Eaglie's Aviary

Friday, June 04, 2010

I Knew Breaking Up Standard Oil Was a Bad Idea

It's an environmental disaster! Do something before it gets worse than the Exxon Valdez! It will lead to the destruction of the Gulf Coast people and their homes! Do something, please, before it's worse than Hurricane Katrina! Nothing we can do about it while it makes the shrimping industry extinct? OH GOD, SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING, NOW!!! TOO MUCH!!!

The British Petroleum oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico has been going for weeks now. In that time, we've seen the rare: perfect games in baseball, ALMOST-perfect games in baseball, and the rarest sight of all, a Chicago sports team on the verge of winning a championship.

We've seen politicians backtrack on stupid statements made years ago. We've seen almost-covert military operations by Israel. And we saw someone get named an American Idol by text message. Not exactly rare things these days, but all these things, all the while, oil leaked out of the earth and into our seafood.

Sigh. I will resign on this. There is no hope. That squeeze bottle of cocktail sauce in my fridge... so much will be wasted.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

An Olympic Fever of 103

There is a week left until the date that will decide our fate. Will Chicago host the Olympic Games in the year 2016? Will we "make no small plans"? Will we add a fifth star to the civic flag? Will we build exorbitant temporary infrastructure and debt?

Bus ads sound off athletic support every 20 minutes , and parking meters play the Olympic theme every 30 (only one of these is real, for now--guess which). It makes for a piercingly noisy commute. But do I "back the bid"? Or am I one of the many Chicagoans hoping we lose this track & field & pony show?

Well, no: I back this white city's bid. Mostly because I believe Chicago can avoid debt better than any city on earth. Maybe we'll burn her down again after the Games for the insurance money.

Stay tuned: the Aviary will be posting all week about the countdown to Chicago or Rio 2016--Toyko and Madrid... are you kidding me?

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Friday, January 16, 2009

Best News All Day

In a change of pace, a plane crashed, leaving 155 people unharmed. The actions of the pilot and crew allowed a splash into the Hudson River and everyone to make it out, without so much as hypothermia from the winter-cold waters. (Jeez, there wasn't even ICE on the river where they landed!)

To quote the article's key witness: "Not that I'm an expert in plane crashes, it being my first one, but it went fairly smoothly."

Suck it up, Aviarians, that's the cheeriest news you're going to get in 2009.

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