Eaglie's Aviary

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'm Ready for My Close-Up, O'Hare

Yes, I'm flying. In a plane. Tomorrow. That means I get to be among the first to "wag my tail" for the body scanners at O'Hare International Airport. Well, actually, thousands have already gone through since they opened--it's a busy airport--but I'm the first I know.

Tomorrow, a 3-D image of my body will become property of the U.S. Government. Appendages, crevices, and all. And I hope they take a good look at it because, soon enough, they won't be able to get rid of it for any preexisting conditions.

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

First You, Now the Internet

First YOU get an award, now the Internet might get one! Yes, THAT Internet! What's with all these incomprehensibly large and theoretical entities getting stuff, and when do they ship me mine?

Also, question: does the Internet count as a pronoun by now? I think it does. Oxford, listen up.

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Sunday, March 07, 2010

I Won't Bother with an Oscar Ballot

Everyone seems to have the same bracket for this year's Oscars, airing tonight. Seriously, I can't even disagree with Roger Ebert this year. Thanks a lot, Jeff Bridges, Sandra Bullock, and Mo'Nique.

Okay, so there's still some debate over Best Actor in a Supporting Role (Christopher Plummer), Best Director (Kathryn Bigelow), Best Adapted Screenplay (Up in the Air), Best Original Screenplay (Inglorious Basterds), and Best Picture (Avatar).

And if someone finally beats Pixar for Best Animated Feature Film, there will probably be a couple street fights in Vegas.