Eaglie's Aviary

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Quote of the Erroneous Time Period:
Whole AIM conversation
SexyBody04: Hi there! I'm 18 and have an amateur webpage. I like to wear low-cut clothing and slutty shoes... but I even more happy when it's nothing at all! Please cum see me, and I'll show you a good time.
EaglieHappyOne: This is about the science homework, right?

I love people with bots that just go out and hunt down unsuspecting AIM-using perverts like me to ask me out on dates (though, personally, the speed those girls go is a bit too fast). What I really hate is that the bots don't even give a good response. Wasting my remarks talking to a bit of programming language is sheer madness.

Quote of the Erroneous Time Period (Yeah, so that first one had a very short time period... it says "Erroneous" for a reason):
(Name removed for obvious legal and moral reasons... let's just say he's a very annoying person)
A4everkwuest: so im making an improv game
A4everkwuest: so should I kill [him]
[longish pause]
Gendoh2015: early and often

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

It's odd. I feel like a prophet.
On Sunday canoeing, I said to my parents how cool it would be to have a battle with a bunch of people soaking each other on their boats, maybe to the point of sinking the other. And on Monday, I ended up in a big-ass battle aboard paddleboats.
Team 1: Darryl, Peggy, Mal, Lisa
Team 2: Lora, Sarah Star, Meghan, Andy
We ended up soaked. Whereas Team 2 worked like a finely-oiled machine, Team 1's boat was rife with mutiny. After we called for Team 1 to surrender Darryl, Team 1 one-upped us... they soaked Darryl for us. No harm done, except I did get an unhealthy urge to raise the Jolly Roger. I need to get pictures uploaded from it.

Monday, May 26, 2003

Eaglie on the Wars:

Hobbits can be pretty nasty little creatures. Some people think of them as all cute. They don't realize that with a Nature Walker's Scimitar and a few castings of Protection of Cabbage, they can be evil. Well, not evil. They can be annoying newts.

Ever seen a dead hobbit? I have.

Catch the name on that critter?

Shoutout to all the malnourished basement-dwelling geeks (my friends and kin)!

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Happy anniversary to Star Wars: A New Hope! I can't believe it's already been 26 years!

Let's all give the world a fourth good movie, Georgie... we're all pulling for ya.

God help us! Our movie careers are over! The pain, the pain of it all!

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Oh My commanding wife She want to destroy my life
Oh My comanding Wife she wants to destroy my life

Go, go, go, go.... All for the hip-Hop
Go, go, go ,go.... Wooopaaa
Go, go, go, go.... All for the hip-Hop
Go, go, go ,go.... Wooopaaa

En el tanque de guerra me pasa a buscar
La teniente Gladys Oderais
Es correcto; mi esposa y en particular
fuerza de defensa de Panama

Oh My commanding wife She want to destroy my life
Oh My comanding Wife she wants to destroy my life
Oh My commanding wife She want to destroy my life
Oh My comanding Wife she wants to destroy my life

La metralla koreana ella suele llevar
por si halla alguna novedad
En el cine de misiles no me para de hablar
Ella quiere que le compre una bomba nuclear

Oh oh oh comanding wife no me deja ni respirar
me dice ni un paso atras
(yes wats up listen to the floow)

Eh I donĀ“t belive
Lo que hace conmigo my woman police
she have una placa y controla the law
pero yo la someto in the house con el Jaaaa....
A todas las mujeres que les gusta la pistola
ella quiere que le dispare en un lugar especial
Y a todas esas guiales que son bien mandonas
a la hora de la cama las suavizo de verdad
Dedicada a la mujer que le gusta la pistola
porque ella quiere que le dispare en un lugar originall
A todas esas guiales que yo tengo en Panama
yo voy pa alla, yo voy pa alla.....

Oh My commanding wife She want to destroy my life
Oh My comanding Wife she wants to destroy my life

Oh My commanding wife She want to destroy my life
Oh My comanding Wife she wants to destroy my life

Back to Back- Belly to belly - Ay bien beliciosas son algunas mujeres
Back to Back- Belly to belly - Y esas me tocan a mi caballero
Back to Back- Belly to belly - Un cuartel militar en la casa ella quiere
Back to Back- Belly to belly - Pa no dejarme salir

Cent, five cent, quater, dollar
Cent, five cent, quater, dollar buay
Ten Cent, Ten cent, five cent, five cent
Quarter, quarter, dollar buay
Cent, five cent
Quarter go

Friday, May 23, 2003

Go out and see Ricky, by Pat Ivansek and Alex Zavala, in theaters... no, wait... not in theaters. It's the "best Rocky spoof since Rocky V!" Well, go watch it at the SICP Digital Media place. While you're at it, watch Monkeys by Chief and his friends from Northside Prep. Go Improv-made movies!

Ricky the Wildman is played by Pat Ivansek
Ricky the Wildman shows his stuff before the match

Eddie is Tate Nudo
Eddie takes a break

Alex is Capt. Kirk, Darryl is Joe Jones
Capt. Kirk has his game face on with Joe Jones' torso lining the background

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

An Editorial by Eaglie Puppydogg

The big thing about Reloaded is excessiveness. It was so excessive with the fight scenes and psychobabble. There was an excessive sex scene. There were excessive numbers of Agent Smiths (that's not a bad thing; Hugo Weaving is a great actor). I wish they hadn't moved so much towards computer graphics though. The Matrix was so great, and it had less than a thousand FX shots. Reloaded still was great, though. Damn, I want a full-length black coat like Neo's!
The scene I hated most: the Zion dance scene. It was the prime example of excessiveness. It did not move the plot forward, and the sex scene was not needed here (we already know they love each other! We don't need to see Trinity's orgasm!). It was a waste of film. Ten minutes of watching this, and I was ready to get up and get popcorn. One person actually told me it reminded them of Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, for its tribal rhythms while still being the only free-thinking human civilization on the planet.
Coolest scene: The highway chase. Morpheus slices an SUV in half with a katana. (TAKE THAT GAS GUZZLER!) The agent that smashes the car to pieces by jumping on the hood another amazing trick. Plus, this scene moved the plot forward. The rebels get the Keymaker away and set up for the most important scene in the movie.
Most important scene (don't blink during this portion): The Architect. Yeah, it was only talking, but finally the major plot points are revealed to us. Hearing 500 Neos say "Fuck you" was a hilarious touch. They might have wanted to cut out more of the dance sequence and put in more of this scene. Explain a bit more! I do not want to wait for Revolutions to find out everything!
Special Notes: Anyone notice that all the Agents are white males in between the ages of 21 and 45? And that all of Zion is filled by minority roles. I kid you not that I think this means something.

Monday, May 19, 2003

Loneliness today, for the seniors have left us! Abandoned classrooms, empty lunchtables, and jubilant teachers were all telltale evidence of Senior Study Day. This means there's only a few weeks before school ends! That means I get to hang out with friends, take some fun classes (Fiction Writing and Improv), and work on some independent works (like finishing the Improv Bible and working on my movie script. Still working on that Matrix review, but school comes first.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Yes, I saw Reloaded at 7 on Thursday. I'm working on getting Enter the Matrix. Expect a review later, but I might wait to see it again first.

    Another Eaglie List: Top Things to Do with Your AP Number/Barcode Stickers after All Your AP Tests Are Done:

  • Hand them out to little kids
  • Stick them on your clothes
  • Mummify your pens and pencils
  • Mummify a sibling's face
  • Put one on the back of your neck. You are now not only identified as a number and a barcode. You are also now a major sci-fi geek
  • Use them on some product in a store. Bring it up to purchase it. See how long it takes the cashier to figure out that your AP barcode is not the real barcode for that product.
  • For more fun, put the sticker on top of the real barcode of that product. See how long it takes the cashier to call management (or security)

Thursday, May 15, 2003



Wednesday, May 14, 2003

I have just realized I've been using a lot of pictures for posts... so, for the sake of ever-shrinking webspace and my desire to keep this blog going more than a month, I'm going to slow down.


Eaglie's First Death Threat
Well, after the sheer load of reactions the Aviary got after the Hippo Meat thing (two friends laughed uneasily and one IETA member sent me a threatening note in English class), we here at the Aviary decided we needed to post another message I got, from an animal rights' group, as a public service announcement. This should serve as collateral for the damage and anguish we may have caused:

Dear Eaglie,

We here at Greenpeace believe that the western world needs to wake up and realize that animals are superior beings to humans. We're not opting for equality. We opt for full blown autocracy by invertebrates and other vertebrates alike! People in the world think we're crazy. That is not true. You cannot prove insanity without legal documents, which we would be immune from, as we are a powerful interest group.
That said, we are appalled that you would ever consider posting an advertisement that involves the slaughter of Hippopotami! You of all people! A well-known, respected animal activist and believer in the equality of animals! We demand that you post a retraction, apology, and post our public service announcement!

Image does not reflect the real Greenpeace*

The Nerds of Greenpeace

Hmmm, well, I am sorry for the mental anguish. I will think first in the future when offered $5.21 to post an ad on a site that doesn't make any money anyway. I'm sorry.

*Please note: Image does not reflect the views of the real Greenpeace or my views of them. Please leave my family and me alone, you terrorist Treehuggers!


Monday, May 12, 2003

Woooooo! AP Bio test is DONE! Only one more AP test to go! Four more finals! Tons of seniors to get stuff for! Tons of clubs having their final meetings and/or culminating events! Tons of Mrs. Mueller projects to get done!


Friday, May 09, 2003

It's Friday, I'm tired what's to say? I've got less than a week before Reloaded, but I have to make it through Biology and Comp. Gov. AP tests first. I passed that Bio final by the way, "A-." The curve ended up being set around 50 (out of 120) as an "A." Hooray for curves (take that to mean whatever you want, by the way)!

Eaglie Shills Again
Today, a public service announcement from our friends of the American Council of Exotic Food and Illegal Drugs:

Are you unhealthy? Overweight? A fat-ass lump of lard? Really? I mean, just looking at you through the camera in your ceiling, you didn't answer me truthfully! Well, don't fear, because the American Council of Exotic Food and Illegal Drugs has approved yet another food that can, well, do nothing for your chronic obesity, but it sure tastes tangy with the right marinade!

HIPPO: May cause loss of hearing, smell, taste, sight, feeling, sense of decency, sense of direction, life

That's right! Hippo can be very hard to catch, very expensive to buy and to catch (think of those teeth and those poor poachers!), and very illegal to catch, but all that can be forgotten when you take that first bite out of a nice, juicy, 500-pound thigh!

Thank you,
The American Council of Exotic Food and Illegal Drugs

I hear PETA, or [shiver] IETA, calling...


Thursday, May 08, 2003

Eaglie's "Do's and Don'ts" of Writing Papers:
  • Use many, many, many quotes (teachers love quotes, and they fill tons of space)
  • Change wordings when copying and pasting
  • Use the Thesaurus on MS Word to this end
  • Turn on funny "Away Message" on AIM while you're working
  • Use "widowers," one word on a line ending a paragraph
  • Use double-spacing without abandon

  • Misspell a teacher's name
  • Drink pop over the keyboard...
  • Let a paragraph end on the right side of the page (see "widower")
  • Leave footnotes from the source on the final draft
  • Try to write a list of do's and don'ts for papers while trying to write a paper yourself

By the way, Dr. Watts is leaving St. Ignatius as principal to be principal at Gordon Tech. I'm probably not going to be alone in saying this, as every single teacher at SICP that worked with him will say the same thing to him:

Poor rat!

He finally came off his ivory tower to tell us he was leaving. Most of the faculty knows me somehow. Dr. Watts never remembered who I was. Oh yeah, there was the time he left for Florida just before a huge snowstorm, and he had Ignatius go to school anyway, one of two schools in Chicago that stayed open that day. HE WAS NOT IN CHICAGO. HE WAS ON A BEACH. I went to school in a foot or so of snow, he was up to his ass in two inches of sand. Goodbye, and good luck, Dr. Watts!

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

I felt so good (and felt so much like not doing homework) that I decided I'd add another entry for today!
Right then.

A greeaaaat bio final today. Actually, I left 41 out of 120 questions blank (there was a guessing penalty). I believe Ms. Sachs did not even know some of the questions. She said she didn't like the exam at all, but didn't have much say in it. That's gotta tell you something. Someone in band said this to me before the test: "I figure there were two types of questions: ones that I knew three of the answers but didn't know the question, or the ones where I knew the question but didn't understand any of the answers."

Greatest dumb blonde joke ever here. We'll see how long that stays up.
Check this out too.

Eaglie's Flavor of the Month: Vanilla

To finish today, think about this warning while you're lying awake tonight:

God threatens retribution

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Wow, how often can you hear a bell and know that you just lost $80? Besides at boxing matches, cockfights, and stock exchanges, I can't think of anytime other than today. I came late to school (actually early) but I was late to my AP test. I was told that I couldn't take the test, being 30 or so minutes late. An $80 test. Wow... this is the last time I explain it. I've told over 20 people this story (there is more to it, but truthfully, I don't care anymore). As one philosopher in Mr. Stanley's class put it to me, "Shit happens."

Here's something that Pacold told me about that I had to look up. I feel much better!:
(Note that people and school names are not the real ones. I found a number of different sources with different names, all stating this was to protect various identities)

"Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

This is reputed to be a true story from the Engineering Dept. of Texas A&M University.

A physics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students. The exam consisted of only one question:
'Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.'

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. Thus, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell, and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people don't belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we must look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to remain the same, the volume of Hell must expand as souls are added. This produces two possibilities:

(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure of Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in the number of souls entering Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and two years have now passed without the desired result, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.'

The student received an 'A' in the class. "

I feel warm and fuzzy inside again! I sure hope this time it's the kind of warm fuzzies that don't require hospitalization!

Monday, May 05, 2003

Woohoo, got the damned BLOGGER to publish!
Hmmm, English Language exam is tomorrow. Time to prove that I can understand my native tongue!

Quote of the Erroneous Time Period:
"Crowded elevator smell different to midget." - Old fake Chinese proverb.

Eaglie Speaks Out:
What against? Maybe something serious? Just maybe? I am a leftwing radical for God's sake. I'm here to discuss the important issue many over Hollywood's portrayal of demons. They receive very bad raps. I mean, they usually spend their time in movies being created (or summoned, as the case may be) and then ripping various organs out of humans (or other demons, as this case may be). Even just slightly demonic creatures are not spared from the flame. Vampires and Werewolves, creatures that are, by all accounts, at least half-human, are played by only Human-Americans, such as Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox. Are these blatant disregards for the Bill of Rights and the International Convention on Human Rights things we wish our children to see, to grow up with?! The NAAHSA (National Association for the Advancement of Hellspawned Americans) has requested that I print this letter on their behalf:

Dear Human-Americans or To Whom This May Be Concerned,

Many of you do not know the pain of being bound for all eternity to have scaly skin, flaming hands, or a red pitchfork. None of you will ever know, save a number of CEOs and politicians. We balance the forces of Light and Dark in this world, though the world usually does not need much weight on the darker side. Our point is, the world needs us.
We implore you, citizens of the United States, please do not remove Affirmative Action. Instead, extend it to Demon Americans. We need all the help we can get. We are discriminated against in most job markets, save politics and law. You may be against our ideology and religion, but does the First Amendment not grant us all equality?

William Gates III
President-elect of the NAAHSA

Though I am completely against their ideological stance, I must implore myself and all Human-Americans: we shall stand in solidarity with Demon-Americans over these travesties, and we shall stand united in asking President Bush for change... for progress for our demonic brothers!



Sunday, May 04, 2003

Hmmmmmm, just saw X-2. I'll try not to ruin the ending for you, with Jean Grey becoming the Phoenix, while the President of the United States (thankfully not a Bush) is persuaded by Xavier and the X-Men to not do an inflammatory speech against mutants, and while Pyro joins the Brotherhood of Mutants and Wolverine discovers the Alkali Lake base where he was Weapon X under various experiments by US and Canadian governments. I won't say ANYTHING, no matter how hard you beat it out of me!
Highlights: Cyclops cries (his tears are deadly), and Wolverine has a kitty lick his claws. Oh yeah, there's Jean Grey becoming the Phoenix, too. Phoenix'll own anyone.

Sadly geeky notes on X-Men 2:
Being a student of Advanced Placement Biology, I was horrified to hear a statement by Pyro: "Well, we discovered that only the father carries the mutant gene, so actually it's [the dad's] fault." I thought to myself: Wait, that'd mean this is sex-linked, and the gene would be carried on the Y-chromosome. What's the problem with this? Only males could have the mutant gene! Then where the hell would Storm, Jean Grey, Rogue, and so on come from?!
Besides, these are mutations. There wouldn't be a specific gene for them. A mutation is a change in the genetic sequence. You could only inherit a predisposition for a mutation. I really shouldn't even get into the physics and biological impossibilities of having a slight change in the order of nucleotides bestow upon a person the power to control weather or shoot lasers out of your eyes.
Thank you, now I'm going to go watch Star Trek and cry myself to sleep now.

Welcome to Eaglie's Aviary, launched 'cause, well, everyone has a blog now. Take special note that I ACTUALLY USE (mostly) CORRECT GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION ONLINE, THOUGH I DO GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THE CAPS LOCK SOMETIMES... All my friends seem to have blogs, so I just had to check it out. We'll see how often I remember to post... I don't have a good track record with stuff like this. Just take a look at my old website. It's kinda updated... and kinda not. Most of it's from 7th grade.
The mission statement of Eaglie's Aviary: to dispense wisdom and right thinking... of course, mostly from Eaglie AKA Andy. I'll give you tips on foreign and domestic policy (and day-to-day life too; I love household/classroom politics) from my left-wing agenda. Viva la Revolucion!

Eaglie's Origin (Not for the Jock-of-heart):
There once was a wood elf living in the trees of a great big forest with all the other elves. This elf played with the pixies, the fae drakes, the arboreans, the faeries, and the wolves all the time, for all the creatures loved the elves. The elf developed an affinity for animals, so much that he finally stopped using the wolves as archery targets. Then some gnomes and dwarves attacked and killed the elf's family for worshipping the elven goddess. After smacktalking them, the elf, with the help of a catlike Bard, killed one of the gnomes and took some platinum from the corpse. And so Eaglie Puppydogg joined in the Diety Wars, and became an officer of the Flowers of Happiness. GO GO GOOD TEAM!
Make sure to check out notacult.com if you wonder at all where that came from.

By the way, me, Burdulis, and Alex were just named successors to Chief for the Improv leadership. We're starting a Socialist utopia within a Jesuit high school, the first of its kind. We'll see how that turns out. I can see it: Ignatius Improv: Proof That Communism Works... Wow, I'm a a bit ahead of myself.