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Friday, June 04, 2010
It's an environmental disaster! Do something before it gets worse than the Exxon Valdez! It will lead to the destruction of the Gulf Coast people and their homes! Do something, please, before it's worse than Hurricane Katrina! Nothing we can do about it while it makes the shrimping industry extinct? OH GOD, SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING, NOW!!! TOO MUCH!!! The British Petroleum oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico has been going for weeks now. In that time, we've seen the rare: perfect games in baseball, ALMOST-perfect games in baseball, and the rarest sight of all, a Chicago sports team on the verge of winning a championship. We've seen politicians backtrack on stupid statements made years ago. We've seen almost-covert military operations by Israel. And we saw someone get named an American Idol by text message. Not exactly rare things these days, but all these things, all the while, oil leaked out of the earth and into our seafood. Sigh. I will resign on this. There is no hope. That squeeze bottle of cocktail sauce in my fridge... so much will be wasted. Labels: America, Critters, Economics, News, Religion/Technology, Travel
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
First YOU get an award, now the Internet might get one! Yes, THAT Internet! What's with all these incomprehensibly large and theoretical entities getting stuff, and when do they ship me mine? Also, question: does the Internet count as a pronoun by now? I think it does. Oxford, listen up. Labels: OK Internet Corral, Religion/Technology
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Dubbed free speech zones by some newspapers, bubbles by others, there is widespread agreement from a minority of screaming anti-abortion activists: it's an affront to free speech. And I agree. This new Chicago ordinance infringes on First Amendment rights of people. Not all anti-abortion activists like to kill clinic workers. Just most of them. I have a solution though: classify the protesters as cigarettes. You might say, "That's a whole 7 feet less free speech!" And yeah, it is. But free speech doesn't apply to cigarettes. 15 feet would give protesters plenty of room to shout at the abortion clinics. All they have to do is shout louder now. They're free to do that much, and I know they can. At the same time, it allows clinic workers to feel safe, especially after the Surgeon General's Warnings are tattooed on all the protesters. It's only a safety precaution. It's much easier to reclassify something we don't like than to pile more laws on top of it. Fewer messy Supreme Court visits and fewer accusations of bigotry. Plus, the Chicago City Council can slap a few taxes on the protesters, too. It's a win-win situation for the city and the budget. Labels: Politics, Religion/Technology |
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