Friday, October 31, 2003
Ah, All Hallow's Eve, a time of romance and love! Only one day a year compares to it, the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Men in cavemen and Richard Nixon costumes woo women in nurse and Playboy Bunny outfits all night! And I get to hoard the Caramel Apple Pops!
Treats for my loyal five fans:
The Vampire Church
Peter's Evil Overlord List
The Oxymoron List
God bless American commercial holidays!
Friday, October 24, 2003
I like my blogs funny and my posts impersonal.
So, thus, I give unto thee:
Subj: Our Gov't regularly gives away money in the form of grants, find out if you qualify! Xd1u g Cf bNsxWE H X 8ZXQ
Date: 10/17/03 8:08:43 AM Central Daylight Time
Our government routinely gives away large sums of money in the form of Grants. Very few people know about these Grants, which is why this opportunity is such an amazing one!
If you meet a few simple requirements, you will be eligible to receive between $10,000 and $156,000, instantly, money that never has to be repayed.
Click here for more information [link removed]
dkryoN 7mkVa1yZr oOkkXBZVg hRK4VJQ Flnc rby0L3Y Mlr01ZeJhr oUVicJRYKxlgTWeOmG Ei tEaF4M8RNYZIfL377elJhvqfjMbYeek 4BJU8uOUjGAWzm9yj2lIIJcRrK94bBZnINkh9P 1ScjkalHsgBXIInJBPa0nOvl2HmW f fnOWSOeSNX hjIIUPXta01Q2g3CdHF OoFMkkIl1S030gPPy
Well, it's a kindly offer, but I can't take money like that. It's dishonest!
NOTE TO SPAMMER: Remove bugs in programming that leave neat little trail of letters, numbers. Gibberish + foreign email address = not good business
Subj: Fwd: pornsite passwordz
Date: 10/20/03 5:52:29 AM Central Daylight Time
freshly hacked and cracked pornsite password list [10/20/2003] [link removed]
must be 18+ to view the list
-^v|[ brought to you by: geN-x ]|v^-
This one's kinda funny. You are giving me a hacked and cracked password list... for pornsites? And those would be passwords that I'd have to pay for otherwise? How could you be more generous!
NOTE TO SELF: Send email (and the virus) to people I hate.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
It's time to not care anymore, but still, Cub fans must get the last word.
Yes, we lost. But we nearly made it to the World Series. Tell me how long it's been since the White Sox nearly made it to the World Series. Unlike the White Sox, the Cubs don't have to tear apart our team to have a shot next year. And who actually has a manager at this current time, an especially good, first-year one? This is why we are hopeful. I'll cite a newspaper editorial. "Don't think of these as the 1984 Cubs. Think of them as the 1984 Bears." In 1984, the Bears were an up-and-coming team that had lost miserably the season before. With a new coach and a newly-built high-powered team, the Bears nearly made it to the Super Bowl before choking. They went 15-1 the next year and blew out the Patriots in the Super Bowl (of course, the team came apart right after that... but let's ignore that part for now).
And, yes, the White Sox won their division in 2000. And the Cubs won it in 2003. Where were the White Sox in the 1989? And where were the Cubs in 1958? And where were the White Sox throughout the 1930's?! And where were we during the Black Sox years? It boggles the mind how often one team sucked when one team did great.
We admit it, we fucked up. The Marlins just played better than us those last three games. We still have our time in the spotlight. The White Sox fucked up, too, this year. Both had their shots, both fucked up. Honestly, some of us Chicagoans need some amnesia-inducing head injuries to forget it all. It's a fucking fuckpot in Chicago right now.
It's probably time to stop the infighting, and to gather together again to start worrying about how terrible the Bears are doing. And the Bulls. And just about all the other Chicago teams. Maybe we can all watch Northern Illinois football? That's not too far off.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
So bitter. So bitter to say that. So goddamned bitter.
But, it's more than we can say for the Chicago White Sox.
About the only news story in town... I'll give our fuckup fan a break, a little sympathy, but he still started such a monumental chain reaction with such a stupid move (stupid moves, a plural, if you looked at everyone around him during the play), that he should be racked with the guilt of his stupidity forever. And hopefully, no Cub fan will EVER reach for a foul ball again if hit by the opposing team.
The Cubs will rise again. We still have Dusty Baker. We will have most of our team back. Our pitching staff will be more experienced, and Sosa should bounce back! This is the rise of the Cubs. We're not gonna lay down and die like the Marlins did the last six years. We shall keep rising! We're gonna win next year.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
There's always a tomorrow for the Cubs (for this series, at least).
Oh yes... By the way, Mr. I-AM-GOING-TO-CATCH-THIS-FOUL-BALL-EVEN-THOUGH-MY-FAVORITE-PLAYER-MOISES-ALOU-IS-STANDING-RIGHT-UNDER-ME-MOTIONING-THAT-HE-MAY-JUMP-FOR-THE-BALL-AND-CATCH-IT-CAUSE-I-WOULD-RATHER-HAVE-A-PIECE-OF-CUBS-MEMORABELIA-THAN-SEE-THEM-GO-TO-THE-WORLD-SERIES...
Monday, October 13, 2003
This blog is officially severing ties with Dave Barry until the Cubs defeat the Marlins. Aviary officials are also considering an official declaration of war on davebarry.blogspot.com to terminate until after the Cubs clinch the pennant.
...ROOT, ROOT, ROOT FOR THE CUBBIES!
Well, I wasn't going to write until the Cubs won the pennant. But I did. So there. The Cubs are still gonna win that pennant! And we're gonna laugh in the faces of all you doubters and detractors when they do.
No matter what, we Cubphiles can start chanting:
NEENER NEENER NEEEEEENER! We're better than youuu*couWHITESOXough*uuuuu!