Eaglie's Aviary

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

And in other political news...

Ron Paul supporters fight on, and kinda sorta make the Republican race look like the Democratic race does right now.

But not really.

(I still say it needs more property destruction, but thanks for the tip, rdtj23!)


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Quick: Has Anyone Used the Headline "Obama's Wright" Yet?

Another day, another complaint about Obama.

You might notice I've been hard on my home senator who I eagerly lent aid and Molotov cocktails to in 2004. I don't know if it's due to any fault of his...

Well, yes, maybe it is. Here I am enjoying the antics and statements by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and Obama has to deny them all! I mean, at first there was this whole thing of "responsibility" and "understanding generational differences." Now there are flat-out denials.

Yes, open condemnation is the only way to distance oneself from a loud-mouthed black preacher (watch the Al Sharpton-Pat Robertson commercial for proof of that), but at a certain point, the entertainment factor must be considered. Barack, you have the most entertaining pastor of any of your opponents at the moment. Why lose that advantage?

Or maybe I'm just a cynic looking for a good time.


Sunday, April 27, 2008

Wow, I'm Impressed, Mr. Bushie

President Dubbya told a great joke at the White House Correspondents Thingie: "Senator Clinton couldn't get into the building because of sniper fire, and Senator Obama is at church."

Now if only he had a Kevin Eubanks cymbal crash and laugh.


Again, This Is Dedicated to Andy

I don't even have a word for this. Besides "hot."

Also, on the subject of words, if "Terms of Service" is how you wanna put it... well, then.

(From Dave Barry.)


Branding Yourself

It can hurt. It can also lead to very truthful parodies.

By the way, I don't like Apple. Did you guys know that?

(From io9.)


Saturday, April 26, 2008

I Have My Own Red Shirt

But I'm still nerdy enough to give Andy this for Christmas.


Cambridge, the Intellectual Center of the United States

I take a few days' vacation and this is what I miss?


Wednesday, April 23, 2008


If you've never heard the term tentacle porn, don't worry, this isn't it.

It's tentacle soft-touching, actually. Just as creepy.

(From rdtj23.)


Crown Royal, the Canadian Champagne of Whiskeys

No more whiskey (or whisky, for that matter) for Sen. Hillary Clinton! She won Pennsylvania by a huge margin, and that's a good thing! She hates that stuff! It's all champagne from here on out! As for the rest of the Democrats, they get to wallow in the fact that this race is going to outlast the US Constitution.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Happy Earth Day! And Other Stuff, Too!

It's Earth Day, yes, but it's also Pennsylvania Primary Day, both of which mean nothing... until today.

Well, Earth Day still means nothing, but Pennsylvania this Tuesday is more than just the whipping boy of several national sports: it is also being pimped for votes.

Sen. Obama and Sen. Clinton are currently out in droves (they themselves make up "droves," according to Webster, by the way) and gathering support in their last hours of this primary. The polls are almost closed on the East Coast, and whoever wins here... probably doesn't win the nomination, but they're a few votes closer than they were!

Being the politically savvy guy I am, I was watching CNN today, and they talked about how candidates, in such close races, start to appear on the energetic, youth-oriented talk shows. After Obama's visit to The Daily Show, they played a clip of Hillary Clinton on Larry King Live.

Very youthful, indeed.

The other thing I noticed: CNN reran a clip of the infamous bowling atrocity. There was also a clip of Clinton sipping Crown Royal out of a shot glass (after toasting), but that is another matter entirely.

I sat there, scratching my head, realizing what had transpired: Obama threw left-handed.

Why are we not talking about this? Forget the atrocious bowling. Forget Reverend Wright. Forget guns, religion, and his lack of any experience whatsoever. Why did I not know he was left-handed?

Back in the day, lefties were dragged out in the streets, put on spits, and slow-roasted. Either that, or stones were placed on top of them until they couldn't recite the Lord's Prayer no more.

It makes sense that Obama uses his left hand a lot, but when did we stop doing fun things like crushing torture to marginalized members of our society that make up, for all purposes, 50 percent of the population? And it is not my half, because I'm not a freak. So there's the other fear: what if he mandates on classroom desks? Or a pronouncement on those so-called "northpaw" pitchers?

Don't quote me stats that the greatest, most democratic presidents, such as Harry Truman, Bill Clinton, and the Immaculate Ronald Reagan, were left-handed. I'm not THAT politically petty.

But how can I be sure that he'll protect the righties of this nation? I cannot abide by this... though... looking at his bowling score again, he could have gotten the same righty. Crisis averted.

(As a final note, Lefties for Obama is a political group that I believe forfeits the right to free speech. Pun intended.)

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Monday, April 21, 2008

It Comes Back. Moral Outrage Always Comes Back

Chicago Transit Authority, shame on you! It is one thing to listen to a bunch of conniving, power-hungry media moguls but...

I lost where I was going with that. I'm sure I'll remember my moral outrage later.

Google, Facebook, and Youtube walk into a bar and decide to merge. Everyone else in the bar drinks heavily

Facebook just added a chat application. We are yet another step toward National IDs and SkyNet.

Look me up though! I'm Eaglie Puppydogg!


Sunday, April 20, 2008

It's Passover Time Again, Or As We Call It in My Household, "Comedy Central Presents"

Yesterday was another Seder for me, but for the first time ever I got to wear a skullcap! Really, the one thing the Jewish people know how to do is dress.

And, even though it's late, here's a fun high school video I randomly found on YouTube! And by "randomly" I mean the girl hosting the Seder showed it to me.

(From Libby.)


Art Is an Imitation of Nature--Usually the Stupidest Parts of It

I really just thought modern art was cruel to ME.

(From Facebook--somewhere on that Godforsaken wasteland of a site.)


Saturday, April 19, 2008

Another Ultimate Sign of Adulthood

You know you've reached maturity and independence when your first check bounces.

I received a statement that my last check bounced and will incur a two-digit overdraw fee. Meaning my already late electric bill will be even later. Looking at the printout I had of the statement, the thought crossed my mind, "You'll be seeing a whole lot more of these, Mr. Professional Writer."

I called my landlord, who likes me by the way, and he told me not to worry much. The first bounced check is always stressful. Later in life, they'll just pass right through you, you'll be so used to them--he knows. Should I be worried that a landlord and Chicago Democratic Party leader told me that?

Next, I called the bank. After the very helpful message about Forest Park First National's amazing program and many different accounts, a very helpful teller named Linda (who sounded hot) answered.

I put on my best pout of a voice. I slumped down in my chair, pitifully enough to notice over the phone. I would go down in tears to get this fee removed.

I explained to Linda I did the math right. Through the last two years of checks from that account, it added up the same as when I first did the balance. I was triple-checking as we were speaking, so was there an extra hidden fee FP First National charged on my account? Did some of my money get loaned out? Did someone loan YOU my money to strip for them, Miss Hot-Voice?

She told me there shouldn't be any extra fees with my account type. I thanked her and said I'll investigate further. I can call back if I need anything, since I got her number ANYWAY.

Looking at the current balance again (with the overdraw fee included), I flipped out my TI-83 to see the discrepancy with what MY balance was--carry the two, don’t forget the point--"Twenty dollars exactly."

So the stripping teller is not out of the question, but I'll just have to bounce back from this. I'll pay closer attention next time, and I'll use the Marvin the Martian checks. And maybe a calculator.

Rudy Guiliani: Always a Bridesmaid

You've been posting about religion so much lately, Andy... well, the Pope's here now, why don't you marry him?

Actually, the way CNN's covering him, they might propose first.


Friday, April 18, 2008

Screw the Reds, Cincinnati, and Their Little Border-Town of a State!

After their fans get called obnoxious, the Cubs managers and players defend us. It almost makes me not want to boo them when they give up 8 runs in an inning.


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Last of the Nine Old Men, Ollie

I just received the news Ollie Johnston died, which kills me. Sure, I didn't know him, and I didn't know who he was until I got to know a few animators, but I knew his work all my life! Even a bone-deep cynic like me watched and loved a little rabbit's stuttering and a boy and bear's friendship. It was this man and eight others who made Disney what it was and what animation is today.

Thank you for all our childhoods, Ollie, Frank, Les, Woolie, John, Eric, Milt, Mark, and Ward.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tax Day!

Good thing I don't have an income!

Monday, April 14, 2008

So If We All Pledged a Dollar...

...we still wouldn't have enough to buy the Spindle. Here's to praying some other blog with a bigger readership comes up with this idea.

(Alerted to this by the Chicagoist.)


Sunday, April 13, 2008

Keep That Tab and Phone Number around

Flickr makes the world go 'round, and so do classifieds on lightpoles.

(From rdtj23.)


In literary news...

They really are wonderful creatures.

(Again, Cute Overload.)

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Sometimes, You Just Wanna Grab and Hug Something

Or somethings.

Peace on earth, baby.

(Cute Overload posted this, as always, before me.)

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Saturday, April 12, 2008

This Is from Andy:

"Big news!"


The Metro Sucks Anyway

I so wanna be at the Papal Mass! And I wouldn't let Eaglie steal any hats or wafers, and he has to watch this PSA for the DC Metro beforehand.

But he might not have gotten to see it if it wasn't for YouTube (it's always "for YouTube" these days). Apparently some Catholics are upset by this ad. Latin mass? Pope merchandise? I don't see the problem.

(Thanks to the not-pissy Catholic blogosphere, specifically the Ironic Catholic.)


Friday, April 11, 2008

The Audacity of Despair.Com

Searching for demotivational posters is now a favorite pastime of mine. Like my new desktop wallpaper.

Like these baseball ones. Reminds me of a series the Cubs played with the Pirates... yesterday and the two days before that.

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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Regarding Eaglie's Last Post

You spelled "inadvertently" wrong, my friend. Next time, run it through Spellcheck AND me.

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Zero Punctuation Inadvertedly Said Something about This Weeks Ago

Honestly, can't I just do the same thing as this by watching YouTube?


Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Stephen King's Not a Videogame Developer!

But when Stephen King weighs in a subject and not a PEEP comes up about murderous, psychotic clowns, you know it's a done deal.

Also, you can come out from under your blankies. The bad men are gone.

(From Kotaku.)


For Some Jesuit Honor

The Ironic Catholic seems to have issued a challenge to Jesuit students everywhere. I know Eaglie probably won't want in on this, but I know he likes trolling anyway.

No, seriously, we don't want a fight. But the so-called Soldiers of Christ are no longer the iron-fisted rulers they are seen as! I mean, our saint and founder is a badass, but we're not mean about it anymore. Besides, rulers aren't the Jesuit style: they don't have any nuns to use them.

UPDATE - Oh dear Lord, I just checked the comments section of that Ironic Catholic post. Eaglie's started something.


Monday, April 07, 2008


It looks dark, mysterious, and unfunny, and, if it isn't funny, it probably won't be worth watching.

But we'll see anyway.

(From AICN.)


Sunday, April 06, 2008

I'm Excited, I Don't Know about You

Guess what I've got now! Not working perfectly, but we've got it! Really! Guess! Please! I'll give you a hint! Then you guess!

Subscribe to this RSS Feed now!

And barely with any help from my Tech Guy!


I Might Have to Start Illegally Downloading SNL Episodes Again!

I cannot beat the roll SNL is on right now, especially what it said about this news story (by Seth Meyers on Weekend Update):

"And Germany manages to out-German itself."

Saturday, April 05, 2008

In Hell, Chariots Carrying Michael Moore Chase After You

Charlton Heston died, and I can't come up with ONE snide pop culture reference.

(From the Tribune Alert service.)


I Have One, Too! It's, "MMMMMMMM!"

Cracked has insulted Chicago best hot dogs' honors. In hilarious fashion.

My List of Life Goals

This Weezer video illustrates three points about fame:

1. You know you've made it in life when you perform with Muppets.
2. You know you've made it in life when you are publicly hit on by Miss Piggy.
3. You know you've made it in comedy when you hide as a lamp with a shade over your head.

(Found at Cute Overload in this post's comments section. Thanks, Mary.)

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Friday, April 04, 2008

Where in the World Is Cameron?

That one on the left taught me Improv!

Your left!

(From The Bastion.)


Thursday, April 03, 2008

I'm Hearing You!

Just testify, sister! You're preaching to the choir, all these useless links, breaking pages! Testify! Testify!

(First link from The Onion sidebar, second link noted by Chicago Burdman, third link is from wherever you want it to be from.)


Shakespeare Zombie's Curtain Call?

But Isn't That a Good Thing, My Sweet?

I had to write this for another class to convince a partner to go to an event. But I convinced myself in the process.


In downtown Milwaukee this summer is a celebration of all things French and free! It's Bastille Day, that holiday of holidays, in the heart of an old German town. Instead of brats and beer, we'll have beignets and champagne!

It'll be a huge celebration, with streets flooded with people from everywhere trying to do everything. There's a parade, a mass, a run AND a walk (whichever speed you choose) and a mini Tour de France! Just don't take any steroids before that bike race!

Four stages at the festival will serenade and rock the crowds with any style imaginable--Cajun, zydeco, jazz, folk, world, and rock. Mimes, escape artists, belly dancers and other performers (sometimes with marionettes!) will color the streets. There are lessons in French and vendors bringing in everything a Frenchman could dream under his or her beret!

27th Annual Milwaukee Bastille Days festival
Cathedral Square Park in Milwaukee
July 10-12, Thursday-Saturday, 11 am to midnight
July 13, Sunday, 11 am to 9pm

I'm going, and you should join in.

Andy D.

I'm so impressionable.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

An Eagle Ray? This One's on You, Eaglie

Okay, this madness needs to stop. Otherwise I'll have to break out the ribbon again, for victims of ray attacks.


16-Inch, No Gloves: Chicago's Pasttime--That, and Losing

Since I get to go to a Cubs game later today, I have only one thing to post until the postgame: Royko at the Goat. That man was the finest Chicago writer to ever Chicago.

(From this site.)


Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Better Question Is If You're Rubber or Glue

You know, me and Andy didn't pull a real April Fools' joke this year. Lots of other people did. Yet Andy's priest hoax two years ago is hard to top (which we still need to repost in a new home, now that DOasis.com is officially dead).

The greatest existential question Andy ever posed to me happened a few minutes ago: if an April Fools' joke is an April Fools' joke, does it really exist or is it just an April Fools' joke?

Only a woodchuck could answer this.

Only Jerks Forget My Favorite Holiday

I totally forgot it was April Fool's Day yesterday! I'll remember to do something for it next time.