Eaglie's Aviary

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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Huberman Switching Tracks
posted by Eaglie at 5:20 PM

A businessman with no public transit experience became a head of the transit authority. And then that head of the transit authority with no education experience became head of the public schools. In celebration of this highly American, and even more Chicagoan, occasion, I listened in on Chicago Public School Customer Service with Ron Huberman at the helm, two years in the future:

Administrator:
Chicago Public Schools.
Concerned Parent:
Yes, my son Johnny was left back last year. I wanted to ask about this letter describing this mandatory "Express education."
Admin:
Of course. "If a student is held back more than once, he or she will go 'Express' for a year to get them back on schedule."
Parent:
Okay. I can get behind that. But why will he be in fifth grade the next year? He was only going to be in third grade.
Admin:
Well, fifth grade seemed like the best choice to drop him off. It is one of our most used grades.
Parent:
Well, how can he get back to the grade he should be in?
Admin:
We'll just have to leave him back a few times.
Parent:
Wouldn't that put him back on Express education?
Admin:
That is very possible.

Admin:
Chicago Public Schools.
Concerned Parent #2:
Hi, I was wondering about my daughter Carol's math scores. She is not doing so well all around. She's a hard worker, but doesn't get everything. However, she's doing terrible with math scores, and I don't even see a grade for math on her report cards. Not for the last two quarters, anyway.
Admin:
Yes, I can answer that--math is under construction, so for the next two years, all math students will run on the science, social studies, and reading tracks. We apologize for that inconvenience.

Admin:
Chicago Public Schools.
Concerned Parent #3:
Yes, there's a new bill at my door from you guys. A fine?
Admin:
Well, eating or drinking in the hallways is a finable offense. All infractions are now, in fact, finable. Your son should eat less Ho Ho's.
Parent 3:
No detentions anymore?
Admin:
Not cost-effective. They didn't even help stem the infractions. We assume the anger of parents ponying up will be more effective.
Parent 3:
Not half bad logic, if insane. And I must pay this off, how?
Admin:
Payment by Chicago Card is still possible. Just add money to it, and scan it at the door of your child's school, but I must warn you that there is no more 10 percent bonus.

Labels: Chicago

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