Monday, June 28, 2004
God Grumbles Skeptically as US Appears to Keep Promise
CHICAGO - In the very early morning today in the Midwest, a low rumbling was felt. During the shaking, many awoke with the same statement: "What the fuck? A earthquake in the fucking Midwest?"
However, many soon realized it was only God, as they heard news of the United States' handing of power to the Iraqi interim government. The US decided to surprise the Iraqi people by giving them their freedom two days earlier than scheduled. God was heard only to sigh and just grumble slightly, jarring a normally flat, stable region of the world.
"I mean, honestly. Some of my seraphim and cherubim were saying, 'Hey, that's a good thing, though!' All I could do was laugh. The US doesn't seriously think that anyone will believe that interim government is legit and free right now, right? Unfortunately, the laugh killed seven hikers in the Himalayas."
President Bush declined to comment on God's remarks.