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Saturday, February 03, 2007
The teams playing are the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts. I’m sure you already knew if you’re from within 200 miles of Lake Michigan (or from New Orleans!), but I figured that the rest of the people in the world might care to finally know, too. Indianapolis and Chicago, being located so close to each other geographically, have been rivals for years, though neither city knew until about two weeks ago. Now, we’re bitter over the border we share. Next July, Illinois cops might just have to stop watching the Wisconsin fireworks stores and focus on the more insidious Indiana merchants. Maybe we’ll build a border fence. I think, personally, that the citizens of Miami are rooting for the Bears. Why should they? Why not? Miami’s greatest enemy, the Communist government of Cuba, lays southeast of Miami. Chicago’s enemy, Indianapolis, also happens to fall in the same direction. It is about 228 miles to Havana from Miami. That’s only 64 miles more than the distance between Chicago and Indy! Absolutely chilling! The Colts have gone forever without a Super Bowl. The last time they got to be in one, they got humiliated by Joe Namath and the New York Jets. Last time we were in one, no one could name a player from the team we played (whatever team that was). And the score was 46-10, in our favor. Clear advantage: the Bears. Historically, the Colts suck. But why couldn’t they turn it around? Most teams do stop sucking at some point. But let’s look at the facts: the vaunted match-up is really the Colts’ offense and the Bears’ defense. The Bears defense runs a Cover-2, which means something along the lines of covering two. The defense was widely considered the best in the league until the last few games, when they began falling asleep on the 40-yard line and getting arrested. It took that for the best defense in the league to get beaten. They face the Colts’ offense, though, also considered one of the greatest offenses of all time. Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is the center of that offense. However, Sunday morning, if all goes according to schedule, a few key players will wake up next to Manning’s disembodied limbs. The coach’ll get the head. Speaking of coaches, the biggest deal is that this is the first Super Bowl that a team’s head coach is black. Many things like this come in twos, so why shouldn’t both coaches (the Colts’ Tony Dungy and the Bears’ Lovie Smith) be black? There is nothing funny about this milestone. The Midwest cometh Sunday, Miami. Chicago and Indy, neighbors, border-sharers, and rivals, ready to take Dolphin Stadium as their own and to hug that shiny trophy. Hopefully, Miami can make our teams feel at home, and the losers (e.g. the Colts) will find some good company in a dumpster. Prediction: Bears 402, Colts MIA Labels: Longer Stuff, Sports |
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