Eaglie's Aviary

Friday, February 20, 2009

Of COURSE You're Not in Obama's Control Group

Everyone talks about the stimulus package like expert doctors. Some say it's an ointment but not a cure. Some call it a cure (the President). Others talk of it being a placebo, in this market-based economy of ours.

But what if it really was a placebo? I don't mean if it pumped sugar and nothing else into the economy. What if Obama just said he was putting a stimulus package into the economy? He signed this sugar pill of a bill on Tuesday, but what if that was a ruse, and we're all part of the control group?

Here's the scenario: no money goes into the economy, the infrastructure, anywhere. It's all fake, a feel-good spending-and-tax cuts bill, that costs the nation nothing (except the ink in Pres. Obama's pen: about $2 billion). And don't you know it, the stock market soars! Everyone's riding high! Everyone's going: buy! Buy! BUY! BUYBUYBUY!!! How much for golden egg futures?! Put it all on Snake Oil!

That's how it'll be. A utopia. You know, until the inevitable crash of civilization two weeks later. This isn't your "5-Hour-Energy" stimulus package.