Eaglie's Aviary

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Right-Click to Consume

Best or worst girlfriend ever? I mean, maybe the guy's Alliance.

(As always, thanks to Miramontron, one of my Eyes in the Tubes)

Quest Journalism

Yes, I did just make up the phrase "quest journalism," which is the journalism within the world of an MMOG, usually under the guise of a character. Getting a reaction out of PCs is the main goal, but the journalist must not be afraid to interview everyone and harass indiscriminately.

Quest Journalism might need tweaking to the name, but it really sounds cool.

Video Games and Andy Studies

Andy's looking for ideas for his project for Video Games. I'm thinking I might do some quest journalism in a certain world of a certain craft, and maybe employ a friend or two to help. We'll get the job done, no matter the cost.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Scorcese Ain't No Chowdah-head.

Okay, I'll give you a reprieve, 'cause The Departed was fackin' badass, mistah.

Okay, That's It

Academy, see you at the four-square field after the third bell.

Oscar Night

If Borat doesn't get Best Documentary, it's lights out for the fuckin' Academy.

Also, I need an mp3 of Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly singing about how it sucks to be a comedian on Oscar night.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Trinity High Crusaders versus the Hell Academy Infidels...

This brings me back.

Just Great League

Hey! Justice League movie, maybe! Also, watch the YouTube clips of the failed Justice League live-action pilot attached... they're just great!

Here's a direct link to a clip of that failed pilot.

All for the Proletarichimps

Is anyone else scared of a bloody revolution?

Friday, February 23, 2007

German Humor Is the Best

A Good Video...

...and a quality restaurant that cares.

UPDATE: It was a Taco Bell.

A Theory of Weirdness Magnets

Dave wrote yet another new column. I'd like his retirement deal.

In other, more political news...

(It's all poached from Dave Barry, but hell, I'm the one doing his advertising.)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Where the hell are my archives?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

It's Mardi?

Happy Tuesday Gras!

You know, all I could think of when I first heard about this was:


Monday, February 19, 2007

Yesterday's Solitary Post

In it, I more or less meant "elections" rather than "primaries." Hooray for mayoral elections!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sorry for a Lack of Posting

Primaries are coming up, and hopefully that'll give me something to give ya loyal and merry (wo)men.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Canon Blast 2

The ranter about Pachebel (from a few days ago... don't make me look it up) is named Rob Paravonian, a guy from Waukegan, IL. Does that place know comedy or what?!


Is there anything better than this?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Memphis Is for Lovers

I can't believe a legitimate news source made this pun.

San Valentino le sux

I created this for all you guys on this lovely day of love!

But then I decided my sister's was way better, so I stole hers, and made it from me (though it doesn't say that ANYWHERE):

Happy Valentine's Day, all you happy people (mmmmphhhhgrumblegrumble), from Eaglie & me!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


No one's been downloading more music than usual. Nope. Definitely not me.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

English Majors... PSHAW!!!

I've seriously never done a project like this.

(Thanks to Miramontron)

Saturday, February 10, 2007

She Will Be Back

I was not interested before. Now, I'm overly interested.

Canon Blast

For every musician out there who plays more than guitar tabs.


I'll go make a scholarly comment on this on Eaglie 390.

Friday, February 09, 2007


...YES! (Due out this fall.)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

5th Level of Hell for Me?

Better hurry and buy your sweetheart his/her very own Anna Nicole Smith leftover body part for this Valentine's Day! They're expiring quickly!

After This Astronaut Incident...

...this is definitely the big question on everyone's minds.

It's All...

...exceptionally true, besides the spelling of "alcohol."

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

This Sounds Serious.


Monday, February 05, 2007

One Pony Keg, One Night, One Life to Live

55 beers minus 10 beers drank by other people, and divided among 4 roommates equals...

...four slight hangovers, a few good pictures, and a forgotten Super Bowl score.

Aw, dammit. I just saw it on my blog again.


Sunday, February 04, 2007

A Bridgeport Irish Wake

We're drinking a LOT in Chicago.

Report: Super Bowl XLI, the Party/Wake

People in Chicago/Indianapolis are ecstatic, but that is not what can be said in Chicago/Indianapolis. In the latter city, there is but sorrow, dreams of breaking a drought drowned in the tickertape of their Midwest enemy.

Personally, I’m with my city, Chicago, in being ecstatic/heartbroken. Who could’ve believed that Rex Grossman/Peyton Manning could have sucked so much! They really dropped the ball (about [ ] times, to be exact), and man, he just couldn’t get that throw off before the defense read him. Talk about media predictions!

Here we are, then, popping champagne/crying over whiskey. Congrats to the victors and props to our/their losers for such a good fight.



Final: Colts 29, Bears 17



Still 29-17

Rex, you look like you're crying. And you should.

29-17, Still, But with a Few More Interceptions

Andy's roommate punched the wall. Twice.

Nope, three times.

29-17, Colts

Despair is not here yet. Just the onset of it.





17-22 Now

There's so much joy on Chicago's side for a measly field goal.

22-14, Colts

Right now, there is no joy in Chicago. But maybe there will be.

Explain This to Me Again...

What the hell was with Tony Dungy challenging the number of players on the field? When was that a real challenge?

Music. Over.

That part's over! Really!

The Show

What is Prince wearing on his head?


Great! Prince! Lovely! I'm gonna go drink more!

Still 16-14, Colts

But in a glimmer of sunshine in Chicago, the Colts missed a friggin' easy field goal.

16-14, Colts

The Colts took the lead. Time to drink straight through halftime. Not just to forget the worries. Partly to not be able to hear Prince.

Still 14-6, Bears

I kinda want to see all the Colts cheering after stopping Hester at their 45-yard line.



Bears are leading, 14-6. That's a good sight to see.



If these teams don't stop fumbling, I'm gonna have to get a pacemaker.


Stupid Colts. Scoring a stupid touchdown.

However, they missed the extra point, the saps.

Devin Hester

Devin Hester just returned every single bit of love we've given him the last few weeks. We owe him some more now.

National Anthem

The Star-Spangled Banner was sang by Billy Joel and a very enthusiastic woman doing sign language.

If you doubted before, I just sealed my plane ticket to Hell.

Dan Marino

Go to hell.

I really never thought I'd say that, but stop picking the Colts and doing diet commercials, and maybe I'll care about you again.

A Serious Question:

If at a certain point of making fun of Peyton Manning for doing so many commercials, we go too far, will he stop?


We've tapped the keg, and I've already had three beers (by my estimate... I have an irregularly-sized glass). What time is kickoff?

More a' Da Beer

We are also the only non-commercial group of people to buy this beer in pony keg form. Every other keg went to a company.

Da Beer

We have a pony keg of "Da Beer" from Goose Island, one of the 11 pony kegs of this beer actually made... ever. This will be an interesting live updating day. We'll see if I can actually walk to any other parties.

In Non-Super Bowl News...

For a fleeting moment... this looks trippy.

I'm Still Losing

Dave Barry 5, Eaglie 2.

At least it's not a shutout anymore.

Lovie Claus

I couldn't sleep last night. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve... but I think the Super Bowl still comes if I stay awake all night waiting for it.


Saturday, February 03, 2007

Report: Super Bowl XLI, Part II

The teams playing are the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts. I’m sure you already knew if you’re from within 200 miles of Lake Michigan (or from New Orleans!), but I figured that the rest of the people in the world might care to finally know, too.

Indianapolis and Chicago, being located so close to each other geographically, have been rivals for years, though neither city knew until about two weeks ago. Now, we’re bitter over the border we share. Next July, Illinois cops might just have to stop watching the Wisconsin fireworks stores and focus on the more insidious Indiana merchants. Maybe we’ll build a border fence.

I think, personally, that the citizens of Miami are rooting for the Bears. Why should they? Why not? Miami’s greatest enemy, the Communist government of Cuba, lays southeast of Miami. Chicago’s enemy, Indianapolis, also happens to fall in the same direction. It is about 228 miles to Havana from Miami. That’s only 64 miles more than the distance between Chicago and Indy! Absolutely chilling!

The Colts have gone forever without a Super Bowl. The last time they got to be in one, they got humiliated by Joe Namath and the New York Jets. Last time we were in one, no one could name a player from the team we played (whatever team that was). And the score was 46-10, in our favor. Clear advantage: the Bears.

Historically, the Colts suck. But why couldn’t they turn it around? Most teams do stop sucking at some point. But let’s look at the facts: the vaunted match-up is really the Colts’ offense and the Bears’ defense. The Bears defense runs a Cover-2, which means something along the lines of covering two. The defense was widely considered the best in the league until the last few games, when they began falling asleep on the 40-yard line and getting arrested. It took that for the best defense in the league to get beaten.

They face the Colts’ offense, though, also considered one of the greatest offenses of all time. Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is the center of that offense. However, Sunday morning, if all goes according to schedule, a few key players will wake up next to Manning’s disembodied limbs. The coach’ll get the head.

Speaking of coaches, the biggest deal is that this is the first Super Bowl that a team’s head coach is black. Many things like this come in twos, so why shouldn’t both coaches (the Colts’ Tony Dungy and the Bears’ Lovie Smith) be black?

There is nothing funny about this milestone.

The Midwest cometh Sunday, Miami. Chicago and Indy, neighbors, border-sharers, and rivals, ready to take Dolphin Stadium as their own and to hug that shiny trophy. Hopefully, Miami can make our teams feel at home, and the losers (e.g. the Colts) will find some good company in a dumpster.

Prediction: Bears 402, Colts MIA

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Early Spring Means Early Heat Waves of Death

Look at my last post! Unlike all the other Groundhog Day press coverage, I avoided a joke about global warming!

Aviary readers, be proud and stay cool!

And the Forecast Is...

Both Punxsutawney Phil and Stormy the Groundhog (at Brookfield Zoo) did not see their shadows yesterday. Sounds like the odds are good, then, that we have spring coming up soon, possibly as soon as March 21st!

And apparently groundhogs have orthodontists.

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Paratroopers Are Ready

In more Super Bowl news, security has placed a ban on Mooninites at the game. No entrance for anything below 16-bit.

Security will not be lax for anyone.


Report: Super Bowl XLI, Part I

There is no one in Chicago who does not know what is happening right now. We feel it in the air, we drink it in the water, and we dump it on the curb every morning. The Sun-Times has kept a graphic of palm trees next to their title for the past five months--and this is not a sign of the weather here right now, by any means.

It’s the Bears, as we all know. The Bears are in Miami, home to Super Bowls and cigar smugglers, and the team’s there for both this time. My experiences in Miami are mostly airport- and rental car-related, so admittedly, I don’t know the city very well. I would have loved to go and do this report in person, but unfortunately all the hotels are booked, all the tickets are sold, and I didn’t have a chance in hell of going anyway. So, I have to make do with Wikipedia and four channels of ESPN.

Dolphin Stadium is the focal point of the media flurry. Home of several sporting teams, including an actual football team, it is where and why the Super Bowl has been held in Miami numerous times. As a side note, Dolphin Stadium was also witness to several murders during the 1994 football season. Thankfully, an eccentric private eye, Detective Ventura, was able to solve the murders. Unfortunately, this has been the most excitement for Miami football for three decades.

So maybe Dan Marino never won Miami a Super Bowl. And maybe the Dolphins have lost so many playoff games that the Buffalo Bills might loan them a win or two sometime. The team has spirit, though, and is still beloved by the peaceful South Florida denizens, at least until the next losing season. That’s how long the denizens stay peaceful. Wait--the Dolphins went 7-9 this season and their coach quit?


Ha ha! I kid Miami because I love it (I assume I do)! Miami isn’t that far from being my hometown. Sure, it’s warm and full of palm trees and alligators, but we have those too, if you visit during the right epoch (Cretaceous?). But Miami has something much like us, and very much unlike Indianapolis: water. Since when has Indy had boats? There won’t be any Colts banners flying over any large bodies of water (except for over a few Green Bay Packers’ boats--damned sore losers).

Miami should be excited to host another Super Bowl. They have one of the nicest backdrops for one of the biggest games in all sports, and setting a record for the most hosted Super Bowls without their home team playing in it must be thrilling. Again I kid! But I’m still sure that they must be excited. I hear the gunshots already.

Sorry again, Miami.

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Harry Potter 7

I don't think Andy's gonna be waiting in line for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. Methinks he'd rather enjoy his 21st birthday.