Eaglie's Aviary

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

As a continuing voice against the Apocalypse, I present you with today's Mr. Boffo.

Today, I'm going to introduce you to one of the first bloggers. Most people would guess it was someone in 1994 or so, but actually, it's a good bit earlier. The name of the man is Samuel Pepys. There's actually a new blog dedicated to putting his work online (though so far, they haven't gotten to the "Deb Willet" incident).

Pepys worked for the British government, mostly the Duke of York and the King, as an administrator. Why would his blog be important? It happens to contain information on the Great London Fire, as well as details written in Queen's English (and sometimes Spanish) about his sex life. Pick up the part about the Deb Willet incident sometime. It mostly occurs in 1668. I promise you won't be disappointed.

The Pepys Now Project is a project to make modern bloggers as everlasting in history as Pepys. However, there are some difficulties trying to become as wildly popular as Pepys. First off, Pepys was as dirty as they get in the Restoration period ("my main in her cunny" is the highlight of this fact). Next, he worked for a guy that was titled "The Earl of Sandwich" at some point. (3) His own name is pronounced "Peeps." So, I really doubt you'll be as important, especially with the market saturated like it is.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Today just seems like a cute day.

Monday, August 28, 2006

This link had me falling in love in no time... just after the long download, of course.

You know, I followed a link to some news (which was very intriguing, let me tell you), and I found something more saddening to me. As a lover of founding myths and legends, I demand something to be done.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

As all my scientifically-literate readers know by now, Pluto has disappeared off the chart of planets in this solar system. I hope the scientific community knows what you're doing. A whole lot of Bill Nye episodes just became obsolete because of what you guys did.

Goodbye, Pluto. You were the Pizza and the Pancakes my eager mother served us... served us all.

And now, as with any fitting Internet tribute, the correct YTMND is played.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Wow. Closing in on the schoolyear... however, I think this will be a great one, since Andy's taking less classes, and he'll subsequently be able to let me out of my cage more often. It's getting awfully dirty in here.

Ha ha! Just a bit of fun! But seriously, Andy, how the hell did you get to take classes where you're reading the works of CS Lewis... JRR Tolkien... and you read Beowulf! And then, what about the other awesome class, with Euripides as well as All Quiet on the Western Front, The Killing Zone, and The Peloppenesian War?

Awesomepossum job, Andy. Almost as good as last semester's readings of Jon Stewart, Lenny Bruce, and Aristophanes.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Top 12 Man Vs. Beast(s) Films

Monday, August 21, 2006

Another Attack of the Building Light Coordinators

This time, they're Russian.

Darth Vader Being a Smartass

What the...

No wonder students in other countries are so far ahead of us.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

R.I.P. Unpatriotic Amerikan's blog. There are now few left standing with Eaglie against the Darkness... The Rambler Robert Fernandez and Cornered Pacman.

We stand resolute.

Friday, August 18, 2006

It's Your Solemn Duty as a Blogger to Review Snakes on a Plane

Good prediction.

Now, some of you are probably wondering... did Eaglie see it? Did he really see it first day?

Yep. 10pm on Thursday actually. I have to tell you, it's a terrible movie. Predictable, badly acted, terrible premise, and cheesy (it's not exactly that sarcastic cheesy that Army of Darkness and other such movies reach for).

Did I say "terrible premise?" I meant best premise ever. The premise is stated in the title, and all you need to know is Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Die Hard: With a Vengeance, Unbreakable) and Keenan Thompson (Good Burger) are in the film.

Now, spoilers. Inviso-text, on! Highlight with your cursor to read: Anyway, some badass Bruce Lee-ish mobster is trying to kill a witness to a murder, and he decides to do it by releasing poisonous snakes in a plane. Later, Samuel L. Jackson's character dies. Sorry, didn't mean to put that there. I guess I could still go back and edit that, but whatever. The first deaths, by the way, are the most ridiculous. The first death is actually of a couple having sex in the airline bathroom. When the girl's shirt came off (revealing exactly why the guy was with her instead of someone more pretty, intelligent, and funny), we really didn't know exactly what would happen. Oh, we knew they were dead. We knew they were dead when we saw them sit down in their seats for the first time. But I guess the snake wanted the same things from that girl as the human guy did.

It continues with plenty of bad deaths. The bite on the tongue and the boa constrictor ones comes to mind. And you have to wait for the "last snake." After all the snakes were dead, and the plane is safely landed, you just know there has to be a last snake. And there is.

By now, everyone's heard the line. You know the one. My theater gave it a standing ovation. Actually, my theater was one of the most raucous rooms I've ever been in. Cheering and laughing was pretty non-stop. And many snake/penis jokes were made (by us, the audience). It was a whole-theater version of MST3K, just good bit less witty.

And, so, as that one person in my link at the top of this post said, this has changed marketing forever. The Internet, once thought of as a potent tool, is now proven to be a potent tool. The blogosphere and the forums did more than any simple advertisement. They brought people together to scream and laugh and be jackasses while eating their popcorn.

By the way, the ending is awful. But still laughable. In that way, it's pretty much an avant-garde sum-up of the movie.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A new political test! And it's @#$^@#@ short!

Have a look where I scored.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

You know you're a nerd if you post this.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The power of the blogosphere is undeniable. Now, to figure out how to be a popular, heavily-trafficked part of it.

Step 1: Updating daily again.

Step 2: Agitating and fomenting revolution, right or left (I'll let my current readers vote on which side!).

Thursday, August 10, 2006

In case you missed the Washington Post article, here it is:

YTMND'ers are artists...

...and the reaction.

Friday, August 04, 2006

This is gonna be a good year for my Horsemen choices, I know it.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

More breaking news... somewhat upsetting this time, too.


"...and you are the kind of person who likes REALLY wild street parties, you want to get to Miami now." ~Dave Barry

So, Castro's finally taking a rest and stepping aside (which in all truth, I didn't expect to happen in my lifetime. Really.). He deserves it. But you know what else he's won? An all-expense-U.S.-paid vacation to Lebanon!