Eaglie's Aviary

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Wow, how often can you hear a bell and know that you just lost $80? Besides at boxing matches, cockfights, and stock exchanges, I can't think of anytime other than today. I came late to school (actually early) but I was late to my AP test. I was told that I couldn't take the test, being 30 or so minutes late. An $80 test. Wow... this is the last time I explain it. I've told over 20 people this story (there is more to it, but truthfully, I don't care anymore). As one philosopher in Mr. Stanley's class put it to me, "Shit happens."

Here's something that Pacold told me about that I had to look up. I feel much better!:
(Note that people and school names are not the real ones. I found a number of different sources with different names, all stating this was to protect various identities)

"Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

This is reputed to be a true story from the Engineering Dept. of Texas A&M University.

A physics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students. The exam consisted of only one question:
'Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.'

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. Thus, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell, and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people don't belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we must look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to remain the same, the volume of Hell must expand as souls are added. This produces two possibilities:

(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure of Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in the number of souls entering Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and two years have now passed without the desired result, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.'

The student received an 'A' in the class. "

I feel warm and fuzzy inside again! I sure hope this time it's the kind of warm fuzzies that don't require hospitalization!