Eaglie's Aviary

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Grand Theft Hamburger Stand IV

Tried GTA IV, finally. Everyone's been talking nonstop about it, and I figured hype might catch up with me. I am a very impressionable young eaglet, always falling to peer pressure.

What were my impressions of the game? Rockstar Games got grit down, finally. Playing it for four hours, I saw NO bright yellow Beetles to steal. There are few clown cars, and ice cream trucks are dirtier than they usually are. Disregarding this lack of pedophiles, the series has swum further toward realism. I could plow into lightpole after lightpole with my ambulance (I stole that about five minutes into my playtime). Then a tree and an "on" ramp stopped me dead, right through the front windshield.

I horrified my spectators that had never seen a Grand Theft Auto (Andy's mom and dad), realizing I was driving an ambulance and that I was clearly not an EMT. But, I said, you can pretty much be whatever you want to be in this game. This is Liberty City, U.S.A. It's a free country. Yes, taking a page from Scarface and The Godfather Pt. 2, GTA IV is about the downtrodden immigrant, searching for a new life and pummeling the cops in his way beyond dental recognition.

I was certainly gleeful in my sprees, and discovered that stars (the rating for how much a police force wants to run to catch you) are much harder to earn. I pulled together two stars as a personal best before I was arrested, and was subsequently arrested four more times in front of the police station until I learned to hold off on the violence until I've at least turned a corner. The hamburger vendor sure learned a lesson though.

The owner of the system, Andy's sister, chided me and picked up the controller and pulled off four stars without breaking a sweat. I was silenced. So were Andy's parents. Later in multiplayer, I saw the attempt at five stars using grenades and RPGs. Unfortunately, nothing could motivate the cops that much, even high explosives and heavy sniper fire from alleys.

So my final thoughts? Try it. Save up and buy it yourself--that goes double for Andy, who I'm certain won't be getting an Xbox for graduation.