Eaglie's off vacationing for a few days (again?!?!), so you can reach him, if you wish, through his Yahoo! email. Maybe he can email you back while he's out there.

STOP TEMPTING ME, meganluv24j4!

Anyone notice that lately all the AIM porn spammers are named Meghan?

The Baccalaureate Mass reflection that Andy did, for those who want to see the original copy... this is almost exactly what he spoke:

My name is Andrew Dost, member of the class of 2004.

But are you a member of the class of 2004? Take this simple quiz and find out! Do you: (A) Remember the infamous pep assembly of tennis balls; (B) Remember Mr. Byrne’s ceramic piggy bank; (C) Remember the final Walk at St. Ignatius; or (D) Have a class ring that says “2004” on it.

Sure, you could be told about these things. Or you could’ve been a shadow and seen them. Or Josten’s could forge that class ring for you…

But that’s beside the point. We have a lot of memories stored up, and we all have our Firsts here at Iggy. I remember my first class here, Intro to Tech during the summer.

I also remember the first time I got lost here… Intro to Tech during the summer. And then the second time lost, following Charlie Lucas up to Speech that same day. We got advice from a helpful senior: “Room 464? Oh man, you gotta hike…”

Some good came from a hard-to-find speech class. I made my first Ignatius friends, including the person who proved to me that I could make friends here: Zam, a person who chooses to spell his name with three letters instead of the standard Polish 37-letter name.

Another good memory: the time I wandered into Room 258 one fateful Tuesday, sophomore year. Content to watch some Improv and, above all else, not get involved, wasn’t I rudely awakened when I was sent up on stage to do object work. The rest is history. I made my best friends, and received my worst bruises from the performing art of Improvisational Theatre.

My first dance… hmm… Turnabout sophomore year. Yes, you remember that. The driving around, the deep dish pizza on Sarah’s lap, the actual dance…There’re also service trips: remember Harlan, KY, my fellow COAP alums, and my incessant journaling throughout the trip?

I cannot count on my hands the number of birthdays, performances, and dances I’ve been to now in these four years. Or the number of times I’ve struck out, in the dating sense, the past four years.

Ignatius taught me to be who I am. Pressure reveals exactly who you are, and God truly knows we’re counted among the most pressured students in the world. Show of hands, who here took more than one AP test this year? …I thought so.

What have I learned from pressure? I came into Ignatius a soft-spoken boy, afraid of podiums, spotlights, and microphones. Now I can be pretty loud-mouthed, talkative, and annoying… you know, jump around the stage, flail around. Hey, and there’s no more fear of public speaking! I took this job I’m doing right now, didn’t I?

The greatest assets of St. Ignatius are the people. Seriously, sappiness aside, people here are the reason to go through all the pressure. Anyone here can just as easily find themselves in a heated political argument as a deep discussion of the hottie two pews behind you. We have our humor as well as our seriousness: we all learn to have these. From this, many of us have lifelong friends within these hallowed halls.

And for the icing on the cake, I learned from Raymond how much paper it takes to make a miniature dragon out of student handbooks.

Now, that we’re here reminiscing, we can see what time we’ve reached. Maybe we aced a final. Or had a beautiful prom date. Yes, these are all signs that we’ve reached a time, a time where we need to add the word “final” to everything. Final game, final concert, final show… here we are at a final mass! So, my advice: we keep the world of Ignatius lifelong as much as humanly possible. We are the class of 2004, and we’ve got rings to prove it. Thank you.

It's May... and it's prom season! Tonight, we're going to unleash our fashion experts and teach the world the meaning of "Armani tuxedo."

Our experts have come up with the prom fashions of the year for those boys out there. If you are considering prom and you truly want that snazzy "I-know-bupkis-about-fashion-but-these-guys-sure-do" look, then you've come to the right roost:

First off, there is the traditional tuxedo. You all know what it looks like. Thus, we're skipping to the more non-traditional fashions of this prom season:


This catchy suit is a bargain at bargain price! You really can show your date you don't follow those stuffy traditions of society with this cheap but slick bargain suit!
$39.435 rental


There's no better way to tell your date's parents your date is in safe hands than by showing them this suit of fashionable plate armor. Blessed at the Vatican by blind Tibetan monks and rabbis, and also consecrated by several randomly chosen different religions, it's holy too! You won't be taking that man's daughter to the local Sleep 'N' Leave, tonight, nosirree!
$2599.95 rental (But think of the current price of condoms!)
*$500 No-Tarnish Deposit required in addition


This is the opposite of our mildly unpopular Paladin model. This is the "I-mean-business" formal wear. If you want to tell your date "I can swagger and rape with the best of them," we recommend this model.
$279.99 rental
*Upgrade to this model: Viking outfit, with Battle Axe and Horn of Gondor accessories
$599.98 rental

Just remember: any tuxedo looks snazzy, but it takes the right person to look truly cool in one.


Sometime later, we'll have the ladies' selections!

How anti-climatic has it been? Very. I just was at school forever today, getting every loose end tied up. And most people left school the day before.

The other anticlimax we've had is all the drama. I am reasserting the position of my code of conduct for the Aviary: No drama here! There will be no discussion here of ANY offenses I have committed or that anyone else has committed. There is enough of it in the world. Go to any of the livejournals on the sidebar. You can get your juicy fill there. And if you have ANYTHING to say to me about it, say it to me in person, by email, by AIM, or through my handy dandy new DRAMAFILTER. Enjoy it.

Before I return to form completely, I sense there is some need to say something: You all mean the world to me. Don't for one second think you were the only person touched by the school... St. Ignatius meant the world to me; it brought out who I truly am, the person writing here. Please, do not drift from me. It would break an elf's heart, and seriously, that's deadly for immortals.

One more thing: send me your email addresses. Project Wolfpack Oasis will be out of the hangar by graduation, and I should need them for messages (actually, I probably already have them all, but just to make sure).

I promise my own material will start appearing again... but you must wait slightly longer:

It's been a bitch to update doing everything. Well, might as well give an update from the life of a senior winding down.

The winddown since Spring Break has been:

Andy scored a great victory, asking a certain Irish hottie to prom.

Andy then had to face the reality that Burdulis would not be in the Improv show, while George, the mentor, would not be the leader of Improv anymore.

Next, Andy had to brave a fight for prom tickets and tables. And has royally fucked up. Pope Corky would probably not disagree.

All the while, Andy's been trying to keep up with homework.

But Andy also conned previously mentioned "Irish Hottie" into seeing the Improv show "5-Second Delay." The only speaking between them was a few hello's and a helluva lotta goodbye's, unfortunately. But she saw a kickass show. Maybe today she'll be more open about how the show was (not that she's ever an open person). And Andy covered her with silly string like anyone with a healthy crush would do.

Saturday's show owned. So did Friday's. And Thursday's could've been better, but it did have one of Andy's better Fairy Tale Genre games.

All Andy could do was kiss the stage and walk out of the empty theater. The reign of Dost in Ignatius Improv is over.

Victory is within everyone's reach.

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear the Avi-aryyyy...
Happy birthday to me!

It's been one year! It says May 4 is the birthday of the Aviary, but... you know... well... hmm... fuck you.

For those who remember, this blog started when a certain enticing female showed me her blog. That night, Eaglie got an idea: follow the lead of the hot chick! RAWR! Redheads!

So, essentially, Eaglie began his new endeavor as a columnist. Hopefully Eaglie will become a better worker by the next birthday or two of his Aviary. In the meantime, keep reading and praying for better articles, commentaries, and pictures from everyone's favorite elf, Sorondil (the Elven name of Eaglie... it's like Mithrandir).

Maeple sent me this today. There were a heckuva lot of forwards on it.


Subj: Fw: GREAT PICTURE
Date: 4/30/04 8:46:28 PM Central Daylight Time

From: ...
To: ...


----- Original Message -----
From: ...
To: ...
Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2004 8:54 PM
Subject: Fw: GREAT PICTURE


To: ...
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 18:42:10 EDT
Subject: GREAT PICTURE
Message-ID: ...


READ THE BLACK PATCH UNDER THE US FLAG;


This SHOULD be on the front cover of Time, Newsweek, etc.

But it won't.

Let's you and I "put it there" by forwarding this all around the world (so to speak)!

(The flags are France, Germany, and Russia)-- in case you don't know..


Hmmmm... anyone feel like criticizing it first? Nevermind, I got first dibbs.

Know why you don't see this on Time or Newsweek? Because they're real news sources! They don't put fake pictures on their covers (Wouldn't put it past the New York Times, though). At least when liberals doctor pics, we make it funny.