Eaglie's Aviary

Eaglie's Aviary

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Spam isn't a vegetable.

Friday, December 31, 2004

posted by Eaglie at 6:28 PM

Yes, it is almost the New Year. And c'mon... all of you know what time it is then: and it's not just apologizing for throwing up a gallon of cheap champagne on that cute girl or guy's shoes: it's time again for...

EAGLIE'S 2ND ANNUAL FOUR HORSEMEN AWARDS***... THIS TIME FOR 2004!

2004 was one of the most political years on record. Everyone talked politics, politics, politics, and a few of them lost teeth in the process.

Other people this year just stole money, lied about it, or lied about other people stealing the money. Bringing us to Martha Stewart. The woman that could make anything out of moldy banana peels and prison drapes finally got her chance to shine (perhaps a dress for someone cute in Cell Block G?). She was convicted of insider trading, which personally sounds more like a crime George Steinbrenner should be convicted of.

Hmmmm... George Steinbrenner? The Yankees' Crimelord/Owner? A fearless man, yes... but there is a man in his nightmares, a man that takes the title of second Horseman: Red Sox pitcher Curt Shilling! The Red Sox seriously won the World Series? Holy crap! They've been cursed for years by that pesky Bambino! Babe Ruth is rolling in his grave right now. If only the Cubs could win the pennant... then God would hit Ctrl+Alt+Del on the universe. Twice to reboot.

And yes, I said it was a political year. That's why our Third Horseman is Ralph Nader! The man didn't screw the Democrats this year (and the next four years)! They screwed themselves! Well... Ohio helped, too.

So, Happy New Year from Eaglie and the staff of Oasis Alliance Studios, and...

*** - these four awards go to the most deserving individuals (or political bodies, since I fudged my definition this time) who pushed us all just a LITTLE bit closer to our certain perilous dooms.

Labels: Four Horsemen, Longer Stuff