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Monday, July 04, 2011
Happy July 4th to anyone stumbling upon this page! Especially Americans, since it is our holiday. This holiday rings with such celebratory excitement and glee (not joy--that's saved for Christmas) that I can't help but sing along. Read the Declaration, read some satire of the Declaration... the usual American things. And despite all our misgivings, all our wars, debts, and general stupidity, there's always room to bask in the awesomeness of our country. People STILL love coming here. SMART people. For example, British author Simon Winchester is getting his citizenship today after living in this country for years. It's gallant of a proper British chap become an American this day and age--and aboard a warship that stood cannon-to-cannon against the British in 1812 to boot! Not many Americans can say that. None that I know personally. I'm almost jealous. Labels: America, Holiday Magic
Friday, December 31, 2010
Eaglie's annual Four Horsemen post will be going up soon, just... well, okay, I ask for some more slack. I mean, Eaglie didn't even get to wish you guys Merry Christmas! For that, I am sorry. Please, have a Merry Christmas. On the house. In lieu of the Horsemen post for now, sit with something that cheered me up today and in Auld Lang Syne: (Video via Neatorama and friend-of-the-blog Chris Edwards.) Here's to a happier, healthier 2011, one with a Four Horsemen post and lots more happy penguins. Labels: Critters, Holiday Magic
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Out of the woodworks in the past two years came the Tea Party here in America. I know this is old news, but they've been terrifying the populace, eating brains, and spreading by virus and dogma. Thankfully, it hasn't crossed the borders into Mexico or gone overseas yet. One must be careful these days as these "Tea Baggers" attack shopping malls and town halls, not to mention undocumented housekeepers. One must speak softly and carry a shotgun. And it needs to be loaded with bullets rather than logic. They're immune to logic at this point. Top scientists race and hope to find a cure someday. Or at least a vaccine for those of us to fight back with. First we have to find the gene that makes people innately angry and unreasonable. It might involve a healthier economic climate with growth in stocks and consumer spending, leading to swift job creation and a steady increase in the market, leading to a smaller trade gap and a lessened national debt. But only the top scientists can tell us in time. Good Halloween night, and good luck, America. Labels: America, Halloweenie, Holiday Magic, Politics
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Sue me and donate the proceeds or something. Labels: America, Holiday Magic, Tribute
Sunday, July 04, 2010
The bans on buying handguns in several Midwest towns (Chicago and Oak Park, Il.) were essentially overturned by the Supreme Court. The Gulf of Mexico has been handing out free fossil fuels to all its neighbors. And we're still terrible at soccer. At least on defense. How American. Happy Birthday to all of us, guys! Labels: America, Holiday Magic
Monday, April 05, 2010
I don't think there are any days that optimism soars quite like Opening Day in Chicago baseball. The small-balling Sox already got running, and the Cubbies start in an hour. Yup, it is only a matter of time before that fly-ball-of-optimism gets lost in the summer sun. That was the less optimistic side talking. I still think there's a chance. Ever a tinker of a chance in Chicago, that's what my Pop always said. So, my predictions: Cubs-Sox win the two Central Divisions, the pennant, and meet in the World Series. Cubs in five there. A tinker of a chance, like I just said. Labels: Chicago, Holiday Magic, Sports
Sunday, February 14, 2010
While it's still Valentine's Day, I better make up for my cynicism today (sending around They Might Be Giants' "They'll Need a Crane" did not help). I give you, the reader, a mixtape by my friend and listener, Alex. Your mixtapes are excellent and romantic and bodacious, sir: may you never go deaf in your old age. And look! There's a less depressing They Might Be Giants' song on there! Labels: Holiday Magic, Love Notes
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sometimes I think the Internet just perpetuates our generation's nostalgia. (h/t The Chicagoist) Labels: Holiday Magic
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Breaking news: Santa has not crossed the Atlantic yet. But the Big Guy's getting close! Labels: Holiday Magic, Modern Times
Monday, December 07, 2009
The holidays are coming and going at a breakneck speed! I didn't even have a chance to wish myself a happy birthday! Which I will retroactively wish for last Saturday, December 5th. But that is not the point of this preciously short post. The point is to post a link to Dave Barry's Gift Guide! Which I just started reading. I'm sure everything after that first sentence is great, too. Labels: Holiday Magic
Thursday, November 26, 2009
So I'll give and thank together: I am thankful for unripped flannel PJs; " " " " coffee to start the day. " " " " Channel Nine parades; " " " " their cute reporter babes. " " " " my dinner of gobblers; " " " " you fixing boots, cobblers; Hey, I'm the poet: I rhyme anything, So it won't go anywhere, complaining! (This is the pentametrical bridging.) I am thankful for not marching ill; " " " " another coffee refill. " " " " the Christmas El cheering; " " " " any other train working. " " " " heading home at the last minute; " " " " heading home in just a... minute! Happy Thanksgiving everyone, from the Internet (and by proxy, e.e. cummings)! Labels: Holiday Magic
Saturday, October 31, 2009
We've found an interview from a ways back with the newly indicted, former head of the Transylvanian-American Alliance, Vlad "Rod" Blagojevich.
(The rest is here.) When contacted for a cross-interview with us, the ex-governor hissed and ran. Labels: Halloweenie, Holiday Magic
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Avast! This health care crisis be a swabby mess on th' Ol' Poop Deck. Public options, beauracrats, an' rude members o' Congress! It be enough to make a good pirate come back t'land, just ta enjoy the yellin'! I be a foward thinkin' cap'n. Ye don't believe me--I LIE?! Scurvy jackass! I be a man o' th' people, me people, an' they be cryin' out fer the public option. An' I be in agreein'. Sure I be a free-lubbin' bucko. Sure, me ship offer dental an' vARRRious levels of health coverage. But th'public option be th' best choice fer free-lubbers that be too poor an' too sick ta be livin' a pirate's life like me. Not everyone be a matey on me ship. Th' public option be the option a' choice fer those people. Look at other nations an' how poor they be with pirates! I be lookin' at Canada an' Sasketchawan fer this inspARRRation. But if ye be less fer the public option than them, if'n ye be hatin' th' beauracratic way life could be goin': try t'join me ship, send a resume, an' don't be worryin' 'bout this mess more. Pay yer taxes (I do). Stop yellin'. Ye jus' have a great TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! YAR! Labels: Holiday Magic
Friday, August 14, 2009
I was just thinking of my annual Halloween Political Horror Show post, and I thought, I should get on writing that now about health care. Because I have no doubt in my mind that we'll still be arguing about this, possibly with muskets, by October 31st. Labels: Halloweenie, Holiday Magic, Politics
Sunday, April 12, 2009
You mean, the Easter bunny stopped by already? But... I wasn't even ready with my camera! I mean, I need evidence... license plate number, registration, something! Happy Easter, Aviary readers! Labels: Holiday Magic
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
There are no April Fools' Jokes here. Or here. Or here. Just kidding! Of course there's an April Fools' Joke here! I mean, OF COURSE the US is lifting the ban on Americans traveling to Cuba! Why wouldn't that be true? And it's not like we're gonna sabotage and infiltrate anything while we're there in our floral prints and khaki cargoes. That would be silly! Though silliness abound: it is April 1st! Happy April Fools' Day! Labels: Holiday Magic
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
So, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I will pick ONE Irish story off of BBC, and I will connect it to the holiday. One story, one connection, and I promise it will have nothing to do with explosions. How can I do that, when I'm randomizing this? Easy: I lie about where my finger lands. Okay, so let's find a random story... Pointing... clicking... Perfect. Happy St. Patrick's Day! Labels: Holiday Magic
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Again, I'm a lapsed Catholic bird. So I don't give up meat on Fridays, I don't fast, and no one's smearing my feathers with ashes. But yet again, Andy, as lapsed a human Catholic he is, has given up watching TV alone. So what should I give up in turn, to support my roommate and handler? I decided I'd be more optimistic. None of this "giving up." It's so negative it makes my tail feathers poof. No, I'm making a resolution (it was actually a New Year's Resolution a few years ago--as Lent often is): I will floss. Remember: I might not have teeth, but beaks need flossing, too. Labels: Holiday Magic
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Every 12 years, Andy and I celebrate with beef fried rice (beef is like ox...) and a Chinese-themed movie. Last time, we watched Temple of Doom in our flannel Yoda jammies. This time, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor had to suffice. And I got the Sesame Chicken student special (with more kind-of-ox fried rice). So far, Brendan Frasier has had upwards of three slapstick incidents and keeps blinking. Whoops, that was Blagojevich. Anyway, happy new year to my Eastern readers! Labels: Holiday Magic |
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