Eaglie's Aviary

Saturday, January 07, 2006


Jesus turned to the crowds and said, "I have another tale."

"There once was a man hit by a stray bullet at a bus stop. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon, and no one was out and about. Except a few gang members who had woken up early to shoot each other, though unfortunately for our man, the gang members were terrible shots."

"The man lay there at the stop, no buses coming. In fact, the man had just missed the last bus, and then next one wasn’t scheduled for another half hour. The man had to wait now, though: he really didn’t have a choice."

"The man began shouting for help, hoping someone would notice. Another man walked by. He was a registered Democrat, and he ran over to the men, reached into the pocket, and grabbed the wallet. The Democrat ran off, gleefully shouting ‘Tax and spend! Tax and spend!’ as he disappeared into the Caribou Coffee several storefronts down."

"Of course, more people were getting out of church, and another walked by, a Libertarian the way his father raised him. The Libertarian walked right by the bleeding man. There wasn’t a reason to stop to help with this man’s problem. The Libertarian had his own problems, and so did the man. He could deal with it himself."

"Later, two Republicans walked up to the stop, hoping to get on the bus. The two Republicans finally noticed the weakened body when the blood began to pool around the one’s shoe. Gasping, he rushed over to the body and called an ambulance. The other stayed motionless in his spot and got on his bus on time. The Republican that stayed sat with the bleeding man, keeping him alive and safe as long as he could. The man told him of the Democrat and Libertarian. The Republican was intrigued they wouldn’t help, though he couldn’t help but feel superior, until he remembered his Republican counterpart’s actions."

"When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics pronounced the man dead. He had just not made it. The next day, for the Democrat’s, Libertarian’s, and even his fellow Republican’s actions. He tore up the card stating he was a registered Republican, and went downtown to change his registration."

"This was the tale of the good Republican—now the good Independent."

Jesus looked up at his crowd. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... politics and the parties that run them are substitutes for thinking. They don’t matter. God bless America!"