Eaglie's Aviary

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Vampires Would Appear to Have Denser Skulls Than Movies Make Them Appear

We've found an interview from a ways back with the newly indicted, former head of the Transylvanian-American Alliance, Vlad "Rod" Blagojevich.

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(The rest is here.)

When contacted for a cross-interview with us, the ex-governor hissed and ran.

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Monday, October 26, 2009

It's Less than a Week Until Halloween!

Hope you already have your costume! And have a good meal planned!

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Mr. Obama Wins a Peace Prize

The honeymoon for President Barack Obama and Europe is not over after all.

It's been a week since our President received arguably the most prestigious honor a person can get in this world. The mentality in Norway might be seen as, "Quick! Award him a prize before he screws something else up!" But according to the Nobel committee, it was "for [Obama's] extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. [And for being nice to us again.]"

Backlash was immense. Conservatives cackled as liberals struggled to describe the achievements of the president. Most fell back on the argument that the peace prize is not an achievement award, and that it would motivate Obama to do something.

Then the conservatives remembered that this award meant that, not only does the world still think the president is the coolest kid on the world playground (even though they didn't give him the Olympics), Barack Obama gets to kiss a lot more girls than them.

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Monday, October 05, 2009

For All of You that Lost Money Based on My Olympic Odds

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Our Olympic Chances, Part 2

Tomorrow is the big day, and I was thinking, "Is the Chicago 2016 bid that great?" Of course it is. Just look at our marketing team:

Motto: This switched from the poignant "Stir the Soul" to "Let Friendship Shine" and the even more stirring "Candidate City" motto due to translation issues. The former motto stirred up more intestines than animus, so I understand changing it in other languages... but couldn't we use a different motto in the U.S. Maybe the original motto? Other countries change American movie titles all the time to fit their non-English. Can't we just do the reverse and not make ourselves look like 90s afternoon public television?

Logo: The Sears Tower burned as the Olympic torch--but that broke a few international rules. So now we have a Chicago-flag-lookalike star, hoping to make it on the flag in a few years.

Miscellaneous: No one can forget the Chicago Dolphin! We await the Danes' reaction to our semi-aquatic mammals.

If none of these have swayed them, nothing will with Decision Day tomorrow. Of course, I'll be in California, watching the results, far, far away from Rio's retaliations or Rich Daley's wrath.

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