Who all decided to wait for the summary to read a thing about the State of the Union?

Part of being the best writer you can be is being a part of the world, not just being a pretentious English major.

[18:39] lkilbridge: i talk about dreams too much
[18:40] EaglieHappyToo: eh
[18:40] EaglieHappyToo: i don't get enough dreams... well, i guess i do, i just don't remember
[18:40] EaglieHappyToo: i had a dream yesterday... but i can't remember it for the life of me
[18:40] lkilbridge: ahah
[18:41] lkilbridge: good story
[18:41] EaglieHappyToo: YUP
[18:41] EaglieHappyToo: it was literary goodness
[18:42] EaglieHappyToo: the word "yesterday" is an image of days gone by, remembering youth and condemning the pains of aging
[18:42] EaglieHappyToo: and "life of me" is an American idiom, making note that this author is an American, possibly making reference to the... uh...
[18:42] EaglieHappyToo: American Dream?
[18:43] EaglieHappyToo: And that's what I get for taking a literary theory class
[18:43] lkilbridge: i see
[18:43] lkilbridge: (ahahhah)
[18:44] EaglieHappyToo: actually, i'm surprised how long it took me to get to the theme of the American dream
[18:44] EaglieHappyToo: That's what scares me

Kevin Federline controvesy continues

The thing I find the funniest was that I was one of the people that saw him showing off that song for the first time on... I think it was Entertainment Tonight?

I'm in an updating flurry today, due to my lack of it the past weeks. This is old news, but I just found a video for it:

Golden Palace Ad On Pregnant Belly

Seeing Pacman's post about Google in China, I had to weigh in. Google has been in a battle, you know, for free speech. Just after defying the US government in turning over search data, Google adhered to Chinese laws by creating a censored Chinese version of Google.

Personally, the First Amendment is the most important part of all the Constitution, and I was thrilled when Google shot down the US gov. When I heard about China, I had very mixed feelings. However, I suppose it is in an attempt to follow Chinese law. However, it's one of those things that China will eventually have to get over to, you know, reach some form of "People's Republic."

Here's one last article from BBC on it, testing the extent of the censorship: Google's Chinese results toe the line

Why this man is taking over The Tonight Show

(Thanks to JPac)

Nintendo geeks in love

Blizzard of GLBT gaming policy questions

May I just make note that one of the cited "gay guilds" is called The Spreading Taint?

Sometimes, you really wish obscenity standards hadn't been lowered.

Popozoa

Not gonna ask who started it, or even if it's true, but it's a good one ripped from a facebook wall (which means it had to have been copied a minimum of 329 times before reaching that position in life):

"This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed.
It appeared in "The Atlanta Journal."

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a
very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter
nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of
your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing
only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy. I'll be
waiting...

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black Labrador Retriever. (Men are so easy!)"

Hey, they opened Ahn'Qiraj in WoW! Time for Horde and Alliance to go back to hating each other.

Ascent's Description

Usually I don't like giving WoW news here, but some of the pics are pretty cool.

VW Ad

German cars are now a necessity in the war on terror, or so the ad makes me think.

(Get Google Video)

ZOMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE SPECIAL TO US ALL, ESPECIALLY ME!

Wow, the Bears sucked. Kudos to Rex Grossman (slightly... he still threw too much)... but shame on that whole defense.

On to baseball again, Chicago... sigh.

Labels: Sports

OH! And here's something fun I found a while ago... by Scott Adams on his blog:

Humor Formula

Also, by the way:

The One-Eyed Kitten Controversy has turned heated! Bloggers are reaching for the guns:

Bloggers eyeball cyclops kitten story

It's funny... the year I choose to say, screw politicians and the parties and whatnot, they're just corrupt... I find out my favorite writer has been doing that all along:

Dave Barry - Elegy for the humorist

Though I suppose I could've guessed he was libertarian.

WTF GRIEFERS?!

Perspective: Create an e-annoyance, go to jail
Go to jail for being annoying online

Not exactly non-biased sources, but that's tough to find online. Personally, I agree. It does completely break the First Amendment. I could be sued! Millions of poor, disenfranchised Flowers could be jailed! But law enforcement will take one look at this law and say, fuck, what does "annoy" constitute? And then they'll go chase after the real criminal that stole their badge the second they were thinking about all this.

Anyway, it's pretty stupid, and I'm not very worried. I grief, therefore I am.

P.S. Yes, there is a good explanation... not unbiased, but a good FAQ nonetheless.

Jesus turned to the crowds and said, "I have another tale."

"There once was a man hit by a stray bullet at a bus stop. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, and no one was out and about. Except a few gang members who had woken up early to shoot each other, though unfortunately for our man, the gang members were terrible shots."

"The man lay there at the stop, no buses coming. In fact, the man had just missed the last bus, and then next one wasn’t scheduled for another half hour. The man had to wait now, though: he really didn’t have a choice."

"The man began shouting for help, hoping someone would notice. Another man walked by. He was a registered Democrat, and he ran over to the men, reached into the pocket, and grabbed the wallet. The Democrat ran off, gleefully shouting ‘Tax and spend! Tax and spend!’ as he disappeared into the Caribou Coffee several storefronts down."

"Of course, more people were getting out of church, and another walked by, a Libertarian the way his father raised him. The Libertarian walked right by the bleeding man. There wasn’t a reason to stop to help with this man’s problem. The Libertarian had his own problems, and so did the man. He could deal with it himself."

"Later, two Republicans walked up to the stop, hoping to get on the bus. The two Republicans finally noticed the weakened body when the blood began to pool around the one’s shoe. Gasping, he rushed over to the body and called an ambulance. The other stayed motionless in his spot and got on his bus on time. The Republican that stayed sat with the bleeding man, keeping him alive and safe as long as he could. The man told him of the Democrat and Libertarian. The Republican was intrigued they wouldn’t help, though he couldn’t help but feel superior, until he remembered his Republican counterpart’s actions."

"When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics pronounced the man dead. He had just not made it. The next day, for the Democrat’s, Libertarian’s, and even his fellow Republican’s actions. He tore up the card stating he was a registered Republican, and went downtown to change his registration."

"This was the tale of the good Republican—now the good Independent."

Jesus looked up at his crowd. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... politics and the parties that run them are substitutes for thinking. They don’t matter. God bless America!"

Post Magazine: Dave Barry's Year in Review (An Interview)

Number 1: That's not Dave's Year in Review; it's a chat with him. You can find his Year in Review here.

Number 2: You now really need Miami Herald, Washington Post, NY Times, Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times accounts for this site. I'm not gonna apologize if you can't get to things from those sites that I can. I have the free accounts, too, ya know.

Humanity looks to the Gregorian New Year as a sign that things will get better. Of course, then we realize how stupid that is when we wake up in the New Year with the worst hangover since last St. Patrick's Day and/or Cinco de Mayo.

Does this mean what you think it means? Really? Really? Really? Yup. It means...

EAGLIE'S FOUR HORSEMEN OF 2005 AWARDS

Every year, I choose the four men, women, organizations, and/or weather patterns that gave us another shove toward Revelations. And it's funny, 2005 was starting to look like the number of the Beast... which just, on a side note, makes me wonder how many Christians back in 665 A.D. expected New Year's to be the end of the world.

This year had so many choices. Everyone was clamoring to their spot on this list. Even Michael Jackson, after a year's absence, made a run. However, he didn't quite make it (which might be a sign of the Apocalypse in itself). Instead, another girl made herself the leader of the Horsemen in one fell swoop/hurricane season.

Because who did more damage than Mother Nature herself? Gaia whacked the crap out of Indonesia right before the end of last year, giving that country a whole lot to do for 2005. And everyone reading this, I can imagine (besides several web-surfing programmed bots that have no emotions) can think of Hurricane Katrina, bringing New Orleans, one of the jewels of the United States, and the rest of the Gulf Coast to a standstill. Don't forget how many hurricanes actually came about in the Atlantic/Gulf. We made it to Epsilon (number 14). And did I mention it's thunderstorming outside my house as I write this? Mother Nature, I name you Death, my Horse(wo)man.

In a less depressing choice, my Horseman of War: a war is coming... North and South, brother against brother, the rematch. But it's not what you think, unless you live in Chicago. Then you know exactly what I mean. North Side, South Side. Cubs, White Sox. And what all started this? Ozzie Guillen, the manager, winning the White Sox a World Series.

And what does this mean for the rest of the world? The alignment of Major League Baseball's World Series into one Apocalyptic moment has begun. To explain: the Cubs won their last World Series in 1908. Then got cursed. The White Sox won their last Series in 1917, nine years later. Then got a Black Sox scandal. The Red Sox won their Series in 1918, a year later. Then got cursed by a Bambino, whatever the heck that is.

Like a rubberband, it is coming back. The Red Sox won and broke their curse; the White Sox won the year after (this year), living down the Black Sox scandal. God help us when the Cubs win in nine years, completing the cycle and causing the Rapture. Jesus will want some peanuts and crackerjacks, so save him some.



Goddamn you, Ozzie Guillen, the Horseman of War, for being good at what you do.

Pestilence was not a tough choice. Who didn't cheer for Avian Flu to get this award? Yep, we actually had a plague this year, looking to go Biblical. Thankfully, Avian Flu didn't reach the United States this year. All the birds were killed by hurricanes.

And who brings up the rear? The Horseman of Famine! This one is the man with the plan, the man working in the backfield for Mother Nature, the man without the relief helicopters: the director of FEMA, Michael Brown! He kept the food, money, and pretty much any major relief out of New Orleans. And President Bush refused aid from most of the known world, knowing PERFECTLY well the US could handle a little hurricane damage! Haha! Everything added to Brown's success, earning him the title of Famine.

So here's to 2006, and here's a prayer for the real Apocalypse to come soon. Maybe less people'll die in that.

Labels: Four Horsemen, Longer Stuff