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Tuesday, November 02, 2010
 CNN called Kentucky for Rand Paul. Indiana was called for Coats. Let the pity party start for Democrats.
It feels weird to be disenfranchised and for it to be one's own fault. I checked three weeks ago for policy on Illinois absentee ballots. The deadline was gone and dead. No, the Internet can't solve my problems either. Instead, I went back to doing the other parts of my civic duty: the rest of my undemocratic life. But sadly, I won't get to vote in an election I've been urging people to vote in. The most important election of 2010. There's a lack of control in my life today. I feel the need to sit on a couch and tell people that I'm at the mercy of all too many crazies. But I don't worry. I don't despair. Andy and I are going to go bake a cake. P.S. THIS. IS.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Out of the woodworks in the past two years came the Tea Party here in America. I know this is old news, but they've been terrifying the populace, eating brains, and spreading by virus and dogma. Thankfully, it hasn't crossed the borders into Mexico or gone overseas yet. One must be careful these days as these "Tea Baggers" attack shopping malls and town halls, not to mention undocumented housekeepers. One must speak softly and carry a shotgun. And it needs to be loaded with bullets rather than logic. They're immune to logic at this point. Top scientists race and hope to find a cure someday. Or at least a vaccine for those of us to fight back with. First we have to find the gene that makes people innately angry and unreasonable. It might involve a healthier economic climate with growth in stocks and consumer spending, leading to swift job creation and a steady increase in the market, leading to a smaller trade gap and a lessened national debt. But only the top scientists can tell us in time. Good Halloween night, and good luck, America. Labels: America, Halloweenie, Holiday Magic, Politics
Friday, October 29, 2010
I'm going to Washington, D.C, and my preference is to keep fear alive. (As "sanity" is not in my vocabulary.) Washington is a lovely-sounding city where I've almost never been except when I went that one time with Andy and his family and saw everything but the kitchen sink of the Library of Congress. Of course the Library of Congress has a kitchen! It also has a Make-Out Point! That's in the ,69.SUTRA stacks. (Over 5,000 editions and almost as many positions!) Though the link to that trip's log is long broken. I should fix that. I'll see you, my readers, again when the weekend's out. When Halloween hits, actually. I'll have a report when I get back from my lovely eight to ten-hour bus ride through all the highlights, like Smelly, New York, and Dorky, Pennsylvania.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Me and Andy leave Chicago for one minute and everything in Chicago happens! Unless you live under a rock or somewhere besides the Chicagoland-Northwest Indiana area, you've heard that Mayor Richard M. Daley of Chicago will not run for a seventh term. That means, in May, for the first time in 21 years, a Daley will not be Mayor of Chicago. And in the past 55 years, Daleys have handled 42. Without King Richard II, there would've been much less graft. Okay, you're killing me. This is CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, we're talking about. There will ALWAYS be graft. And greed. And corruption. And governors getting fitted for stripes. The difference is that Richie Daley knew how to work that system. Very, very well. I mean, he looks almost clean! Other mayors have always struggled to hold the feuding factions (blacks, whites, Hispanics, the Polish) of the city together. He (and his father) worked this system to make the City of Chicago into what it is today. A shining jewel of the Midwest--the sparkling center of a region that's turned to rust. Richie has been mayor a super-majority of my life. I shed a tear for him. REALLY! I will miss him, and I worry for my city without him. Labels: Chicago, Midwestern Values, Politics
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Dubbed free speech zones by some newspapers, bubbles by others, there is widespread agreement from a minority of screaming anti-abortion activists: it's an affront to free speech. And I agree. This new Chicago ordinance infringes on First Amendment rights of people. Not all anti-abortion activists like to kill clinic workers. Just most of them. I have a solution though: classify the protesters as cigarettes. You might say, "That's a whole 7 feet less free speech!" And yeah, it is. But free speech doesn't apply to cigarettes. 15 feet would give protesters plenty of room to shout at the abortion clinics. All they have to do is shout louder now. They're free to do that much, and I know they can. At the same time, it allows clinic workers to feel safe, especially after the Surgeon General's Warnings are tattooed on all the protesters. It's only a safety precaution. It's much easier to reclassify something we don't like than to pile more laws on top of it. Fewer messy Supreme Court visits and fewer accusations of bigotry. Plus, the Chicago City Council can slap a few taxes on the protesters, too. It's a win-win situation for the city and the budget. Labels: Politics, Religion/Technology
Friday, October 16, 2009
The honeymoon for President Barack Obama and Europe is not over after all. It's been a week since our President received arguably the most prestigious honor a person can get in this world. The mentality in Norway might be seen as, "Quick! Award him a prize before he screws something else up!" But according to the Nobel committee, it was "for [Obama's] extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples. [And for being nice to us again.]" Backlash was immense. Conservatives cackled as liberals struggled to describe the achievements of the president. Most fell back on the argument that the peace prize is not an achievement award, and that it would motivate Obama to do something. Then the conservatives remembered that this award meant that, not only does the world still think the president is the coolest kid on the world playground (even though they didn't give him the Olympics), Barack Obama gets to kiss a lot more girls than them. Labels: International Affairs, Politics
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Do they let every opinionated white guy with a connection write for CNN now? Disregarding the thoughts Mr. Feehery's presented--where I don't find much to argue for or against--gander at the terrible lead: WASHINGTON (CNN) -- It is altogether ironic that the one person to have a Sam Adams beer at the infamous beer summit, hosted by the president, was Skip Gates, the Harvard professor whose arrest led to the summit. Sam Adams was the key revolutionary figure in the Boston Tea Party of 1774, the spark that lit the American Revolution. And now, 235 years later, Tea Parties have sprung up around the country as a reaction against the rule of President Obama and the Democratic Congress. It is unlikely that Skip Gates will be spending any time addressing a Tea Party in his hometown of Boston any time soon. And unlike the popular perception promoted by some in the media, the Tea Party is distinct from the Republican Party, probably as distinct as Sam Adams beer is from Bud Lite. "Altogether ironic"? This guy's a loose cannon with his rhetoric! Yes, Henry Louis Gates' choice of beer is the cultural irony he draws. It's not even Obama's lager. This "writer," Mr. Feehery, probably thought he was quite clever, too. Editor's note: John Feehery worked for former House Speaker Dennis Hastert and other Republicans in Congress. He is president of Feehery Group, a Washington-based advocacy firm that has represented clients that include News Corp., Ford Motor Co. and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. He formerly was a government relations executive vice president for the Motion Picture Association of America. That explains it: a Hollywood rightist. Still, you're going to have to clean up your act, CNN, or I'm going to start editing all your Op-Eds. Labels: Is/Are the Media?, Language, Politics
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
No, wait, I've got a better one than the title: Saved by the Bolsheviks' Drums! And then they can have a Bread Line Years edition. In a half hour, President Obama will indoctrinate the nation's children, which I understand scares many parents. I mean, this is a national scale this guy is telling kids to keep reading, riting, and rithmeticking. I understand exactly why so many are afraid. I've forgotten to study up beforehand on the speech (but glancing at it, I realized I sometimes wonder how Mr. Obama's speech teachers all felt). Rest assured, though, I will be watching and listening live, and scanning for subliminal lasers shooting out of my computer. Labels: Edutainmentacation, Midwestern Values, Politics
Friday, August 14, 2009
I was just thinking of my annual Halloween Political Horror Show post, and I thought, I should get on writing that now about health care. Because I have no doubt in my mind that we'll still be arguing about this, possibly with muskets, by October 31st. Labels: Halloweenie, Holiday Magic, Politics
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Amidst this flurry of recounts, Tweets, and court subpoenas, is Iran or Minnesota better at democracy? Iran is an oppressive dictatorship, unable to hold the mantle of Islamic Republic. Minnesota spent the last eight months making Florida look positively normal. Two elections have concluded, and the two made the world both shake and bury its hands in disgust. But, they're done! Boy, are they done. As of today, Al Franken will be the Honorable Senator Al Franken of Minnesota. In Iran, the populist choice Mir-Hossein Mousavi will not be president, sadly. So the woes are over, with democracy restored for everyone, right? Maybe not for conservatives in the United States. And it still took Minnesota eight months and a gigantic court fight. And Iran's still under an oppressive regime and system of government. So at least Iran has an excuse for not being good at democracy. What's your excuse, Minnesota? Labels: Politics
Friday, May 15, 2009
I love the headline. No wonder the President brought Kumar onto the administration. (And I wonder how many other people used that post title when this obviously hard news first broke?) Labels: Entertainment, Politics
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Pres. Obama survived 100 days in office. I can't honestly tell you how. The recession is bad. Stocks are holding steady right now, but one big fall and there will be a run on potato sacks. Everyone is in a budget crisis, and I mean everyone. Even the potato farmers, who had to spring for burlap rather than silk sacks this year. We handed plenty of CEOs blank checks with bailouts. Needless to say, they took a lot of money for themselves. Many of these CEOs returned their bonuses when Pres. Obama checked the receipts. The rest of the executives now have the honor of being the final detainees of Guantanamo Bay. Grade on Economic Policy: $4.53 On to foreign policy: the US is still in Iraq, Afghanistan is kind of a lost cause, and Pakistan is apparently being taken over by the Taliban, province by province. The third one came out of left field, I know. But thank God we still have our 2nd Amendment: once extremists get nukes, I'll have my brand-new, almost-registered 12-gauge shotgun to fend them off with. American right-wing extremists are apparently a danger now. As if I wasn't worried enough about Pakistani and other extremists. Piracy went from being a museum exhibit, to a novelty that appeared on the BBC every month or so, to a full-blown media frenzy that got Wolf Blitzer to call Anderson Cooper "matey" at least once. It was awkward for both of them. Grade on Foreign Policy: 1 HEAAAAAARTY round of applause And now pigs are spreading flu, all over the world, creating a pandemic killing a few concentrated areas of people. And that's the least of our worries. (Note: Andy's working up a report on swine flu... stay tuned for that). Grade on Health Care: Crispy. So, adding those totals up, my midterm grade for President Barack Obama is a B. Above average. The president has done well in many places. He's also backtracked better than Hansel and Gretel ever could have left breadcrumbs for. And while the crises are not his own fault: how could things possibly look up? All I can think is, at least I can still eat pork, properly cooked. Labels: Politics
Thursday, April 16, 2009
This is to balance the ticket my earlier post. In the midst of tax protests, Pres. Obama has named another "czar," this one for the border. Yes, they are still using the term, "czar." Look, I want to help, really, but I can't if you can't even help yourselves, Left Wingers. Labels: Politics
A word about these tax day tea party protests: It's an insult. Our forefathers fought long and hard to not have people make a mockery of them and to keep tea out of this country. I'll be damned if we ruin our great coffee republic with morning cups of earl grey. Why do you think tea was dumped in the first place? As for the actual meaning of the tea parties, I don't really care. I just like the pictures of right wingers in drag! I'm told the picture linked above is not drag, but is in fact colonial garb. So, find more colonial sassiness at the Tribune here! Labels: History, Is/Are the Media?, Politics
Friday, February 27, 2009
What does this man do for a living, really? How can he afford groceries? (Probably can't use the word "silly" without 15 tons of irony falling on your toes, sir.) Labels: Politics
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I saw my first political ad since November, this one for Sara Feigenholtz. I know, I know: she's running for special election (Illinois 5th), and that's coming up quick. But do I really have to bother to mute these things so soon? Labels: Politics
Saturday, January 31, 2009
When Google breaks, so breaks the Internet. For 55 minutes. I shiver to think when Facebook goes down and millions of college students, older men, and webcam girls are left to fiddle with themselves. Or when YouTube stops giving us sexy word tutorials and skateboarding accidents. Or when Wikipedia goes down, and professors across the globe become important again, only for people to realize professors don't know a thing without Wikipedia. Perhaps we HAVE become too reliant on silly uses of technology. Labels: Politics
Pride is a Deadly Sin, often the first. And now-Governor Pat Quinn began his term in office with a statement on this: "One day a peacock. The next day a feather duster." So, what I heard is, Rod Blagojevich is a peacock-feather duster. I like that. Labels: Politics
Thursday, January 29, 2009
It's unanimous: Governor Rod Blagojevich is now ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich! (59-0, that's, like, eight touchdowns and a field goal.) EDIT: The Illinois Senate is pronouncing the death penalty on the former gov. Whoa, death penalty? OH! It's just them barring Blago from statewide office for eternity. I was thinking the jail metaphors in my last post were hitting too close to home now. In the words of one state senator to the question of yeah or nay to imposing that death penalty, "Absolutely!" (Exclamation point his emphasis.) Labels: Politics |
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