Eaglie's Aviary

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Gather 'Round and Hear the Tale, the Tale of the Dread Gazebo

Eric and the Dread Gazebo
A hilarious tale of Dungeons and Dragons...

© Copyright 1985, Richard Aronson. Used without permission, but without profit. Maybe they'll understand?

In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson.

Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.

Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:
ED You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC A gazebo? What color is it?
ED (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC How far away is it?
ED About 50 yards.
ERIC How big is it?
ED (Pause) It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC (Pause) I call out to it.
ED It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ERIC (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
ED It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is.

Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. A little vocabulary is a dangerous thing.

(I know this is 10KBC, but bear with me. I felt like posting it. And the website I found it?)