Eaglie's Aviary

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Another Ultimate Sign of Adulthood

You know you've reached maturity and independence when your first check bounces.

I received a statement that my last check bounced and will incur a two-digit overdraw fee. Meaning my already late electric bill will be even later. Looking at the printout I had of the statement, the thought crossed my mind, "You'll be seeing a whole lot more of these, Mr. Professional Writer."

I called my landlord, who likes me by the way, and he told me not to worry much. The first bounced check is always stressful. Later in life, they'll just pass right through you, you'll be so used to them--he knows. Should I be worried that a landlord and Chicago Democratic Party leader told me that?

Next, I called the bank. After the very helpful message about Forest Park First National's amazing program and many different accounts, a very helpful teller named Linda (who sounded hot) answered.

I put on my best pout of a voice. I slumped down in my chair, pitifully enough to notice over the phone. I would go down in tears to get this fee removed.

I explained to Linda I did the math right. Through the last two years of checks from that account, it added up the same as when I first did the balance. I was triple-checking as we were speaking, so was there an extra hidden fee FP First National charged on my account? Did some of my money get loaned out? Did someone loan YOU my money to strip for them, Miss Hot-Voice?

She told me there shouldn't be any extra fees with my account type. I thanked her and said I'll investigate further. I can call back if I need anything, since I got her number ANYWAY.

Looking at the current balance again (with the overdraw fee included), I flipped out my TI-83 to see the discrepancy with what MY balance was--carry the two, don’t forget the point--"Twenty dollars exactly."

So the stripping teller is not out of the question, but I'll just have to bounce back from this. I'll pay closer attention next time, and I'll use the Marvin the Martian checks. And maybe a calculator.