Monday, July 14, 2008
Ignore my silly question-title: John McCain doesn't need to step aside for new blood and retire already. However, 100 Packers fans, terrible people in all senses of the phrase, stayed outside Lambeau Field, signs all proclaiming, "Favre for President!" and "Four more years!"
Perhaps my title has more ironic worth than I expected.
You might just say this old Bears' fan fears the grim specter of Favre. I say, I'll fear him again when the rivers run green and gold in Chicago, which only half-happens and is only once a year. Trust that an eternally sworn enemy can say it better than a friend. A friend might hold up an encouraging sign. Expect the enemy to tell you how idiotic it is--so here it is:
Michael Jordan's comeback (the one that was to a completely new team) made his career into a punchline rather than a force. Magic Johnson's comeback was pretty inconsequential. As was Mario Lemieux's second time crawling into the skates. Not everyone's comeback is ending like Michael Jordan's not-fade-away-jumper for a double-threepeat.
Brett, honey, baby, evil genius (I'm trying flattery here): please, don't return. Especially not to a new team. You played as long as Dan Marino. You won a Super Bowl. You broke the records, even that interceptions one you coveted. You beat your rivals over and over.
Retire. Buy stock. Get a cushy diplomatic gig or mayoral job (I'm sure Oshkosh and probably a few other sillily named Wisconsin boondocks would have elections just to elect you). Go out with dignity.
Of course, I'd rather not see your 400th touchdown anytime soon either. Go out with dignity, yours and mine, please.