Eaglie's Aviary

Monday, August 31, 2009

I Have Made a Big Decision

No one should sell Oktoberfest ales before September 1st. Period. I might love Oktoberfest beer--it's probably the best style of beer on Earth. But I cannot buy an Oktoberfest brew when the summer sun still lingers and August is still out there, saying hello.

And yet there it is, on the shelf, only a block from my apartment. Oktoberfest beer in August--this is your proof of man-made climate change.


Monday, August 17, 2009

Hippies Fucked Their Way to the Top

Hippies took over the world 40 years ago this weekend with something they called Woodstock. This musical festival had a wide reach, wide enough to make everyone this weekend remember the fond days when fire hoses were legal.

In hippie tradition, city workers in Chicago got a vacation day... without pay. Whether they liked it or not. So clerks stayed home, libraries closed, and City Hall's ancient air conditioners were turned down. Thankfully, the fire department still had their hoses operating.

Get a non-municipal job, hippies!

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Health Care Scare!!!

I was just thinking of my annual Halloween Political Horror Show post, and I thought, I should get on writing that now about health care. Because I have no doubt in my mind that we'll still be arguing about this, possibly with muskets, by October 31st.

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Thursday, August 06, 2009

Today, Social Media Services Were Attacked and Our Innocence Destroyed

Today is a day that will be live-blogged in infamy. Early this August morning, Twitter was attacked. (Tweettacked? Pecked?) Facebook was immediately affected, as were probably a few hundred thousand iPhone Twitter apps. No one knew what to do. Our generation was at its social knees, and no one even knew if Ms. Sonia Sotomayor was going to be approved or not as a Supreme Court Justice.

Though, personally, I thought she was a shoe-in. I mean, I thought she was already promoted Chief Justice weeks ago. A lot happens in weeks and weeks of dry C-SPAN procedure--

Well, that's a lie. Let's catch these perpetrators soon.

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Now This Shit Is Real

Well, maybe not, but it's still disgusting. And really, really clever.

(I really needed to do that title. So many puns, all bottled up after not making them for a few weeks there! So, I promise: more puns on the Aviary, from here on in.)

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