Sigh. I lack my original document, so instead I'll give you a quick rundown of my review (which was awesome).
- Alex, a frequent Aviary contributor, reviewed it for me in text message: "lol, whuh."
- Alex would later tell me how the movie would further serve to ignite the culture wars, except that any blowhard who's read the poem won't be seeing the movie.
- I thought to myself, wow, I'm going to see it.
- I thought the fight with Grendel was great. The fire thing? A bit much. The hearing thing? Cool, though would Beowulf really try to destroy Grendel's ears if his hearing is his only weakness?
- Old English?! The monster spoke in Old English!
- But none of the characters can pronounce Old English worth a damn. "SCOP" is not pronounced with a "k" as "SKOP." It's pronounced "SHOP." GET YOUR STUFF RIGHT, IDIOTS!
- If those are my only complaints, it's a good experience so far.
- Something bad is coming, and her name is Angelina Jolie.
- Beowulf goes into Grendel's Mother's Lair, and all Hell breaks loose. My mind officially leaves the theater at this point.
- The Dragon is really cool, but the information tying him into this movie make me want to follow my brain out the door.
- The Dragon is really an Oscar statue?
- WTF! GRENDEL'S MOM W... no, no spoilers here. Really. I'll give you the real review sometime... maybe.
- The pop ballad in the credits... that's all I'm sayin'.
Labels: Review
