Eaglie's Aviary

Thursday, November 26, 2009

What Came First? The Giving or the Thanks?

So I'll give and thank together:

I am thankful for unripped flannel PJs;
" " " " coffee to start the day.
" " " " Channel Nine parades;
" " " " their cute reporter babes.
" " " " my dinner of gobblers;
" " " " you fixing boots, cobblers;

Hey, I'm the poet: I rhyme anything,
So it won't go anywhere, complaining!
(This is the pentametrical bridging.)

I am thankful for not marching ill;
" " " " another coffee refill.
" " " " the Christmas El cheering;
" " " " any other train working.
" " " " heading home at the last minute;
" " " " heading home in just a... minute!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, from the Internet (and by proxy, e.e. cummings)!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Scrubbing Bubbles of Free Speech

Dubbed free speech zones by some newspapers, bubbles by others, there is widespread agreement from a minority of screaming anti-abortion activists: it's an affront to free speech. And I agree. This new Chicago ordinance infringes on First Amendment rights of people. Not all anti-abortion activists like to kill clinic workers. Just most of them.

I have a solution though: classify the protesters as cigarettes.

You might say, "That's a whole 7 feet less free speech!" And yeah, it is. But free speech doesn't apply to cigarettes.

15 feet would give protesters plenty of room to shout at the abortion clinics. All they have to do is shout louder now. They're free to do that much, and I know they can. At the same time, it allows clinic workers to feel safe, especially after the Surgeon General's Warnings are tattooed on all the protesters. It's only a safety precaution.

It's much easier to reclassify something we don't like than to pile more laws on top of it. Fewer messy Supreme Court visits and fewer accusations of bigotry. Plus, the Chicago City Council can slap a few taxes on the protesters, too. It's a win-win situation for the city and the budget.

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veterans Are Like Onions...

...they're bloomin'!

Outback Steakhouse is offering free Bloomin' Onions and a coke for all veterans out there. Applebee's is offering free dinner. You'll have to hurry up though, as there's only an hour left to reap the rewards of your sacrifices, veterans!

It was the least we could do.

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Whoa, Strange Dream

Did anyone notice an election yesterday? Or was I just sick with deja vu?

Virginia and New Jersey get GOP governors! Democrats wins the New York 23rd District due to moderate Republicans getting smacked around by the looming birther/tea-party-enthusiast alliance! New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg wins (again)! A sci-fi show insults Obama (kinda)! The Right swallows its own tail (definitely)!

I'll go with "none of the above": I just received a bit of head trauma and don't remember the head trauma.

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