Eaglie's Aviary

Friday, September 29, 2006

I discovered that Statler and Waldorf, the mean critics of Muppets fame, have a show, Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony. Personally, I hate them. Booo!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

3 Girls. 1 Gigolo.

One of the more fun advertising games I've found.

By the way, screw the others... I want Keri!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Halo Wars, posted about in the post just below this one, will be a game of epic proportions. There's even a trailer for it out already.

The game takes place over a period spanning years before Master Chief's battle with the Covenant on the first Halo is revealed in Halo: Combat Evolved. It is an RTS by Ensemble Studios, and as such, there will be four ages: the Easy Age, Normal Age, Heroic Age, and Legendary Age.

Not much is known yet, but we're suspecting the Legendary Age will bring us the Super Elites, Hunters, and Spartans we've been waiting to play with (a squad of Spartans is really what we've all wanted to use against a Zerg rush all this time, haven't we?). We already know the Covenant will need to have cloaking abilities (if you couldn't have Active Camo, it wouldn't be Halo), but it remains to be seen what will counter this. Perhaps the firepower will be on the side of Humanity, and the Covenant will need to rely on rushing with Grunts, or maybe even some Jackals. Personally, I really can't wait to see Mass Elites cloaked and swiping their swords at human villagers SCVs miners.

It also remains to be proven that a decent RTS can be made for a console. Halo and Ensemble Studios, we believe in you.


Ensemble Studios, makers of the Age of Empires and Age of Mythology series, has begun a new project for XBOX360: Halo Wars, a real-time strategy game based on the Halo universe.

When was the last time someone made a decent, non-ported RTS game for a console?

Setting aside my cynical thoughts on consoles, I guess I should try to coin a "Can't Stop the Signal"-esque tagline for the game.

"Thumb the Fight?" "Grunt Rush?" "X, X, Y to Zerg?"

Later tonight, we'll look at a more comprehensive spoofinvestigation of Halo Wars.


Monday, September 25, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006

It really upset me to find out that I had to be a Swiss citizen to be a member of the Swiss Guard.

Friday, September 22, 2006

I Post of the Awesome Power of Wikipedia, #1

Also, I'm starting a new feature for whenever I feel like it and don't feel like being witty, the "Daily" Power Vocabulary Post! Or, even better, a "The Awesome Power of Wikipedia" Post!

Today's featured article is about a Greek phrase which means "A word only used once ever," roughly. The word is hapax legomenon, and apparently it is the source of many giggles in Classics departments! Unfortunately, the ancient Greeks still don't know why we're all laughing at them.


Just as an intriguing coincidence, I started rereading Lord of the Rings today, reading the first chapter so far, "A Long Expected Party." Now, if you know exactly why this was a coincidence, you should burn the Magic: The Gathering cards you're holding right now.
Hint: it has to do with the date today, and the birthdates of two "obbitays" by the names of "Rodofay" and "Ilbobay." And the date is Emptembersay Enty-secondtway.

Again, completely a coincidence.

Can They Make a "Druish Princess" comment?

Spaceballs: THE CARTOON!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I present you a trailer for 300, Frank Miller's version of the Battle of Thermopylae, probably one of the most badass battles in history, and also one of the most exaggerated about (probably). However, it's tough, when you read about it, to not believe Western civilization was saved by the actions of these men, saved to go on and destroy many other further west civilizations.

O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde
keimetha tois keinon rhémasi peithomenoi. Zing.

"Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by,
that here, obedient to their laws, we lie. Zing."*

*- From Wikipedia, "Battle of Thermopylae"

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

It be over, but tain't never fergot!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

TLAP 2006 Morn!


Monday, September 18, 2006

TLAP's Eve 2006

Here we be at th'eve of th'great ballywagger, and I 'ope, matey, that ya be ready!


Sunday, September 17, 2006

A New, More Corn-Filled Language

The earliest example of writing from the New World was discovered recently. The makers were Olmec (yes, Legends of the Hidden Temple enthusiasts, have your nerdgasms, then realize that your childhood was a sham and the Olmecs were an indigenous people to the Americas... not a smarmy talking stone head). Up until now, scientists and linguists have been completely stumped on the meanings of all the symbols... as I said, up until now...

Until now!

Here's a rough sketching of all the symbols:

Image stolen from NPR, by the way, but they stole it from the scientists, who stole it from the Silver Snakes, so whatever.

Now, you can see it looks like a bunch of bugs, ice cream cones, and corn stalks. And you would be right. They do seem to be those things. So, why, up until now, haven't archaeologists and linguists taken a practical approach and just decided, the hell with it, maybe these symbols mean exactly what they look like?

Because archaeologists and linguists wouldn't get paid as much anymore, that's why.

But don't worry. Ol' Eaglie'll take the approach you all know is right.

The first symbol is a bug. Makes sense. There are a lot of bugs in the rainforests where this tablet comes from. Next, we see something on a stick. It may be a flower, it may be a Dreamsicle, or it may be an Ace of Spades. I'm really not sure. We'll come back to this one.

So, we have a spikey-looking fruit, possibly corn. We'll go with the rought translation: "The Bugs... spikey fruits." By the power of deduction, the Bugs must have eaten the corn. "The Bugs ate spikey fruits." However, I am willing to bet in a game of Sacrifice-your-opponents-to-your-Chosen-Deity that we're missing something here. Perhaps there's a possessive in there! "The Bugs ate our spikey fruits" makes a lot more sense! Just like plagues of locusts!

At this point, it seems like the end of a line of symbols, since these three seem detached from the fourth, so we'll chisel in our own period. These people really needed to watch their punctuation.

Next, there's a torch, maybe on a watchtower. After that, is a block, with a line through it. Must be a verb. Say, "to light." "The Watchtowers lit..."

Next, a block with two curls at the ends... adverb. We'll say, "lightly," since the picture seems so amazingly close to the picture beforehand. "The Watchtowers lit lightly." Add period. Jeez, now I know why scientists take years to do this.

Next, we see a pineapple with a spoiler on top...

How about I skip to the end product?

The Bugs ate our spikey fruits. The watchtowers lit lightly. The Pineapple people warned Chieftain Splat. Jellyfish Snowcone. Bales of carrots were stored with more carrots. Storage houses however were empty of snow. Bugs ate it, the People and Splat knew. Saws lightly jellyfished until bad carrots were made good again. STORAGE! STAIRS! Lightly ate the People. These are Pineapple People (in case you've forgotten), and they warned of the bales and stairs not being good enough for carrots, lots more carrots. Bugs knew and ate spikey fruits Splat said, and jellyfish and carrots would not substitute for spikey fruits. Warned good were the Tribe of the Snow.

I assume these "Pineapple People" referred to themselves as "Snowcones" and "Tribe of the Snow." Then, this makes a whole lot more sense.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Many of you know that Macy's has now taken over the space Marshall Field's once resided, now in name as well as its control of the business (as of last Saturday). Many Chicagoans are upset. Quite upset. They think New York should stay the hell in New York and stop invading Chicago.

I don't know exactly what Macy's plans to accomplish, but here's to hoping that damned New York institution gets starved into making sense. Maybe they'll bring back our beloved overly expensive Field's!

And if you say this is ironic just a day after writing, with solemness, about the fifth anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, you're a tiny bit right.

Der Fuhrer's Face

Gotta love Disney.

Monday, September 11, 2006

And for those of you thinking I made up all that about Socrates being so unfunny, you should really read Plato's Republic.

Today's September 11th, and I think you know what that means: eight more days until Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Though, it's also apparently the 5th anniversary of that fateful day that I got an English quiz back that was a "C."

As you can see, I'm not much for sentimentality (at least in writing). Humor requires a certain amount of Stoicism (not too much... otherwise, you become Socrates, who, in his day, happened to be the least funniest person in Athens... all the late night comedians made fun of his inability to handle a joke) combined with a critical eye and the ability to see connections between unlike things (pop modern culture and Socrates, for example). Since I intend this blog to be satirical, humorous, and sometimes shockingly untruthful, I don't write much on tragedy. I gave Katrina a bit of blogtime, but that was because... well... it was because Bush doesn't care about black people.

Or maybe he does. I just don't care anymore. All I care about is giving people a bit of catharsis in their daily lives. Find what's wrong and satirize it.

So, I suppose, here's to a solemn or at least less jubilant day of memorial, September 11th.

Friday, September 08, 2006

No one ever thought this would be a useful page, did they?

Hmmm, an uprising against Facebook? Facebook's changes are making news. Albeit, it's news in St. Paul (was there ever a more useless twin city?), but it's news in a newspaper.

My own feelings? It's nice to be able to track one's own actions (the news feed on your own page), but the main page feed of everyone's actions is a bit much. I prefer to do my stalking with a bit more secrecy and on a higher difficulty level. The News Feed is just E-Z-MODE.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I suppose this will be my official final day of mourning for Steve the Croc Hunter. It's time to move on and continue my own adventures, as the Eaglie, the Ranger-Crusader of Happiness.

Back in the day, we tried to create a picture story in EQ based on the crocodiles in the Oasis of Marr. It was gonna be "Wolfie the Croc Hunter" while I was planning on doing some other projects (possibly a Western story).

But, some interesting stuff about the man himself to read for now.

Or, if you don't care anymore, then just think about George Ryan, the ex-governor of Illinois, who got 6 1/2 years in prison today for various scandals. 'cause that's just bad, no laughing about it, really.


Monday, September 04, 2006

2nd Day of Mourning

The comedic icon of my sophomore year of high school has passed on. God rest ye... mate.