Eaglie's Aviary

Friday, December 31, 2004

Yes, it is almost the New Year. And c'mon... all of you know what time it is then: and it's not just apologizing for throwing up a gallon of cheap champagne on that cute girl or guy's shoes: it's time again for...


2004 was one of the most political years on record. Everyone talked politics, politics, politics, and a few of them lost teeth in the process.

Other people this year just stole money, lied about it, or lied about other people stealing the money. Bringing us to Martha Stewart. The woman that could make anything out of moldy banana peels and prison drapes finally got her chance to shine (perhaps a dress for someone cute in Cell Block G?). She was convicted of insider trading, which personally sounds more like a crime George Steinbrenner should be convicted of.

Hmmmm... George Steinbrenner? The Yankees' Crimelord/Owner? A fearless man, yes... but there is a man in his nightmares, a man that takes the title of second Horseman: Red Sox pitcher Curt Shilling! The Red Sox seriously won the World Series? Holy crap! They've been cursed for years by that pesky Bambino! Babe Ruth is rolling in his grave right now. If only the Cubs could win the pennant... then God would hit Ctrl+Alt+Del on the universe. Twice to reboot.

And yes, I said it was a political year. That's why our Third Horseman is Ralph Nader! The man didn't screw the Democrats this year (and the next four years)! They screwed themselves! Well... Ohio helped, too.

So, Happy New Year from Eaglie and the staff of Oasis Alliance Studios, and...

*** - these four awards go to the most deserving individuals (or political bodies, since I fudged my definition this time) who pushed us all just a LITTLE bit closer to our certain perilous dooms.

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Sunday, December 26, 2004

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
St. Claus: I have no idea, little Johnny!
Officer: The limit is 8 on this highway.
St. Claus: Eight?
Officer: Yes, eight!
St. Claus: But…
Officer: Don’t get smart with me! Eight tiny reindeer. But count… You clearly have a ninth.
St. Claus: I need my ninth. He lights the way on foggy Christmas Eves!
Officer: Don’t give me that, sir. Hand over your license.
St. Claus: Well… I don’t exactly… I hardly think this requires that much trouble, little Johnny!
Officer: No license?
St. Claus: Well, little Johnny, I could get you that Red Ryder you always wanted when you were a little boy!
Officer: What’s that I smell?
St. Claus: Um… mistletoe.
Officer: Comes in nice little baggies these days, doesn't it?

Merry Christmas (or Merry Day After, from Eaglie)!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Eaglie versus the Claus: Round 2

EaglieHappyToo: Santa?
SantaClaus: Hey. You're back. Cool.
You know the deal. Type menu.
EaglieHappyToo: I have a special request
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
EaglieHappyToo: Fine, I'll play it your way
EaglieHappyToo: menu
SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa
2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
3 - Track a Shopping List
4 - Play Xmas Hangman
5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
7 - Send E-Cards
8 - Listen to Xmas Music
9 - A Free Gift 4U!

EaglieHappyToo: 1 fine list there, Santa
SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
EaglieHappyToo: Could you possibly finish my papers for me? I have a really long Honors paper due in about 9 hours, and I haven't slept for a while
SantaClaus: Well, I doubt that's all!

What else do you want for Christmas?

EaglieHappyToo: Seriously? Well... you could make my finals run smoother
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
EaglieHappyToo: How 'bout you give all my teachers bribes to give me A's
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty, why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song?
EaglieHappyToo: Wow, that was way easy

SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
EaglieHappyToo: sure
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
EaglieHappyToo: I lent out an X-Box controller that wasn't really mine
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.

SantaClaus: Ho Ho Ho! Back for more? What else tops your list for Christmas?
EaglieHappyToo: Finish bribing those teachers?
SantaClaus: What else is at the top of your list?
EaglieHappyToo: That's... pretty much it
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
EaglieHappyToo: A cup of coffee to get me through the night?

Monday, December 06, 2004

Eaglie versus The Claus: Part 1

EaglieHappyToo: Hola
SantaClaus: Hey. Its you again. You spreading that Christmas spirit?
EaglieHappyToo: Yes
SantaClaus: Excellent! Don't forget to come back here on Dec 22. for your free gift!. Now, to get to the fun, type menu.
EaglieHappyToo: I've been naught
SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
EaglieHappyToo: menu
SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:

1 - Tell Santa
2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
3 - Track a Shopping List
4 - Play Xmas Hangman
5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
7 - Send E-Cards
8 - Listen to Xmas Music
9 - A Free Gift 4U!

EaglieHappyToo: 1
SantaClaus: OK -- so this is like when you sat on my lap as a youngster and told me what you wanted. We can talk about shopping and all that after we're finished here. So play along, it will be fun!

What would your first Christmas wish be?

EaglieHappyToo: World Peace
SantaClaus: Peace and love to you and your loved ones this holiday season.

Is there anything else on your list?

EaglieHappyToo: I'm not asking for my own peace... I'm asking for World Peace
SantaClaus: It's very noble of you to wish for peace. Peace and love to you and your loved ones this holiday season.

What else would you like this year?

EaglieHappyToo: Yes, I know it's noble... but can you do anything about it? You know, like give the UN a remote for Dick Cheney's pacemaker?
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
EaglieHappyToo: Final?!
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty for Santa to go on. Why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song.
EaglieHappyToo: Hey buddy...
SantaClaus: Hello again little one! (When you are over 1600 years old, you only see children every where you look. )
EaglieHappyToo: I was just talking to you!
SantaClaus: If you want to try something else, you can take a sneak-peek at the TO-DO list the elves have left for me by typing, well, menu.
EaglieHappyToo: Hey, have you done anything about that Palestine situation?
SantaClaus: Hello again. I hope you are getting in the Christmas spirit. The big day is getting very close!
EaglieHappyToo: ...
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit
EaglieHappyToo: No music, please
SantaClaus: Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.
EaglieHappyToo: music?
SantaClaus: Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit more than holiday music! Here's where I'm starting to gather my inspiration: Pop Holiday Radio@Netscape
EaglieHappyToo: Can you still get me World peace?
SantaClaus: It's true that our world is often full of turmoil and sadness. Try to remember that there is a lot of good too. Think about how so many people pull together to help those who are less fortunate. May peace be with you this year.
EaglieHappyToo: Can't argue with that
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
EaglieHappyToo: World peace?
SantaClaus: I think world peace is at the top of a lot of lists this year. Peace be with you, my friend.
EaglieHappyToo: So, it's impossible, right?
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
EaglieHappyToo: Do something about Palestine... or Iraq... or something
SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.
EaglieHappyToo: sigh...
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
EaglieHappyToo: Yes
SantaClaus: Have you set up a Wish List for others to see?
EaglieHappyToo: No... I just want peace, dammit!
SantaClaus: OK, type WL and follow the instructions -- you can set up your own WL for others to see and see any AIM user's who has left a WL with me!
EaglieHappyToo: GRRRRRR
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
EaglieHappyToo: I sure
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
EaglieHappyToo: I'm sure
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
EaglieHappyToo: ::sarcasm alert!::
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.
EaglieHappyToo: What?!
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
EaglieHappyToo: What's Mrs. Claus' screenname?
SantaClaus: I can't tell you her first name, because she prefers to be called Mrs. Claus.
EaglieHappyToo: I meant her screenname... does it happen to be SmarterChild?
SantaClaus: Yes!!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

The Order of the Flowers of Happiness has returned! It is a beautiful, Happy day when such things happen. I will be posting most of my adventures in picture stories on the new website I'm building with the help of my good old friend, Andy the Tech Guy. The whole storyline of my turn to sadness and evil, then back to Happiness, will come along with that!

In the meantime, my good friend Patunia (always a Flower) joined up with the Flowers during Open Beta. Check that out (if you haven't already)!