Eaglie's Aviary

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The NFC Championship of Sappy Story Lines

The Brett Favre's Minnesota Vikings and the New Orleans Saints play today to decide who goes to that spectacle of spectacles, Thunderdome--I mean, the Super Bowl. These are two grand story lines of adversity: Brett Favre's age and New Orleans' hurricane. I don't know which I want to hear about less.

Brett Favre is 40 years old. He's retired and come back three years in a row. He's playing for a blood rival to his old team that he won a Super Bowl with (the Packers). He would be the oldest quarterback to play in the Super Bowl ever. What's not to despise? I can't think of anything worse than Favre going to the Super Bowl. Except if a 23-year-old rookie named Mark Sanchez also makes into the Super Bowl as the youngest quarterback ever. Oh, and maybe if the Saints win today.

Hurricane Katrina happened over four years ago, leaving thousands of New Orleans residents homeless. I swear I am not a fan of this. But it means we have to watch depressing images and sappy feel-good rebuilding stories every minute of the day on ESPN. Ugh. Sure, it could cut into Haiti's airtime. But it could also mean we'll have double the squalor and pop benefits on TV. I can't think of anything worse. Except maybe listening to AARP wax about Brett Favre until February 7 if the Vikings win today.

ESPN, in the two weeks coming up to the Super Bowl, will paste these story lines onscreen 24/7. So will every other news agency, even TMZ. And one must happen. One must win. I can't think of much worse.

Still, there is a bright side. There is a very fun drinking game pending for the Super Bowl, no matter who loses today.