I, Eaglie, am retiring. For the night.

When I wake up, I will be whisking off to school, and then whisking off to O'Hare Airport for a trip to New Haven, Conetticut?... Connectticutt?... Conneticuite?... Well, that doesn't matter. What matters is I am on an "announced" vacation this time (the last two weeks have been pretty much vacation time, punctuated by sorry attempts at posts), up until Super Bowl Sunday, when I will be writing something new, hopefully pertaining to the Big Game. And then, I'll probably have stories to tell about my trip.

And do not worry, loyal Aviarians. You will get good stuff coming up. Coming up is the Aviary's first ever Valentine's Day Bonanza (though it will not be posted on Valentine's Day... I will be away yet again that date). I will create a catchier name (Eaglie's Valentine's Day Massacre?) than that by said date.

I hope you all will not miss me too much. I am only going to be gone from Thursday to Sunday. Hold it, never mind... I hope you all miss me terribly. I hope to see you all cowering in front of your computers on Sunday, twitching and hitting the reload button on the Aviary every few seconds, just to make sure you read the new post immediately.

Don't forget to vote in the Bloggies (I did not get nominated, not even for Best African or Middle Eastern Weblog).

So, anyway, enjoy the Super Bowl, vote in the Bloggie awards, and miss me terribly.

Go Panthas, baby!

I was planning on writing a long rant attacking my oldest sister and brother for their recent actions (a long painful story for my whole family), but then I just sat down and thought about it. And then I picked up an email that came to my hands, words written by the greatest philosopher of our time:

(Notice: there are several different editions of this. I chose this one)

"Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn" by Dave Barry


1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
   
   
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
   
   
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
   
   
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
   
   
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
   
   
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
   
   
7. Never lick a steak knife.
   
   
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
   
   
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
   
   
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
    
    
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
    
    
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
    
    
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
    
    
14. Your friends love you anyway.
    
    
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
    
    
16. FINAL Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
    

Read this list and be inspired, readers.

RAR! Show some anger! That weekend needed to be longer!

For so, so many reasons.

But: cheer up everyone, 'cause tomorrow's another day and... wait, that's the damn problem, isn't it?

State of the Union Address Translator
See the transcript of the real State of the Union Address
And note, if you're conservative, some of this will probably burn your eyes, some will brighten them with laughter...


"America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people."

Translation: Fuck you, allies, fuck you all. We don't fuck around when it comes down to US "interests," and this time, "interests" seriously counts people too!


"If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage. "

Translation: Since the judicial branch, appointed by politicians like me, is not listening to politicians like me and is instead looking at the world in a more lawful and fair way, Congress and I are gonna tramp all over the constitution.


"Americans took those dollars and put them to work, driving this economy forward. The pace of economic growth in the third quarter of 2003 was the fastest in nearly 20 years. New home construction: the highest in almost 20 years. Home ownership rates: the highest ever. Manufacturing activity is increasing. Inflation is low. Interest rates are low. Exports are growing.
Productivity is high. And jobs are on the rise. These numbers confirm that the American people are using their money far better than government would have and you were right to return it. America's growing economy is also a changing economy. As technology transforms the way almost every job is done, America becomes more productive, and workers need new skills. Much of our job growth will be found in high-skilled fields like health care and biotechnology. So we must respond by helping more Americans gain the skills to find good jobs in our new economy. "

Translation: I cannot list real facts. I can only list general statements about the economy. But, they're all true! Minimally true, but true!


"Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year. [applause]"

Translation: Since there is applause right after this statement, either the Patriot Act is really unpopular with, like, any sane person... or all the Republicans have water in their ears and are just clapping along with the Democrats. There may also be technical difficulties with our APPLAUSE indicator.


I'm sorry for those who hate politics, but I had to. I hate the State of the Union addresses always. Every president that has been in office has had terrible State of the Union addresses that can barely be picked apart with the sheer fluff that goes into them... The addresses never give true, tangible facts. And if they do, they end up accusing Niger of some radioactive metals dealing.

Too bad Dubya has to have such stupid ideas in international affairs (a mostly unnecessary war backed up by everything the US could muster, a Road Map to Peace not backed up by anything, a snubbing of the EU, UN, NATO, the theory of preemptive strikes, the Us or Them theory, etc.) Since I disagree with pretty much every international policy Bush has ever put into effect, I was dying during the first part of that speech.

Anyone notice ironically that in Us or Them, "Us" can also be written as "US" or maybe even "U.S."

Labels: Sports

How 'bout letting someone else handle the work?

Time to feel tired and stupid at the same time! Welcome to Ignatius finals' week!

I have now found my worst nightmare as I begin the studying for finals.

I must say, it's not as gratifying as the real thing. Or as addictive. The "Classic Bubble Wrap" can be obtained through the computer already (order something to be shipped to you). But, this virtual stuff... it's on the computer, which makes it more efficient and all.

Hasn't technology taken us so far?

My grades are going to go to hell, I know it.

(Keep commenting! I'll draft up something, a constitution methinks, on the Blog Ring: the Blog Ring to rule them all, to find them, to bring them all, and, in the shadows, bind them! Go ahead, shake your head in disgust.)

An addendum to my post just below this... the webring is now going to be a definite thing. I still want suggestions, and then I will also be diplomatically recruiting Ignatius bloggers.

And now, for some fun! Hope the Chrises read this: Slinky Movie

And, now presenting The Bloggies!

News about my projects.

First off, I'm working on some new artwork for this blog, that'll hopefully make this blog start to look like its own entity rather than an offshoot of EverQuest ranting.

Next off, I'm gonna start a proposal to all of ya for a homepage for the Ignatius Blogring. We're going to try to organize this chaos somehow. It needs a better name to... though, a name with Ignatius or Wolfpack would help.

I must decide the hosting page (I could even make it a blog). I could easily use free-host.com, but I'm not a fan of getting a second account there. I still want to organize this, and I would be willing to make banners for all pages that rally under my alliance. Everyone gets an identifying banner on the page if they agree with this project.

Please, for God's sake, comment on this! Or email!

I can tell you, HaloScan fits my blog setup much better, for now at least. I do know that BlogBack is a good system, malleable and everything, but since this is ready made and still fits my site very well, it has won through. Sorry, Pacman!

Not like anyone lost anything (like comments) when we removed the old comment system.

Okay, I'm officially calling a moratorium on quizzes on this blog, because they make it seem too much like I don't care. Of course I care. That's why I give everyone something to think about always. Keep reading, guys (gals? animals? little greys?)!

Once I have a break from work and my... ahem... "nighttime activities" (I hear the catcalls, yes, straight through my ISP), I will get back to real posting about real things, politics and... ahem... righteous leftism!

I don't really care for page hit counters, so if you really want to make yourself known, email me or leave a comment.

You are Form 2, Angel: The Pure.

"And The Angel rose as holy protector for
all that was created. She fought with honor
and valor to serve the good of the world. But
the coming of the mankind was her downfall; and
end to purity."

Some examples of the Angel Form are Michael
(Christian) and Hercules (Greek).
The Angel is associated with the concept of virtue,
the number 2, and the element of wind.
Her sign is the zenith sun.

As a member of Form 2, you are a person of your
word. You generally keep your promises and
give everything you do your best. Although
some people see you as overbearing sometimes,
you know that you have to stay true to yourself
and do what's right. Angels are the best
friends to have because they are brutally
honest.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So, I'm bored... that's all fine, right? I need sleep, kids.

Someone asked me why Steve Bartman did not make the list of the Four Horsemen of 2003. Well, all in truth, Steve Bartman averted a very quick end to this plane of Existence. He righted the natural order of the world, keeping the Cubs out of the World Series (the other end, the Red Sox, did it by themselves), and yet... as a diehard Cubs' fan... I think I'd have taken Armageddon over what we got (the Marlins winning everything).

As we once discussed, what will never come to be in 2003, Jesus is coming back, smiting the wicked and judging the damned, and then catching a Cubs-Red Sox game:

"And now for the ceremonial first pitch, the Pres... wait, tha-that's not President Bush! It seems Jesus Christ, stepping down from the Golden Stairs of the Heavenly Host, is the surprise guest to throw out that first pitch! Ha ha ha! Bud Selig sure knows how to put on a show! And..."

Wouldn't that have been grand?

Labels: Sports

Well, at the end of the day, the trend finds Blogspot. Welcome the newest bloggers to the whole gosh darned thing!

Sarah Says Ta Da!

Take Me As I Am: Somebody Has To!

I have to say, blogspot is a powerful tool, though I wish it would design a Blogspot comment system, hence my temporary BlogBack system. But it's a more malleable template than blogcity or livejournal or deadjournal. And so, three cheers for monopolies!

"Harumph, harumph, harumph!"

You thought 2003 was over, right? Wrong. We’re still in Iraq and the situation degrades every day. But, Saddam fell and was found, and we see the economy turning around, only meaning that we may get stuck with President Bush another four years. Florida, unfortunately, cannot redeem itself in politics, but California can sure as hell try to overshadow it, for The Guv-ah-natah is now at the helm. Unnatural disasters (the Cubs) and natural disasters (the Cubs) hit us, and, my God, what’s there to say about Michael Jackson?!

And the degradation of society continues with Reality TV. It seems stronger than during the rise of Survivor. Case in point, Paris Hilton. A beauty princess that looks the part of porn star (plays the part, too) has decided to finally do some “work” in her life. Good for her! Or how about the losers on Average Joe 2. The commercials I’ve seen have made me believe that there truly are people who should not pass on Y chromosomes (“How-wa-ye!”). And, there’s the newest show that actually entertained me with its commercial, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, on, you guessed it, FOX!

I’m gonna put myself out on a limb in saying the predictions of the Apocalypse a few years back were off a bit. The real Four Horsemen are coming. Eaglie’s Aviary, a vocal opponent of the Apocalypse, is beginning a tradition here. We are awarding our Horsemen of 2003, the people who moved us just a little bit closer to the End Times.

Gov. Arnold is obviously Number One. He’s a veteran that fought for the Apocalypse and fought against it countless times, so he knows his territory. But, I’ll put it this way: a Republican in control of the most Democratic state in the union?! California will blow up by year’s end.

Number Two, remember you heard this here, is Simon Cowell, the dude from American Idol, the standard bearer of Reality TV for 2003. Can’t you see him doling out cruel insults and brimstone?

Number Three will be Michael “Welcome to Neverland Ranch” Jackson. If this site had been around a decade ago, Michael may have, by now, owned ten “Horseman” trophies.

Our final pick for Horsemen of 2003… Number Four has to be Al Sharpton. The self-proclaimed black God-monger has become a respectable statesman, and yet can still sing and dance on Saturday Night Live. God (really) help us all.

So those are our picks for The Horsemen of 2003. Just remember, when God’s true Four Horsemen cometh, they’ll be riding M1 Abrams tanks and Bush tax cuts.

Labels: Four Horsemen, Longer Stuff

I can never stand emotional entries... but it must be done. Stay tuned afterwards for a li'l pick-ya-up.

To my readers: Happy New Year's!

To my classmates: Happy Graduation Year! We're finally at that date pounded into our heads since we were freshmen.

To everyone I've wronged: I'm sorry, specifically a few of you.

To the Chrises: thank you for your companionship, support, and future companionship and support. I don't think I've ever thanked you guys enough.

To my fellow Andrew: I respect you now more than I ever have. Keep fighting, straightedge.

To Sarah and Alex: I know now, after seeing Sarah by Alex's side on New Year's, that I can never find wrong in your relationship. Sarah, watch over Alex for me.

To just Alex: I hate accepting apologies when I feel there is no wrong, but to put you at ease, I will accept yours. Alex, stop shaking in your corner, with your hair frazzled and eyes bloodshot, and come out and play, damn it! No matter what you're gonna do, you're not gonna get rid of me. If you kill me, I'll just haunt your damn house.

To my teachers, the ones who try and actually inspire me. You are few, and I'll not name you. But you're there.

To my parents, whom should never read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. My parents made everything possible, with all the genes and stuff.

To my other relatives, for giving me hugs and kisses whenever I see you.

And, finally, to Margaret, the one closest to me, to my sister. You are the person who knows me best, who knows me most, and who cares about me the most. So get that God damned plush bushbaby out of my face!

And to my readers, I apologize for this entry... with this:

HAPPY 2004!

New Year's Resolutions:

My resolutions? To set up a new, personal comment system, to stay together with my friends through thick and thin, and to show any colleges that reject me that they fucked up.

Our reader's resolutions (yes, "reader's" is singular, because only ONE PERSON LISTENED TO ME!):

From heardramblings@sbcglobal.net


1. To stay away from any electrical device that I have dismantled.
   
2. To stay away from any firework that I have dismantled.
   
3. To not use the powder from said firework in other soft devices.
   
4. To not mix said powder with said electrical devices, ex. Toaster.
   
5. To not make my own Potassium Nitrate, no matter how easy.
   
6. To not make my own napalm because that would require me to make my own Potassium Nitrate.
   
7. To stop reading the Anarchist Cookbook
   
8. To start reading the Anarchist Cookbook again... just for fun.
   
9. To stay away from any unsupported tower that is over two stories tall.
   
10. To no longer play with the following: crowbar, electrical sockets, soldering iron, This big metal thing I found in my basement (don't know what it's called), and anything with the words "Danger", "Caution" and "Hazardous Material."
    
11. To live another year
    
12. OR to go out in a flame of glory!
    

Happy New Year, everyone!


"should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne!

for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

and surely ye'll be your pint stowp!
and surely I'll be mine!
and we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

we twa hae run about the braes,
and pou'd the gowans fine;
but we've wander'd mony a weary fit
sin' auld lang syne.
for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

we twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
but seas between us briad hae roar'd
sin' auld lang syne.

for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

and there's a hand, my trusty fere!
and gie's a hand o' thine!
and we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught,
for auld lang syne.

for auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne."