Eaglie's Aviary

Monday, March 31, 2008

A Town of Cynical Optimists*

An ESPN contributor gave a prediction yesterday: the Cubs will beat the Indians to claim the 2008 World Series trophy. He did this all without a smirk.

Only a man unversed in rooting for the Cubs could dream of a situation they could win. Cubs fans' dreams go as far as the bottom of the eighth, when the American League victor invariably scores seven runs off two Cubs errors. For some reason, all those dreams end the same, and we have exactly 100 years of those dreams behind us.

The last time the Cubs won a World Series was before Prohibition (a sad state of affairs to come AFTER the last time the Cubs won), before the Titanic sank (an omen), and a little before the first time Kerry Wood injured his elbow.

Vegas tells us the betting odds. Reality tells us the real odds. Generations of fans have died without seeing a Cubs victory. We are the cynical optimists.

How are we optimistic, though? We sound like the puppy left out in the rain that grows up and joins a pack of vicious wild dogs to escape the horrible loneliness. All the other vicious wild dogs eventually get adopted, and we're stuck as the lone wild dog, out in the rain again. At this point, we're violent, and we hate people, losing, and mailmen. Yet the puppy in us still comes out when we see that plate of spaghetti left out for us in the alley behind Tony's.

We still cheer, we still go to games, and we never totally give up. It's the opposite of a Hollywood film: we know the ending, but we still think it's possible we’ll pull it off and the good guys will win.

Optimism comes in different forms than a trophy. We're one of the few original baseball teams left. We still have Wrigley Field, named Wrigley Field. And we're better than the Sox AND Cardinals this year. So there will always be something to be thankful for.

Happy Opening Day and Anniversary, my beautiful Cubs and Cubs fans!

Cubs Fan

* - This article can be sung to Steve Goodman's tune, A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request



God can't be a Cardinals fan. Why? Well, not many people know this, but God did not actually will the creation of St. Louis. See, the real St. Louis snuck "a city in my honor" into his indulgence expense report and St. Matthew missed it when he was going through the accounts. So when God finally found out about it, he said, ok fine, I may not be able to reverse it, but I can make that the shittiest city on Earth...well, after Detroit--that was in the divine plan from the start.
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