Finally have the logo done! Now to link it in a million places!

Labels: Sports

Andy is such a nerd that he's been reading this. Not like he could ever get a job knowing things like that. It's much easier to get a blogging job, I hear.

There's rioting, firebombing, and riot shields, but that's just the Middle East. In Wrigleyville, it's a little more subdued. A little.

CUBS CLINCH THE NL CENTRAL!

And almost without winning a game! Thank you, Padres' Greg Maddux, for helping out your old team (probably more than you could've helped when playing for said team.

We're in... now we need to win: the Cubs Playoff Huntwatch continues. I haven't even finished the graphic yet!

Labels: Sports

C'mon! Another loss? Cubs, you're lucky the Brewers suck now. Really lucky. And if you say, "In my experience, there is no such thing as luck," just believe the Cubs have the Force.

A baseball epic is in the making: question is, are we facing Grendel, his mother, or the dragon? That makes a difference.

Labels: Sports

You know, I've always thought that thing looked like it had more uses.

(Submitted by Magz.)

By the way, Andy says the blog's color changes are for the Cubs' Playoff Huntwatch. We're working on more, but we're lazy right now, and Andy has a lot of homework.

I still like rolling that word around on my tongue. Huntwatch. HUNTwatch. HuntWATCH. HUNTWATCH. HUNTWATCH. HUNTWATCH. Huntwatch.

Labels: Sports

Andy! You posted down there! I forgot you even blogged anymore!

You know, blogging all the time is hard work. You might be saying, "Andy! You don't blog anyway! It's your partner Eaglie who blogs! But I'm the brains behind this whole five-and-a-half-year endeavor, and you can't deny that! All the layout stuff? I did that (including a semi-finished layout upgrade I'm doing).

Back to the subject at hand: blogging gets you into trouble, usually not with the law, but with professional life. Some people complain about getting in trouble from their companies for blogging about work life. For some reason, this stuff doesn't stay private. Of course, the companies have all the right to fire someone who doesn't use any pseudonyms! Ha ha! While I don't use a pseudonym at all and mostly leave the blogging up to Eaglie, the main reason I'm lucky is I don't have a job that requires employee discipline... no job to speak of, really.

However, this stuff all got me into trouble in a way I never thought possible. Here I am, looking to be an editor on a class magazine... something for the portfolio, and because I'm a "blogger for over five years," I get that job instead of an editing job like I wanted! So there goes my portfolio. Instead, I get yet another mark to my resume that says "blogger." Lovely. No one cares.

Oh well. Time to figure out how to coordinate it all. Blogspot or Wordpress is the question.

The day at MIT and Harvard got a li'l crazy.

UPDATE! More evidence.

(Found through Digg.)

Labels: Gaming

Since we mentioned Kotaku: when did economists become more nerdy?

Labels: Gaming

This upsets me. Not morally, just financially.

(Found on Kotaku.)

Labels: Gaming

Dubs and I just spent three hours in Halo 3 figuring out how to catch someone in midair on the passenger platforms of the Hornet gunship.

I have a feeling this semester will not be long enough.

Labels: Gaming

And I'm sick. Not of it. It's sick, don't get me wrong. I'm just sick, fever-sick. So I have to go to bed.

Earth can survive 'til morning.

Labels: Gaming

Waiting since freshmen year... time to Finish the Fight. Halo 3 is almost in our house!

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

I hope Bungie choosing that quote won't mean there won't be ANY bangs!

Labels: Gaming

Another Marceau tribute!

Some Tribune writers have a lot of time on their hands... not that I mind reading it.

I can't bring myself to do the" moment of silence, please" joke, 'cause every other blog will have done it by the end of the day.

AICN did this tribute.

THAT was classy, for a classy man. As Charlie Chaplin said, "Words seem so futile."

From: "Stacy Sherwood" 9mer@d41.dupage.k12.il.us
Monday - September 24, 2007 5:14 AM
To: (DELETED)
Subject: It is me

Hello! I am tired tonight. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at zt@NearOut.info only, because I am writing not from my personal email. Don't miss some of my naughty pictures.

The oddity of this is that the email address this was sent from is government-run... Dupage County-Illinois Board of Education (K-12), to be exact.

I think someone needs to do an audit of their system!

Also, here's an interesting idea pulled from a forum. It's from a guy with the handle of Dresden Codak, and was brought to my attention by loyal reader Alex. I'll post the full text as well as I can here, in case the forum post disappears:

Guys, it's time for

Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day

You must spend the entire day in costume and character. The only rule is that you cannot actually tell anyone that you are a time traveler. Other than that, anything's game.

There are three possible options:

1) Utopian/cliché Future - "If the Future did a documentary of the last fifty years, this is how badly the reenactors would dress." Think Star Trek: TNG or the Time Travelers from Hob. Ever see how the society in Futurama sees the 20th century? Run with it. Your job is to dress with moderately anachronistic clothing and speak in slang from varying decades. Here are some good starters:

- Greet people by referring to things that don't yet exist or haven't existed for a long time. Example: "Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?" "What spectrum will today's broadcast be in?" and "Your king must be a kindly soul!"

- Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.

2) Dystopian Future - This one offers a little more flexibility. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Freejack. The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they've gone back in time. Some starters:

- If you go the "prisoner who's escaped the future" try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you've never seen it before.

- Walk up to random people and say "WHAT YEAR IS THIS?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off.

- Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOOOOO"

- Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.

- Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say "In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that." Then slip away.

2) The Past - This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture's set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers:

- Airplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while.

- Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic grocery doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.

- Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and shorts on women are especially scary.

And that's it. Remember, the only real rule is staying in character and try to fit in. Never directly admit you're a time traveler, and make really, really bad attempts at keeping a low profile. Naturally, the dystopian future has a little more leeway. And for the record, I've already tried out all of these in real life, in costume. It is so much fun you want to pee yourself.

I've set the tentative date for December 8th. Who's in?

MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Alex put it, "how long until that term starts appearing in film books?"

(Submitted by rdtj23.)

I CAN HATH CHEEZBURGER?

(Sent by Pacman, and I probably was told about earlier by TBA.)

Since we're on the subject of Chicago stuff, check out this blogger's post about Google Earth. I love the Earth... such a sense of humor.

I went to a Cubs game on Friday, and we won 13-8. That makes my record for games 4-5 for the year. Winning percentage: .444, my best record since 2003 (when we almost made it to the World Series (which, for the lifelong Cubs fan, is pretty normal). Are my Cubs for real?

The game I went to on Friday had Dutchie Caray singing the Seventh Inning Stretch with a recording of the last time Harry Caray sang. Now, I'm not normally an emotional person: I leave that to Andy, the friggin' crybaby. But I fought back tears... Harry Caray was the voice of mine and Andy's childhoods.

Of course, Andy was bawling with his arm around me. Wimp.

So, now begins Aviary's Cubs Playoff Huntwatch. The division is almost ours, and now it's time to make the push. Playoff tickets are ridiculously expensive, and while it's my dream to see a playoff game in Cubs Park, paying $250+, kinda tough. But someday.

Anyway, welcome to the Cubs Playoff Huntwatch, a name I created two minutes ago for the fourth paragraph of this post. Still working on the logo for it.

Labels: Sports

Personally, my favorite part is the distinguishing part of the URL: odd_onion_assault.

Also, while not many participated that I met, the online community's TLAP Day 2007 was amazing.

Kudos especially to meebo, a browser-based IM program that allowed me to type "pirateon" and "pirateoff" for auto-pirate lingo! While it took some of the invention away, that didn't stop me from laying pirate lingo on auto-pirate lingo!

Tehehe. "Auto-pirate."

I mean, yar har har!

But every day seems boring just after someone's been tased publicly.

Googling myself (Eaglie), I always discover new and interesting stalkers

For example, look down at the E section at this site.

Eaglie(EE-glee) - This Pokemon is purely based off of the Bald Eagle and its name is nothing special. =P It's about 2 feet in length and is quite an attention hogger. It will only listen to a mother or father figure for different things. It's complicated upbringing make it a pain in the neck to train. PDex Snip - "Eaglie, the Eaglet Pokemon. This Flying and Dragon Pokemon is very sensitive and needy. For this Pokemon to survive, it needs both a mother and father figure in its life, each parent having a specific duty that it will only listen to them for."

I am a Pokemon, plain and simple, and I didn't know it.

I be discoverin'... less people are int'this thing aroun' me than I'd like. All should walk th'plank, I say, the whole lot.

An' now, I give ye me own sea shanty, courtesy me, Funnybone McSeadog. I think ye need to make up yer own music if'n ye want some, though:

On the open seas,
ye be a pirate
Or a merchant.
Maybe ye be a
soldier 'r sailor
f'r His Majesty,
Fighting some buckos.
Or be ye a whale?
But whatever ye be,
Ye all have a bit
of the salty sea
pumping in yer veins
and one BAC
to match it, damn all.
That be why we drink
the finest of all,
Figurehead Runner Rum!
Look fer the mermaid:
not just on the cork...
It be the whole cork!

Figurehead Runner Rum! Finer than Kerosene!
Figurehead Runner Rum! Finer than Kerosene!
Figurehead Runner Rum! Finer than Kerosene!

Figurehead Runner Rum! Finest sea shanty an' earworm from back in th'day!

In non-piratical news, the city a'Chicago chose fer itself a new Olympic bid logo! I be a bit surprised there be no Chicago dolphins gracing it, lads, especially on such a seaworthy day! But I be talkin' nonsense! I like it!

Ahoy, mateys and matettes! Internat'nal Talk Like A Pirate Day is ag'in makin' herself known! Seems t'slink up'n us faster then th'Golden Hind cap'ned by th'Devil himself!

Prepaaaaare t'be boarded t'day or else prepaaaaare t'meet Davy Jones, an' he be a whole lot scarier than in th'movie!

So t'day, let go of yer worries, yer life, yer tests which sometimes are on phar(RRRRRRR)maceuticals or th'great Francis Drake... it be a day of merriment, and so go out'n fer grog an’ get three sheets t'th'wind. Enjoy a good jig, an' sing along 'r whistle at least, if'n ye be up fer it!

An' if ye be annoyed with me talk, go suck a orange. I hear it be good fer ye, scurvy dog!

-Funnybone McSeadog

A warm, salty ocean (Lake-effect) wind blows... the time draws nearer and nearer...

Tomorrow, remember: dead men tell no tales, unless they're reanimated men, I suppose.

Sally Field got censored at the Emmy Awards for commenting on the Iraq War. Which was a great choice, considering what network the program was run on (FOX). But she made some pointed comments about if women ran the world.

All I can say about that is, join the Anti-Suffrage Movement with me, Marie Jenney Howe, and Ann Coulter!

I'm told I use the word "satire" in common conversation too frequently. So I'm going to earn that.

Well, maybe not. Maybe it'll just be about humor, not satire... because satire is humor making a serious point.

(Sent by rdtj23. And as a bonus, try looking at this blog's "blogroll" on the side. HOLY SCHIZO, OBAMAMAN!)

Labels: Language

I took an alcohol consumption test on the advice of some Flowers. I agree with Bhauk's assessment: "why are so many people such pussies about drinking? what causes this"

And now, MY long-awaited results:

Based on your Responses:
It is likely that your current drinking patterns are hazardous or harmful to your health and well being. Your responses to the AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test) are in a range believed to be consistent with problems related to drinking. However, the AUDIT cannot diagnose any condition or tell you for certain if alcohol use is harming your health; rather, it is a screening test to determine the likelihood of problematic drinking, and thus whether you should seek further evaluation.

Many people are not aware of how their alcohol consumption compares to that of the general public. More than 88% of the general adult American population and 80% of men consume fewer drinks per week than you reported consuming.

Recommended Action:
Because your results indicate that your drinking patterns may be hazardous or harmful, consider seeking further evaluation from your doctor or other qualified health professional, who can help you determine if your alcohol consumption is adversely affecting your health or interfering with your work and relationships. You may also want to learn more about health problems related to drinking and ways to reduce your risk. The links below will assist you in locating a local health professional for further assistance, and in making well informed health decisions about alcohol.

Those percentages are really high! Guess I'm screwed for life. Better pack up and see a pediatrician...

Oh, right. Forgot I have a grownup's doctor now. Oh, well. Should be able to handle the news better.

Apparently, it's real.

(Thanks to rdtj23, who had this conversation with me: "They sound like jetson socks. Do they have rings? Like Jupiter?")

...your game's Meso-American city is named this:

Labels: Gaming

...a few days from now.

There is no other country but Japan where a high-ranking official will quit over "exhaustion." There is no other country where one needs to.

(Way to be topical and political on whole new levels, Eags! Go me!)

Labels: Politics

I... WAS... TRYING... TO MAKE... A POINT... ABOUT... COMMERCIALISM!!!

Speaking of Hell, nice September 11th post, you heartless bastard.

Andy, my little glasses-wearing hustler, if you're listening... I'll pay you when Hell freezes over.

The Chicago Transit Authority got some bailout from the state of Illinois. That means, no immediate bailout. It's like God deciding to hold off on that next 40-year flood. According to the Trib, the state's giving the CTA $24 million, which is maybe a third of what the CTA needs to pay off its budget. This means we'll have another hearing later. Is this similar to any other Bible stories, like where the one where Pilate holds off the hearing on Jesus (The Roman Empire v. Jesus of Nazareth) for 30 silver?

Eaglie, you liar. You totally didn't call it. I called it. You pay up. $13 on the spread.

I KNEW THEY'D USE THE SONG! PAY UP, ANDY, YOU CHEAP BASTARD!

In Chicago, the biggest mob case in recent memory--in fact, it's the only one in my memory--just wrapped up. Everyone's guilty, badabing. For details, hit up the Trib. or Sun-Times.

It's too bad. Joey ("The Clown") would've had a promising career in show business.

At last, they strike a blow for comedy!

From: "Seymour Church"
Saturday - September 8, 2007 2:09 AM
To:
Subject: Your friend is here

Hello! I am tired this evening. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at jzus@OnsetIng.info only, because I am writing not from my personal email. I will show you some of my private pictures

Okay, totally made this easy for me, my friend:

ARE THEY PICTURES OF YOUR PRIVATES, NICEGIRL?!?!?!

The other day, I ran into a three-legged dog. I ran into him because he couldn't run into me!

You know, the Internet truly is a beautiful universe to live in.

(By the way, Pacman, this one's for you and your fellow music lovers.)

To the memory of one of the ultimate men of men, yet softie of softies, out there.

People tell me I'm a ten-year old and some call me a "sort-of Crocodile Hunter." I do not think the two are mutually exclusive.

Case in evidence: on a recent trip to Florida, I did some things most over-ten-year-old human beings (so I'm told) would not do. I immediately started looking for lizards to play with. And what did I find on our first full day there? A tortoise (a gopher tortoise, if my nature guides serve me)! It growled at me and retreated into its shell. But I picked it up anyway! Unhappy, it continued its low rumble from inside the shell. It wasn't happy I danced with it.

Hitting the beaches, the crabs were plentiful. Therefore, I discovered they do not like being picked up. Come on! What do you expect me to do? Leave them be? I got a few pinches, and one spit at me. Lucky for me, crabs really just make cute little bubbles. The little mouth-like structure builds up a bunch of spittle. I sort of imagine it as yelling obscenities while gargling salt water.

And don't worry: I caught myself a gecko by the last day. Or, well, a gecko tail. The gecko itself is somewhere else, looking up his legal rights.

Of course, then there's a more obvious comparison to Steve Irwin: I've pet stingrays. How could I accomplish this, you ask? Brookfield Zoo recently provided such an opportunity with Stingray Bay (which is moving on to the Phoenix Zoo now--sorry, everyone!). After passing up the Hawaii-themed gift shop, I was sent to wash my hands and arms up to my elbows. So I could touch them and not get tons of my human grease on them.

I discovered the rays like being petted. Find the right spot, they'll slow down and let your scratch them a little bit. Rays are just like puppies... slimy, triangular puppies. Especially without stingers: the zookeepers kept the rays' tails clipped. We were told they had to regularly clip the tails to make sure the stingers didn’t grow back. The stinger grows back? I hope regular clipping of tails is not the kind of thing keepers forget about.

Of course, not all of these slippery puppies were that friendly. Now, you might think this is as stupid as a "Do Not Eat" warning label on a broom, but: don't touch stingrays' tails. They don't like it. I got violently splashed by some ornery ones, just because my dad or I grabbed a tail or two.

And here are the obligatory nature photographs (yes, I was this close with the camera... which has the salt streaks to prove it):

Cownose Ray (Rhinoptera bonasus)

Ha ha! You have a cow nose!

Southern Stingray (Dasyatis americana

Ha ha! You're Southern!

Then came feeding time, which involved buying a $1 worth of raw shrimp and smelt. Holding each bit of seafood in between my fingers, I felt the suction-cup licking. I became even the most ornery of rays' best friend. Definitely not something to miss. It tickled.

After probably a few hours (pruny fingers), I smelled of salt, fish, and, for some reason, wet dog. But I learned an important lesson: these creatures aren't to be feared and are in fact quite beautiful! Being able to interact with (and possibly hug) such an animal is a once in a lifetime experience. How many other times can you get a once in a lifetime experience?

For this, we return to my latest trip to Florida. We’d seen small sand sharks a few times, none of which I attempted to pet. This built up some Jaws-like tension. Two of my friends were in the water (both are NOT swimmers, by the way), and they were out maybe 50-60 feet: fairly deep. On the beach, we saw a dark shape moving toward them. They didn't notice. Guessing it was a bull shark (very big and very dangerous, unlike the other sharks we saw), we shouted for them to swim in. They finally did, just as I was swimming out to reach them.

And what did the dark shape turn out to be? A manatee! So either the manatee wanted to either attack our friends or give them a big hug. I put my money on the hug, so I tried to reach it, but it swam very quickly away from me. Five feet away, and it swam away!

My friends told me the crab and turtle probably warned everything else, and the manatee wasn't going to put up with me. This begs the question: all it would take is one well-connected dolphin, and, BAM, I'm banned from the state?

Not to mention what that gecko might sue for.

Labels: Longer Stuff

Just when I begin to lose faith in the US military's ability to supply me with hard, cold, humorous facts, a gem like today's headlines of the Tribune (which I will use CNN.com for, because they don't require a subscription come along.

Labels: Politics

Luciano Pavarotti just hit his last super-low note.

jinx is the best, sorry, girls. Take a look at her TV Shows List!

Labels: Gaming

The ultimate showdown on the baseball diamond...

(Dave blogged this first. I'm just giving it my own spin, or so my journalism book tells me.)

Labels: Sports

I always enjoy supporting independent animation, and here's a cute one: Tale of Rock.

Though actually the real reason I'm putting this up is 'cause I didn't have sound on the school computer, so I need to remember to watch it when I get back to one that does!

But it's, like, gonna be bought totally in, like, 20 minutes!

Labels: Gaming

Only in America can there be a protest against an Arabic language school for "Islamic extremism" that leads the Arab principal to be replaced by a Jew who doesn't speak Arabic. Possibly only in New York, for that matter.

More of the industry and gaming community is taking note! PCXL really is back, at least in name! Soon enough, we should see if it exists in its true form: full of girls, games, game-playing girls, and funny comments about game-playing girls!

On Wednesday, I intend to get and read a copy. I'll have some updates about it very soon.

Labels: Gaming

Being a scholar of humor, I have to post that I am excited about this movie... contractually and otherwise.

The magazine that helped shape my snarky stances within gaming and on life in general failed years ago. It was called PC Accelerator (PCXL), and its tagline was "Games, Girls, Gags". It spent less of its time playing games than it did writing humor and oogling girls in their pages, and I was fine with that. Fans of PCGamer, its friendly rival, claimed PCXL staffers couldn't beat PCGamer staffers, which was true for the most part. Except the famous match where editor Ed Helms beat three PCGamer staffers at once in an RTS called Homeworld.

Why do I talk about this? Because after being dead for almost seven years (due to low sales), PCXL is back on the shelf. I was woken up by a call about it (from my sister) telling me IT WAS BACK. And I fell asleep again. And woke up again, only to check up on it. Sure enough, it exists again. To play up the irony that my gamerchick sister was the one who found it, the first new issue looks like this:



I can't wait to subscribe again.

Labels: Gaming

My Internet has been on the fritz the past week, which is why there has been only sporadic posting. Blogger has especially not been easy to work with. So, sorry!