Monday, October 31, 2005
"There! There wolf!"
It's that day of the year again. Ghosts and goblins come out to play, and all the vampires and werewolves complain for equal pay. That's right, the NAAHSA (National Association for the Advancement of Hell-Spawned Americans) and Transvanian-American Alliance are whining again. Apparently, this time, they want an official religious holiday.
Dear Human-Americans, Hell-Spawned Americans, Space Alien-Americans, and Celebrity-Americans,
I hope I didn't miss anybody. Anyway, we know that you have aided in our plight before, but this has gotten bad. Under the current Christian regime, we cannot seem to find ourselves living in peace with our brothers and sisters of the United States. We continue to fight for our rights, just as black Americans and other minorities fought decades ago... and continue to fight (Rosa Parks, may God/Lucifer/Anubis/Xaqwenzxi bless you).
In this yearly message, we ask for our official holiday. A religious holiday, one no employer can refuse to recognize. I mean, Halloween comes but once a year, and it is a holy day for us, but no one but astute older children recognize it for what it really means (throwing eggs and TP'ing cars). The adults forget this and just drink, and the children only use the costume ritual. It is a fine tribute, but personally, we need a more important holiday recognized, the birth of Dracula, a saint in our heart(s).
Personally, I think it should be the third Monday of every September. None of us know it, but I'd say it's close enough. Thank you for your time.
William Gates III
President of the NAAHSA
Keep in touch, guys!
Same for you, audience. Maybe I'll have some more treats for you guys later!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Blizzard is a good company, and they do great things... sometimes ridiculous.
This is not "great" ridiculous though. This is plain ridiculous.
Joust at BlizzCon!
Like good samaritans, we cometh.
Women's Suicide Mistaken for Halloween Decoration
Thursday, October 27, 2005
It's too controversial to cheer on baseball. I think I'll keep to doing that with my parents.
I never got to go out and cheer when the Bulls did this!
Screaming and honking (cars, buses, taxis, police) on Sheridan, and me, in my Batboy Sox hat. And a light drizzle to help. A cop pulled over and starting talking to the kids in front and noted their intent to pull a stop to our celebration. Then, they honked a bunch of times, rolled up the window, and sped away honking. Chicago r0XX0rs.
My White Sox did it. It will never be denied. My White Sox.
WHITE SOX WIN!
Also, I feel no need to clarify why I cheer for the Sox. The Sox are my team. Cubs are my team with the better stadium. Get the picture?
That one was for Grandpa and Grandma Adamson!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A Chicago Cubs and White Sox Fan?
I'm not just a "Chicago fan." I love Chicago, but for the Cubs and Sox... I was raised on both teams. I probably would choose Cubs over Sox, but I am not resentful. I am still a White Sox fan. I went to my first Sox games only a few weeks after my first Cubs game. I've been to White Sox training camp (fun few days of fielding and batting with a lesser White Sox player).
Thus, not one Sox fan can spew hatred of the Cubs at me. It will roll off. The White Sox will rise, so follow the Cubs.
DO IT FOR GRANPA, WHITE SOX!
I am such a nerd.
Swiss Army USB
A few articles I picked up lately, since today really is Baseball Day:
Wanted: More viewers for compelling Series
Apparently, there aren't that many viewers watching the World Series, even though it's been by far the best World Series since the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees in 2001.
White Sox Series Win May Ease Chicago's `Second City' Syndrome
Here's a happier note. I love the quotes at the end from the Nashville boy turned Chicagoan.
We will rise. Cubs and Sox. Sox first, apparently, then Cubs in the next few years.
And I think we can all agree: New York sucks.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
It requires another thought for the day... yes, I am still awake from yesterday. C'mon, it's not that late!
But seriously now. I am not a journalist. I may do inane and gonzo journalism, but I will leave the real tributes and montages to CNN,
Rosa Parks, for playing a little spark in one of the most important movements in the 20th Century, and for fighting for justice in the face of the American way... may you rest in peace.
I mean, you can tell she did something. Just ride any CTA bus south of Roosevelt.
ROSA PARKS (1913-2005)
Monday, October 24, 2005
Another post? Quite the productive day?
Ask my homework that question.
A Roshanda by Any Other Name
Anyway, in some big humor news:
Steve Martin wins the 2005 The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor
Here's an actual article about it: Well, Incluuuude Him: Martin Joins Twain Pantheon
Normally, I don't like to poach (except maybe from Dave Barry and notacult.com), but this requires it.
Young Singers Spread Hate, calling themselves "Prussian Blue."
Yeah, because us Prussians really needed the comparison to the racist Full House. You know, the episode where Stephanie and DJ get peer pressured not to go out and tar-and-feather their childhood friends Tyrone and Latysha, but then they do it because they know it's right?
HAHA! I'm just kidding. There were never any minorities on Full House.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Really Cheap Beer Squirrel
I say no more, other than "SQUEAK!"
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
FUN FOR ALL AGES (and most political views... c'mon, anyone can be a good sport!)!
The Bush Freefall
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Hey, I did my searching, and I found the article (I lost track of it?) I have based my philosophy about journalism on. It's Dave Barry, but you already knew that.
My Newspaper Career by Dave Barry
The beautiful thing about posting stuff by Dave Barry is that I don't have to be funny for a while.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Do it for my grandpa. He's a better angel than Anaheim.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Is anyone else as worried as me about the White Sox? I mean, we've seen this before. ALCS... White Sox playing the Angels... Danny Glover managing...
If the fans start standing and flapping their arms on when there's two outs in the 9th in game seven, we're screwed.
They're always watching...
Thursday, October 13, 2005
October 13th. 10/13. Ten-Thirteen. It's the holy day of many nerds, specifically X-Philes. It tends to rank behind March 14th (3/14) and May 25th (5/25), but it DOES represent Chris Carter's birthday, his production company, the dates and times on many episodes of the X-Files, Mulder's birthday, and, most importantly, the last four digits of Mulder's cell number.
Happy Ten Thirteen, my fellow philes! Byers!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Did I say good luck to the White Sox?
Unlike some people around here, I enjoy good baseball and actually enjoy seeing Chicago teams bring home championships. I will be cheering for them.
Of course, we usually know how that goes.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I personally love the less hectic news days.
Open microphone reveals papal dentist appointment
Monday, October 03, 2005
Not saying much more about Serenity other than that I've never been so affected by a film ever.