My Internet exploded. AICN and Miramontron helped.

THE REASON?

One of the weirder blogs I've come across in the scouring of the blogosphere. If you're up for hummus- or at least tahini-related discussion, you might want to check this out.

(Submitted by Emily.)

Andy and I have to make another disappearance for a few days (isn't it odd that we always disappear at the same time?). Mostly a mental health thing. I'll be doing some non-Internet stuff until Tuesday, so sadly, you'll be stuck with the Slytherin layout until then. I might make slight appearances, since I WILL have a computer, but they will be minimal.

And until Tuesday, then, read the classics.

Here's a new website I'll have to add to the sidebar (when I feel like making this a non-Slytherin page later): Bardball!

I guess I'll have to post one of my old poems. (It was written in 8th grade!)

Casey IV: A Little Homage to Ernest Lawrence Thayer's "Casey at the Bat"

Yet another year, and the outlook was poor...
You'd know if you had looked at the score.
The crowd, discouraged, was leaving quickly
In hopes to get home for another game on TV.
A few hopeful still stayed, while the rest resigned to next year,
For those who stayed, they held their Mudville nine dear.
Needless to say, someone shouted then, "Look now who's up!
He's got his bat... THIS one can get us out of our rut!"

With his team down by the total of eight,
Casey IV stepped up to the plate.
He looked at the mound, his grip on the bat,
And prayed the ump was not a rat.
Bases were loaded, Ninth inning no doubt,
Pitches were thrown, Strike One, Two... so close to an out.
Count 3 and 2, the pitch came in,
The crowd was silent, could this lead to a win?
Casey swung and CRACK! BOOM! BAM!
Four new runs for Mudville! A whole grand slam!
But since they needed eight, they were still in a jam,
And struck out did the very next man.

Labels: Sports

Rumors are going around that Goatse.CX made it into a split-second frame of the CNN-YouTube debates. That post said Obama and Clinton flinched in disgust.

We'll spare you the pictures, but pretty likely, it's a hoax. Most other bloggers that reported it are saying it probably never happened. No proof or outrage has actually happened.

Proof how much power a simple blog post can have sometimes.

Labels: Politics

After a cookie-fueled marathon (with several untimely halts for birthday parties and friends), I finished. And I couldn't believe Colbert was right about Hermione being a dude!

Never mind that. I lied. But I won't be from now on, so you have to be careful! Time for inviso-text! SPOILERS ahead, as if you needed to know. Please cast Lumos/say the magic words, Marauder fans/highlight the below with your cursor to get my thoughts!

Hedwig as the first death? I guess I should've seen that coming. Everything precious of an older order precious and related to Harry had to die (besides Hagrid, who was a symbol against racial stereotyping... I believe that was all that kept him alive).

More on Hagrid: the thing at the beginning might have been the worst Rowling has ever done to my heart. To send Hagrid careening to the ground and to have Harry see him limp and cold was too much to end a chapter with, followed immediately by a chapter called "Fallen Warrior?" I hate you, Ms. Rowling.

The scene where Harry finally visits the graves of his parents might be Rowling's true prose masterpiece. She might just as well have written the part ten years ago, planning every moment to lead up to that. Just read it. Again.

From the first book, I knew Harry would have to break into Gringott's. And ride a dragon. C'mon.

Snape, sadly, played such a minor role for most of the book that it started aching. At least until one very fateful chapter. Then Snape... well, my predictions were pretty much perfectly in tune with Snape. It wasn't a question of whether Snape was good or evil, but why he was good.

Still, I cannot say he fits the role of tragic hero. Harry is the only one remotely carrying such a flaw.

I will admit to being a Harry/Ginny shipper (as annoyed as I was with her in CoS, I loved her in OotP), so let's put it this way: way to shortchange Ginny, Rowling! That girl deserved much more screen time.

The only way I can forgive it is how someone put it: Ginny's character quest was fulfilled by the end of HBP. She had become a social butterfly, popular, athletic, and extremely pretty. She had turned from the little fangirl to her own woman, leaving Rowling free to pursue other characters, especially to put Harry out in the cold, longing for her the way she longed for him back in the day. Like I said, I'm a Harry/Ginny shipper.

Or it might just be the red hair.

Also, KILLING A WEASLEY TWIN?!?!?! SPLITTING THEM UP?!?! What is this, every action movie? Dragonlance?! Seriously!

The final thing I can gloat about is the final thing: the Battle of Hogwarts. The only place a fitting showdown could take place. I was nearly livid when it looked like it would be in the Forbidden Forest, but, bless his heart, Harry pulled a Jesus. Which might be something to discuss, but I'm also on break from school, so nyah.

Finally, I just have to say this: congrats, Rowling, on having the guts to make Harry a Horcrux. True, I should scold you for not having the guts to kill him, but then, I'd be pissed.

All in all, I felt it was the most different of the novels (no one will disagree), and it broke from Rowling's previous formulas almost entirely, besides the Trio's "research" stage, "on the run" stage, the "climax" stage involving the death of someone important, and the "Dumbledore explains" stage (which was only not in one book, HBP).

And the only appearances of Hogwarts are in Harry's visions and in the final battle (and what an appearance!).

It was a culmination of all the characters. I told someone that it was like the last episode of Seinfeld: bring everyone back and give them a moment in the sun. Dobbie and Kreacher even get their moments. Griphook the goblin appears (from Book One). Grawp shines. Neville (as everyone expected) kicks ass. Even Molly Weasley gets into the fray and beats the shit out of Bellatrix.

So that's the end of the series, that's my 5,000 words, and that's Ha'Potta' Kedavra!

DISCLAIMER! I went there for much less time than most people. In fact, I skipped midnight, partly because I can get ahold of the book through other means and partly because I had to host a party.

Oak Park, home to literary giants... or well, just Ernest Hemingway I guess. It's also kind of my home, though I more live next door in Forest Park, the place they send their thru traffic and black families.

Yes, I grew up in the shadow of Ernest Hemingway's museum, birthplace, childhood home, and wide lawn. And Saturday was his birthday, and what a coincidence! My birthday! My 21st! Yesterday! So I apologize for not staying to the end, of course, but Butterbeer is not the same as a Doplebock or Hefeweisen (or a whole load of friends spritzing you with a 30-pack of Old Style).

Now, off to the land of wide Harries and narrow Potters (eewww!). That's right: you get a picture story!


My budget for my journalistic endeavour. Better not waste it on Chocolate Frogs and Butterbeer!


Hogwarts, at last!


The building itself looks like an old field house. I think Oak Park should've sprung for a higher budget and built a full-scale Hogwarts.


I solemnly swear I am up to no good, jerkface.


The Quidditch Pitch, wizards and witches ages 6-12.

How were they playing Quidditch? All the kids had to be on their brooms to play.


Brooms galore!

Three periods, ten minutes each, would be played. Snitch catches would NOT be ending these games (so inaccurate, these nerds). A score with the Quaffle was five points (it is ten in the books), and a Snitch catch was 50 (150 in the books, and there could not be multiple catches).

There were three hoop goals on each end of the pitch, protected by a Keeper. The other players were the three Chasers (ones who take the shots on goal), two Beaters (the defenders and brutes for the team), and one Seeker (the Harry Potter).


The Pitch.

There were four balls on the field: one Quaffle, a large black-and-silver ball, two Bludgers, orange-and-blue Nerf basketballs (in other words, small), and one Golden Snitch, a cute little thing (more on this later).

The Beaters were given a Nerf bats to protect the rest of the team from Bludgers. The sideline refs threw the Bludgers. If hit by a Bludger, a player would have to drop everything they were doing and go ring the bell on the side of the field.

As you can imagine, the bats were not just used for this. As the announcer pleaded, "Beaters must remember to not attack Chasers, only Bludgers!"


The bell to ring when hit by a Bludger.

As for the Snitch...


The Golden Snitch was a guy in a hat swinging around a golden ball on a string. Really.


See! Look at his hat!


The game I watched the entirety of was between the Lady Dragons versus the Holyhead Harpies!


The stands, filled with fans!

The box score:
Holyhead Harpies -- 130 - 70 - 135 -- 335
Lady Dragons -- 160 - 160 - 55 -- 345

Lady Dragons win! It was a great game for all involved, including the parents. One remarked, proudly, "Is this going to help them on college applications?" I am sure these 6-through-12-year olds already want that sporting scholarship.

I decided I needed to move to the rest of the party. Lucky for this Muggle, transportation showed up.


The Knight Bus is apparently Grey Line-owned.

But I decided against that transportation to continue my investigation and spy what I could on the way. I walked.


The local church joins in, calling itself Grace-yndor! Get it?!


Is that the entrance to the Ministry of Magic or a Time Lord's primary weapon?


Scoville Park in reality is NOT Hogsmeade Village, proven by the fact that they are quite a way away from each other.


Rickshaws, chosen transportation of Scoville Park.


Wizard's Chess! Just as boring as real chess!


The announcer's minions pose.


I invoke the King's Privilege! Gangbang!


Dumbledore Is Alive! Elvis Has Twins!


A segway into the next picture...


Granddad's Wands, selling you plenty of little overpriced yet finely crafted wooden sticks.


A finely crafted $32 wand or this free pen? Sometimes, the pen IS mightier.


House Elf Sock Drive!


And a horse.


Unfortunately, my picture of the portrait of the fallen wizard Albus Dumbledore didn't come out well due to the reflective surface he was behind, but his portrait was quite animated as we gave each other thumbs up.


What I spent my budget on. I also got the knockoff brand of butterbeer. Tonic water, caramel and Irish Cream coffee syrups, and ice. Lots and lots of ice.


My chocolate frog lost its butt.


I finish out the day where I started... getting drunk on the doorstep of Hogwarts.

Here's to getting my book and hoping Harry doesn't die in the rain.

But Ha'Potta Kedavra Week doesn't end until I say it does.

Shut up and don't spoil a thing, mate. I'm not even turning on the TV, especially not to CNN, those motherfuckin' spoilsports are worse than FOX when it comes to keeping a secret.

Plus, I have a nasty hangover (for my twenty-first birthday, NOT for a Harry Potter party).

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
-- T.S. Elliot, "The Hollow Men"

No, I'm not talking about the world ending in a titanic clash between a snake-man/dark lord and a dweeby little scar-kid. I'm talking about the end of our world as we know it. With the end of Harry Potter, how will we fill the void? How will we keep countries from destroying each other over the inevitable death of Hagrid?

Personally, I'm worried how the fanfic'ers will cope. Will those communities dry up after they find out Draco and Harry never snog and Hermione never gets pregnant? Will there be mass suicides?

Will the world economy collapse because of this?

Maybe all bookstores will go out of business, due to all of their owners and employees retiring. But we can still go on! We have Amazon! Though they'll probably retire, too.

We'll just have to try new things. We should reading. Err, you know, different books. And watching movies. Errrrr, different movies. And playing video games... I'm not worried there, no one played the Harry Potter games.

Perhaps get a little sunshine? Natural light is good. The Lumos Charm doesn't provide Vitamin D.

Thinking about it, for public safety, maybe Rowling should be forced to continue the series. No, it should not be about Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Severus. Ms. Rowling, if you're listening to me, never EVER go down that road. It really does lead to the dark side.

Personally, I'd be fine with seeing the founding of Hogwarts, with the four house namesakes battling and working together. It's a prequel, yes, but not one really related to the first story. A story set where four very powerful wizards, ones who invented plenty of spells for themselves, battle it out -- c'mon! They don’t even have to be careful not to hit a skyscraper with a Blasting Curse!

Rowling swears it is done. I pray. Maybe there won't be a Hogwarts Revisited novel in eight years, featuring the Dobby and his family celebrating House Elf Life Day, Minister of Magic Ron and United Wizard Nations Ambassador Hermione having twins, and the ghost of Dumbledore singing scat.

But I am cynical, so I won't be holding my breath with any Bubble-Head Charms. See you at the end of the world.

We all joke about dropping everything and enrolling in Hogwarts. Some of us really did go to Hogwarts. St. Ignatius Magical Prep is an American wizarding school nestled in plain view, 1076 W. Roosevelt Rd. Chicago, IL 60608 (feel free to sign them up for any mailing list you please, now).


Hidden in plain sight.

Oh, don't look so surprised. Everyone knows Jesuits are in league with the forces of witchcraft. Catholic? Ha!

How many schools can claim to be over a hundred years old? Tradition is one of the great cornerstones of such institutions, and Ignatius and Hogwarts share such a mentality. I would not exactly call a certain president a match for Dumbledore, but I'm not, by any means, calling Ignatius and Hogwarts the exact same school. One must make allowances for how the British Ministry of Magic and the US Dept. of Magic run things.

Ignatius and Hogwarts are friggin' castles and museums. Huge libraries with hidden nooks and crannies? Lots of artifacts and old pictures? Certainly. There beautiful chandeliers, you can walk up winding staircases to nowhere, and all the pictures will talk to you, at least once you've spent four years there.

Ignatius flaunts a coat of arms like Hogwarts: odd for an American school to do that? Not if it's a wizarding school!


Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus (Latin: "Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon")?
Or Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam (Latin: "For the Greater Glory of God")?

Now, I have to tell you a ghost story. One is about a guy who got his head mostly chopped off and became Nearly Headless Nick. The other is the founder of Ignatius Magical Prep and resides on the infamous Fifth Floor, which is odd because the school doesn't HAVE a fifth floor... though students swear to it.

Now, I've never sat down to tea (or pranked) with Fr. Damen, but I'm pretty certain I could do so if I met him. He is supposed to be very friendly.

There is only one place to buy your books, and they rip you off every time... though at least Hogwarts has Knockturn Alley for some secondhand books. We have to pray Amazon can apparate them to us the night before that 20-inch scroll is due.

Perhaps some would say the most similarities came when Ministry Toad Dolores Umbridge took over Hogwarts. The Public Displays of Affection and Shirts Tucked In offenses shot through the roof.

So Ignatius and Hogwarts are similar. When did I notice? Junior year, and yes, I did something about my observation. Here now is the only time I'll ever publish the only evidence I've ever written fan fiction: an excerpt from Joe Pacold and the Mathematician's Wand.

"I assume, since you're a student, you'd want a bird?" asked Scritch.

"Yes," answered Joe. Scritch looked just a bit disappointed.

"Over here, then." Scritch led the Pacolds into the middle of what seemed to be a forest. "This is our bird sanctuary."

Colorful birds fluttered overhead. Many pairs of bright eyes peered out of the trees at Joe. A few birds even landed right nearby to get a closer look at the people. Scritch motioned for several large birds to come closer, and they obeyed.

"Well, whatcha think?" Scritch asked hopefully.

"They're emus..." Mr. Pacold said. Joe could see his father was pretty sure Scritch was not accustomed to selling birds to young children. "And those are ostriches... none of those can fly."

"They sure put off bullies, though!" Scritch laughed. "So, not those?"

"Yeah," said Joe.

"How about these?" Scritch pointed at little brownish birds on a nearby tree, tweeting out various songs. One particularly ambitious one had begun a rendition of "My Way."

"The song sparrows? Those would get hernias from letter-carrying," Mr. Pacold said, in a very serious tone. "Besides, who wants to wake up listening to an avian rendition of Sinatra?"

"And these?"

"Do I really want to say what's wrong with a dodo?"

"Point taken," Scritch said, looking agitated by the insistence of Mr. Pacold that these birds would not make good pets. He made a cooing sound, and a scraggly-looking pigeon landed on Scritch's shoulder. "Here we are."

"A pigeon?! You expect my son to use a pigeon?" Mr. Pacold was looking more agitated than Scritch was.

"I assure you that our pigeons are quite clean. And they do blend in around Chicago, I'd have to say."

What about owls?" asked Joe.

"Owls?" Scritch laughed. "Where do you think we are? ENGLAND?"

Another pigeon fluttered down onto Scritch's shoulder. It was pure white. A PIGEON? Joe looked in a little disgust at the moldy bit of sandwich clutched in its beak, and certainly knew it was a pigeon. Other than the garbage, the pigeon glittered like pearl.

"Our resident snowy pigeon... Like her?" Scritch finally seemed hopeful the Pacolds liked something.

Joe threw a confused look at his father. Joe had wanted an owl. Instead, it looked like he"d be getting a pigeon, the kind of thing other kids' pets would eat.

Okay, so this scene doesn't take place in Ignatius. Most of the scenes that I wrote back then were kind of too long or kind of sucked. The scene with the running pack of wolves statue at the front of the school was pretty awesome though (it asked passwords to get into a House dorm), and I planned to make the Wolf Gate into something awesome (and worth the million dollars it cost) as well.

Why did I stop? Because it became too autobiograImeanboastful. It felt arrogant to continue writing, and I think the Pacold family gave a sigh of relief when I called it quits.

And yes, after graduating, I can conjure a full Patronus like any trained graduate of the finest Midwest wizarding preparatory school. Guess what animal it turns out to be? That's right: a binturong. Looks kind of like a teacher with tenure.

J.K. Rowling has avoided the American question all her years. And if I know Americans, they would hate Quidditch (well, probably not, but roll with me here).

This was one thing that I wanted to deal with years ago when I tried to write my Americanized spoof of the books (which you will hear more about later). What would Quidditch be called in America (Quaffleball, Snitcher, or Complete Rubbish, I don't know which)? And how violent would American Quidditch be?

The game would be split into periods. For the sake of guessing, let's say... thirteen periods. Thirteenths. And the field will be 100 furlongs... Hey, in America, bigger is better. Much bigger is much better.

Would there be a Quaffle? I don't know. Americans probably wouldn’t even have names like those. We’d probably just call them Brown and Red Balls. There would be one ball for scoring, possibly an end zone to bring that to (we like those in America).

I suspect the game would involve a lot more Bludgers. Probably ten of them. And we'd call them Guards and Linebackers.

And brooms would be allowed, but not required. Receivers might have those. And wands and dark magic would be allowed. The more violence, the better Wizards' SportsNet would be. Bans on (at least) two of the Unforgivable Curses? Totally lifted, though the Killing Curse might still be a 15-furlong penalty.

Artifacts, potions, and mystical steroids would be tested for. No cheating with outside substances. Magical swords and poleaxes must be approved first, and pine tar on wands can only be up to five inches.

The Quidditch Super World Bowl would take place when one team from the National League and one team from the American League (some things don't change, Muggle or wizard) won their playoffs, and they play against the other for the title of World Champion. Of America.

So maybe this sounds like a post-Apocalyptic movie sport, like Crushball or Bloodsport, but hey, Americans are Americans, no matter what genre you put them in.

Labels: Sports

Anyone feel the Sorting Hat put me in the appropriate house? I, Eaglie, made the Sorting Hat choose Slytherin. It decided I fit in well. Not all Slytherin wizards are bad! And not all bad wizards are Slytherin! Some come from Romania!

Anyway, I could do the obvious thing I do and sort all politicians and celebrities into the houses, but that would just be too... normal of me (they're all Slytherin anyway--see! not funny!).

So what should I do? Stall?

Well, that got me a line or two.

Anway, Slytherin was my choice. I believe there is good in that house, and I feel I can change it by joining plenty of Harry Potter roleplaying communities. I mean, change the evil in the house, not the good. We WANT the good, don't we?

My friend Andy is an anomaly. He is a renegade hero at times, a wit and intelligence unto himself, and sometimes just likes to smell the roses. I don't know which house my comrade belongs in: Griffindork? Retardclaw? Hufflepuff (why change it)?

So I'll just put him in Slytherin and be done with it. We won't corrupt him too quickly.

He might also just be sticking out his tongue... if you look at it in a certain direction.

(:Þ

Well, maybe I like the crazies.

Why would Dumbledore stay dead? Because his death has to have meaning. Why does it have to have meaning? Because Dumbledore is a great wizard. Why is Dumbledore a great wizard? Because wizards did it.

Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter himself) has decided Snape will turn to be the tragic hero.

"One of my theories is stolen from someone else. He thought Snape is going to turn out to be the tragic hero, and I thought that was a really good idea. I think J.K. Rowling would have possibly gone down that route -- but possibly he is pure evil, and we'll all just find out." (Ciaran, MuggleNet. 17 Jul, 2007. http://www.mugglenet.com.)

One can only hope the actor doesn't begin using words like hubris and hamartia.

In fact...

No, no. Snape is not Oedipus, Macbeth, Hamlet, or Othello. Though Alan Rickman should play all of those people sometime in his life... except Othello.

The black guy in the Ministry and Order in the 5th movie was added simply to say, "But you gotta admit, he’s got style."

Someone pointed out that, due to the dating on the books, John Major is the British prime minister in the sixth book. It was his last year in office (1996). The Labour Party (headed by Tony Blair) takes power in the seventh book. Therefore, the Harry Potter series is actually just an allegory for the rise of Tony Blair in British politics. Think about it: the conservative Cornelius Fudge gets put out of power by someone who "looks" right for the position, Rufus Scrimgeour. Tony Blair did the same, mostly because John Major is an ugly jammy git, and Blair is dreamy.

It has also been mentioned that President Clinton is the president from a "far off country" the prime minister will be meeting with shortly. I'm not even going to touch that.

Labels: Politics

Anyone notice the theme of dogs, cats, and rats in the books (and it's played up in the movies)? Dogs in Harry Potter are a symbol of the good. Cats are neutral (both screwing things up and being useful once in a while). Rats are bad. Even werewolves have a symbol of still being "good" in Remus Lupin.

Rowling must be allergic to cats (and rats?).

Labels: Critters

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him..."

And in their 5th year, no less! I never knew how adult these books were getting until I started rereading them!

SPOILERS!!! BUT DON'T WORRY UNLESS YOU DON'T KNOW SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!!! THAT'S THE ONLY SPOILER!!!

Severus Snape: deviously good or Hans Gruber-ly evil? Well, even Orson Scott Card collaborated on a book about it, so why shouldn't I say something?

As much as I want to see Snape ripped to pieces by Norwegian Ridgebacks from the bottom up, I lean to the side of a good Snape. I feel like Rowling would not diminish Dumbledore's power by making Snape truly evil. Dumbledore trusted Snape fully, so how could the man be truly bad?

Also, Harry believes Snape is evil, and Harry always guesses wrong. He always can tell evil is afoot, but his passions lead him to the wrong conclusions. It's a character trait, just like Dumbledore's is to see the greater picture. Even if Snape is evil (I admit there is a chance), Dumbledore's death was meant to happen, as Rowling is not Joss Whedon. Characters don't die in vain.

And Snape, on orders, was just the one to kill Dumbledore. He can't die to Voldemort. That would mean that Voldemort was more powerful, and really, then how could Harry beat the man who beat Dumbledore? Unless Rowling creates a charm that gives Harry superspeed, superstrength, flight, and X-Ray vision. The Kal-El Charm.

And is Dumbledore dead? If you know anything about the "hero's journey", you'd not be asking that question.

Yes. Yes, he is.

I just discovered there is a Mexico, Florida. That's it for your interruption from Harry Potter, all day, all the time.

Hello, and welcome, little wizards and witches! This is the Aviary's Ha'potta' Kadavra Week, and I hope to enlighten during the week leading up to Deathly Hallows Release Eve.

This is the biggest event of all of our lives. Well, maybe not all. I totally apologize for my nerdiness this week to people not involved in reading Harry Potter. A lot of stuff I say will make as much sense as DADA professor keeping his or her job without so much as getting an Imperius Curse placed on them. Just remember: you guys who this doesn't make sense to, you are the future. People like me? Have none.

And I have a banner for the week:


Artwork by M. Dost. Lettering by Cracked PS 7.0.

Before you go calling me a mindless Inferi, I remind you I am only an undead creature in a GAME, a GAME OF WARCRAFT. I am still an elf in real life, thank you very much.

So we're off. Off to read about a final stand for the wizarding world! Off to read a tale of friendship, sacrifice, and heroism! Off to read about the inevitable death of Hagrid*!

And I'll mark this right now so I don't have to for the rest of the week: these are characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. They are being used in a satirical vein, legal under U.S. law. No money is being made either. Plus, I'll probably be stepping on some other publishers' toes. This applies to them**, too.

--Eaglie (Totally Passed a Quizilla Quiz to Be an Auror)

* - Really.

** - Including but not limited to: Detective Comics, National Football League, Major League Soccer, Federation Internationale de Football Association, Saint Ignatius College Preparatory School, the City of Chicago, the Office of the Mayor of the City of Chicago, Cable News Network LP, LLLP., Time Warner, the Ottoman Empire, Blizzard Entertainment, Vivendi Games, Vivendi Universal, Gordon Company, Silver Pictures, Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corp., News Corp., Mutant Enemy Productions, 1013 Productions, MuggleNet, the Elliot family, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, the Penguin Group, Pearson Education, Adobe Systems Incorporated, His Holiness, Vatican City and the Catholic Church, the Municipality of Oak Park, the Office of the Mayor of the Municipality of Oak Park, the Ernest Hemingway Foundation of Oak Park, Cicero & Julius Caesar.

I just noticed that it's Friday the 13th! And, wouldn't you know, I found some pretty unlucky animals! All the site really needs is a rabbit on crutches (having lost a foot, ya know).

(Found through Cute Overload.)

Labels: Critters

This is probably the prettiest gaming system I've ever seen, besides some random fan concept art people drew for the Nintendo Dolphin (clear blue plastic, made rippled).

Labels: Gaming

Hey! The Harry Potter Movie (Number 5!) just came out! I figure I should post something, but because I'm lazy, I'm going to post old stuff I wrote:

J.K. Rowling On Trial Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Wildly Popular Children's Author Put to Death, Cleared on Charges Thursday, July 21, 2005

And the infamous 7th Book Betting Odds, which got me a post deletion from MuggleNet!

Last Saturday was supposedly the luckiest day of the century, but I missed it. No wishing upon a star for me with slightly better odds for once, I guess.

...and believe me, they ARE that weird.

(From Dave.)

By the way, I am yet again going on vacation. I don't know if me and Andy'll be writing something big about our vacation in the sleepy suburb, Silver Lake (in Ohio), but I figure we'll have a story or two to tell anyway.

So I leave you with this: Andy's doppleganger, who we might go see in concert.

Well, now I know where all those meows in unison are coming from.

(Stolen from Cute Overload.)

From: "Marcia_Dost@----.com"
Subj: editors always needed

see below......

>Check out this suggestion I just got-
>

>
>We'll never be obsolete : D
>
>Kristin W...

The different versions, the Aramaic (top) and English (bottom), have a surprisingly similar degree of legibility.


JERUSALEM - Stunning the archaeological, political, and entire world, archaeologists discovered the tatters of ancient scrolls that may be the earliest known copy of the US Constitution. Found in several caverns dotting mountains south of Jerusalem, the find baffled researchers. The fragments appear to be genuine.

They are dated around 2000 years old and written in Aramaic. This explodes the myth the Founding Fathers of the United States wrote the original Constitution.

"This is exciting and will change everything we believe about America," said James S. Snyder, the director of the Israel Museum in Jerusalem. "The 'Who wrote them' debate is going to rage in the scientific community and the American Congress for years."

Who controls the documents is another matter. The Jerusalem Museum currently possesses them. Linguists at the top universities in the world are scrambling to get a peak at the scrolls.

A speedy but accurate translation is vital.

"We could have had it all wrong the last 200-something years. It could mean 'promote the general welfare,' or it could mean 'immigration'. The words are very similar," said Michael Renard, top linguist at Harvard University.

"See this verb? That could change the meaning entirely. And this line, it looks a little like, 'covet thy neighbor's wife'."

There were even the fragments of an embryonic Bill of Rights. The First and Second Amendment generated the most interest.

"'Duty to keep and bear bronze'? What the hell does that mean?" Renard said.

The dating to the 1st Century CE has immediately brought to mind the question of whether Jesus had a hand in them. The place the scrolls were found was an Essenian hiding place.

The Essenes being an ascetic sect of Hebrews that many believe Jesus might have belonged to. They also are widely believed to be the authors of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a similarly earth-shattering discovery in the same region.

Other questions bubble up. First, this might not even be the original copy. There may be older versions. Most ancient manuscripts are simply copies of even older ones.

What about other major documents concerning the founding of the United States? With this find, there might be other sources for the Declaration of Independence.

The United States federal government has not issued a statement about the find. It is expected to within the week. Most expect it to demand possession of the scrolls.

Not everyone believes the find is something beyond a novelty.

"We have to interpret everything for a new age. We can't just go with the literal translation we've had the past two centuries?" said John Paren, an American Politics professor at University of Chicago. "Look, I like attention to accuracy, but if 'We the People' turns out to mean 'game of badminton', I quit." -OAP

Labels: Longer Stuff

In prep for the Fourth, let's have a look at Simon Pegg's take on American humour versus British humor!

So the iPhone is out, and bloggers are buzzing.

But I'm not.

I expect speedier service next time.



For The Aviary:

* hell (12x)
* gay (3x)
* fucking (2x)
* bastards (1x)

For the LJ:

* hell (8x)
* abortion (4x)
* bastards (3x)
* fucking (2x)
* caca (1x)

Apparently, my LJ is more colorful, though "caca" was part of a Celtic band name (though it still might mean what we think it means).

Labels: Language

Both The Aviary and one-true-eaglie.livejournal.com are now...



...for...

* hell (10x)
* bitches (2x)
* fags (1x)

...and...

* hell (6x)
* gay (3x)
* abortion (2x)
* penis (1x)

...respectively. Which is odd because "abortion" and "penis" appeared on the front page with the last tries on that quiz.

Just tells you that the Moral Majority is slipping.

Labels: Language