Eaglie's Aviary

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Continuing Coverage

Dave Barry 3, Eaglie 0 (but it's only Wednesday!).

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

And Sometimes...

...life is worth living, because of people like these guys:

Star Wars: Animated Solely by Hand
Funny Stop motion with candles

Monday, January 29, 2007

Super Bowl XLI Coverage on the Aviary and Dave's Blog

Wow! Another treat from Dave!


Germans Can Be Funny? Besides Hitler?

This is why I thank God every day we won World War II.

Sunday, January 28, 2007


Now that Andy's finished his whining (I hope, the little pussy), we can get back to the serious work of this weblog.

Welcome back, Aviarians, from Dave Barry (in time for the Bears' Super Bowl!).


"Life Is Pain. Anyone Who Tells You Differently Is Selling Something."

Life can seem like it's crumbling before your eyes. Friends disappear, lovers quarrel, family members die, and gang lords mistake you for someone totally different.

We all go through our heartbreaks and loneliness. There's anger, sadness, pity, and physical pain to top it all off. But yet we still go on, together or alone. We grieve our failures, yes, but we celebrate our triumphs.


Like any healthy human being, life is insane. Clinically, life should not be allowed to walk the streets. But it is. Life gets preferential treatment because it's beautiful, despite its flaws. We suffer to enjoy what we have and have coming. That's why we get through the crap. That's why we exist, to the best of our knowledge.

Giving advice to a friend recently, I gleaned a slight bit of insight I'd forgotten. Yes, she turned the tables on me and made me rethink a thought I'd had. With her leaving for another college (East Coast) within a half year and us having just gotten to be friends, I'll probably never get to reach her again besides through the ever-popular medium of AIM. But still, I told her to not completely disappear, or else the few months we hung out would be a waste. Then, she said, "its [sic] never a waste!"

It is very hard to remember this sometimes, but she is right. Maybe she didn't mean it this way, but it's true: you can never forget the people you've met in life. They all affect you, and the memories keep accumulating. When I'm old and prostate-less, I'll still remember all my friends and family and pets. I'll remember sledding in the woods, building a fort in the dorm lounge, and turning a coffee can into a high explosive. And, more importantly than any can believe, I will remember the people who touched my life even in the tiniest ways. I'll see all the grief I've caused, all the laughs I've forced, and all the change I've lost in those fleeting moments. I will die with those memories flashing, and, if I'm lucky, with family and friends surrounding me, all the shining, beautiful, ugly, stupid faces that I love.

So I disagree with those who say we die alone. It's such a cliche. Personally, I'm going to die laughing.

I'm Back, Too!

Damn skippy.

It's About Time

It's about time to start breaking out of the personal funk I've been in. Yes, the main part of it has been over a girl, as most of the Aviary readers have guessed (or been privy to secondhand accounts of). Though, you know, it's not just about a girl. I think it's about my life story in general. And of course, all the supporting players. But that's exactly why Eaglie and I can pick up where we left off on this blog.

And if you were wondering, Eaglie took a vacation, figuring that he should leave me to deal with the emotional troubles myself. But he did tell me something useful when he got back and slapped me an hour ago: "Andy, you need to be able to have a personal life, yes, but it shouldn't entirely interrupt your worklife. So, get writing again, jerkoff."

I figure this probably won't happen again (the vacation for emotional reasons, not the slapping... that happens all too often).

And, just so you know, in vino, veritas... but only a smidgeon.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Reruns, Day 4

From Thursday, May 11th, 2006:

Through my tired and somewhat depressed eyes (you try looking at the rest of this website and not get depressed), I found this on a site about the horrors of the Great War:

German Soldiers Invade Poland... on Bicycles...

Gave me a little bit of a laugh.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Reruns, Day 3

From Monday, July 11, 2005:

Eaglie is back, from Washington. Yes, I went to DC with my family, and I woke up Thursday morning to find out London was hit by terrorist bombs.

I know my great grandfather (Irish Catholic) would hate me for saying this, but the British are a good people. Always cheerful (or respectful), and never sullen.

My mom told me a story that when she visited the British Isles years ago, she couldn't find a place to stay in London. She walked the streets in the typical London weather (bad), looking glum. But a voice shouted to her, "Cheer up, miss, it'll get better!" And it was a man sitting in the street on crutches, a man who'd lost his leg during a Luftwaffe blitz on London.

This could not have happened to a less-deserving people.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Reruns, Day 2

From October 24, 2005:

Normally, I don't like to poach (except maybe from Dave Barry and notacult.com), but this requires it.

Young Singers Spread Hate, calling themselves "Prussian Blue."

Yeah, because us Prussians really needed the comparison to the racist
Full House. You know, the episode where Stephanie and DJ get peer pressured not to go out and tar-and-feather their childhood friends Tyrone and Latysha, but then they do it because they know it's right?

HAHA! I'm just kidding. There were
never any minorities on Full House.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


From January 22, 2004:

State of the Union Address Translator
See the transcript of the real State of the Union Address
And note, if you're conservative, some of this will probably burn your eyes, some will brighten them with laughter...

"America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people."

Translation: Fuck you, allies, fuck you all. We don't fuck around when it comes down to US "interests," and this time, "interests" seriously counts people too!

"If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage. "

Translation: Since the judicial branch, appointed by politicians like me, is not listening to politicians like me and is instead looking at the world in a more lawful and fair way, Congress and I are gonna tramp all over the constitution.

"Americans took those dollars and put them to work, driving this economy forward. The pace of economic growth in the third quarter of 2003 was the fastest in nearly 20 years. New home construction: the highest in almost 20 years. Home ownership rates: the highest ever. Manufacturing activity is increasing. Inflation is low. Interest rates are low. Exports are growing.
Productivity is high. And jobs are on the rise. These numbers confirm that the American people are using their money far better than government would have and you were right to return it. America's growing economy is also a changing economy. As technology transforms the way almost every job is done, America becomes more productive, and workers need new skills. Much of our job growth will be found in high-skilled fields like health care and biotechnology. So we must respond by helping more Americans gain the skills to find good jobs in our new economy. "

Translation: I cannot list real facts. I can only list general statements about the economy. But, they're all true! Minimally true, but true!

"Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year. [applause]"

Translation: Since there is applause right after this statement, either the Patriot Act is really unpopular with, like, any sane person... or all the Republicans have water in their ears and are just clapping along with the Democrats. There may also be technical difficulties with our APPLAUSE indicator.

I'm sorry for those who hate politics, but I had to. I hate the State of the Union addresses always. Every president that has been in office has had terrible State of the Union addresses that can barely be picked apart with the sheer fluff that goes into them... The addresses never give true, tangible facts. And if they do, they end up accusing Niger of some radioactive metals dealing.

Too bad Dubya has to have such stupid ideas in international affairs (a mostly unnecessary war backed up by everything the US could muster, a Road Map to Peace not backed up by anything, a snubbing of the EU, UN, NATO, the theory of preemptive strikes, the Us or Them theory, etc.) Since I disagree with pretty much every international policy Bush has ever put into effect, I was dying during the first part of that speech.

Anyone notice ironically that in Us or Them, "Us" can also be written as "US" or maybe even "U.S."

Just so you guys know, because of personal issues, me and Andy are taking a break for a while. We'll be writing in Eaglie 390, but that's a school-required thing. That'll be somewhat boring to read, but maybe we'll put together some real insights. Also, Andy might continue to post under my name on LiveJournal, the poor sentimental sap.

Anyway, we'll be back. Believe me. Humor in life never stops. Only the willingness to laugh.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Huh? There was a State of the Union Address tonight? Oh, right.

"Blue Barricudas!"

Eaglie 390

Here's a new project I'm working on for a class about video games. It's a blog, and it'll probably get pretty scholarly at times. Try to enjoy it (maybe you will, once I actually finish the layout changes I'm doing to it): Eaglie 390.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Life Is Insane... But It's Still Beautiful

For Love and Art

Art Buchwald died last Wednesday. Certainly, a good humorist and satirist is lost to our world, one who loved life and who ate a lot of Big Macs and pastrami sandwiches.

Have a good rest.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Colts vs. Bears?

Let the game begin.


I Can Invent Words, Too

Bears 39, Saints 14!!!!

The Bears are in the Super Bowl! And Lovie Smith just couldn't "PAUSE" his way out of that Gatorade shower!


Friday, January 19, 2007

More from Portland

I should really get into this national news business. It's a pretty fun business, I hear.

This Just in from Portland

A friend from Portland just sent me this.

Comment Moderation

Just so you gusy know, it was completely an accident that comment moderation was on. That's why I never even checked up on it. The accident came out of a project I'm working on, using blogger, and so you'll see the results of that sometime soon.


This is what the French are doing nowadays?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

moor 3pix

The French are weird.

They Have Feathers in Canada?

Another epic story on such an epic day in gaming.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn the Crusade

With the release of WoW: The Burning Crusade and probably my triumphant yet very saddening return to WoW, I give you the leaked Tier Six armor sets, all very unique for their respective classes and full of unimaginable abilities and stats.

Obama. Is. Running.

I should've imagined Obama would announce his presidential bid right around Martin Luther King Day.

I suppose I'll be throwing my hat behind him. I wish he had waited and gotten himself into a better position in the Senate, but if he's going for it, he's going for it. He just needs to start showing us that he's capable of governing more than just 1/100th of a decision.

Good luck.


Sunday, January 14, 2007

Bears 27, Seahawks 24!

For the first time since Erik Kramer, the Bears won a playoff game! And I had a dozen heartattacks during the game!

Doc says I hafta limit my pork intake.


Friday, January 12, 2007

Hitler? Humor? Hefe Weiss?

Since when has Hitler not been funny?

(Stolen from Xanthus. Thanks!)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

How Can I Follow the Tech Guy Act?

How's 'bout anoder great episode a'da Superfans.

Return of a Hero

It's been years since his last fight. He's been working smalltime, no big quests or capers. Can he still get into the ring? It remains to be seen... but as sequels and old boxers go, it ain't over 'til it's over:

Episode 00110010: Black Mamba

Recently, the mild-mannered Andy received a new camera. A Canon Powershot A540, 6.1MP, manual controls, and 3x optical zoom. The product is amazingly user-friendly, and it doesn't require a superhero to work them! It just requires YOU!

Anyway, Andy begins to open his camera.

Tension-building photo-op!

Tension is intense!

He gasps! But, what, Andy? What do you see?

That was unexpected.

im in ur camerabox, layin my eggs

A tiny basilisk! Sent here to assassinate Andy, no doubt! For, you see, Andy is no ordinary technical genius! He is a TECHNICAL SUPERHERO!

But Andy hasn't fought for years against anything more than a dozen or so viruses and a few broken hearts! Is he ready for action?!

Struggle with it, Andy the Tech Guy! Struggle!

He most certainly is! And after precious minutes of this life-or-death struggle, Andy the Tech Guy comes out victorious!

Cheap death makeup.

So, that's handled. The basilisk was obviously sent by some dastardly villain of Andy's past. But who? Perhaps Trojan Warrior? Bill Gates? The Old Packard Bell CD-ROM Drive? But first thing's first. If there was a mini-basilisk in there, where the heck is Andy's new camera?

The box is completely empty! Except if you count the user manual (like Andy needs THAT), the AV cords (again, pssshhhaaaww), and the CD (he may need the drivers. May.).

There it is!

It's actually a really great camera, by the way.

Victory (for Canon)!

Writer: Andy
Director: Andy
Photographer: Mom

Andy ... Andy
Tiny Basilisk ... Tiny Basilisk
Canon Powershot A540 ... Kodak Easyshare 743

Will Andy the Tech Guy hunt down the perpetrator? Will he bring him or her or it to justice? Tune in to "Andy the Tech Guy" next time to find out!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Sorry, Ohio!

I have lost all my Ohio readers because of yesterday. Therefore, I fully apologize for the "Ohio State is not God's Team" comment.

Instant Obituary

Momofuku Ando, inventor of Ramen Noodles, recently died. I'm personally sending his widow a brick of roses.

And enough irreverance. Rest in peace, Momo.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Gators 41, Buckeyes 14!

"God's Team" lost today to a herd of reptiles, so that maybe God gave up on His team and has a new team. So maybe Ohioans should stop calling their team that.

E 4 ALL!

Hats off to GamePro for bringing back E3 us E4. I knew that hole would be filled eventually.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I Visit Forums a LOT

I actually enjoy the complainers. They make me feel better about my own life.

(Article courtesy Pacman)

Titanic Two the Surface

Loyola Beats Ignatius

The Jordan boys and their Ramblers beat St. Ignatius in the great Jesuit rivalry game this year. The score was 53-28. Guess when boys' parents are getting divorced, they play angry.

Yeah, I went there. And I should've been at the game to heckle them, too. I could've been thrown out by His Airness's body guards themselves!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Vacation Stories

Dave writes them best.

(Yes, it is a new Dave column. Also, here's a picture of the airport he talks about in the column. He really isn't joking about the hill.)


A thrilling documentary.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I Post of the Awespme Power of Wikipedia #4

I would like the troupe of Ignatians that I hang out with to end up like this, only with less attempted suicides.


Only for Priests

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Strindberg and Helium

This is how I feel sometimes.

Enough to Make You %#&$ Bricks

From Joystiq: Building a LEGO Halo Elite

Also, Brick Flick, where they do gaming scenes, LEGO style!


I Didn't Know Hangovers Lasted that Long

However, did you know that a group of otters is called a family (or a bevy, a raft, or, my favorite, a romp)?

Also, that otters are cute?

Awwwwwwwww... welcome to the Aviary in 2007, readers!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year, Readers!

Auld lang syne!