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Saturday, November 20, 2004
To the Pacman: the state you're in is crazy.
To the rest of us: we're all crazy. Crazy as loons. Both from hoosiergazette.com Hostettler mounting campaign to change the name of Interstate 69 By August Wayne, THG News John Hostettler, the Congressman representing the 8th district of Indiana, has been convinced by local religious groups to introduce legislation in the House that would change the name of an Interstate 69 extension to a more moral sounding number. There are plans to extend the interstate from Indianapolis through southwestern Indiana all the way through Texas into Mexico in the coming years. While most believe this highway will be good for the state’s economy, religious conservatives believe “I-69” sounds too risqué and want to change the interstate’s number. Hostettler, a proponent of the interstate extension, agrees. “Every time I have been out in the public with an ‘I-69’ button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do.” As a matter of fact, naming the highway’s extension I-69 is a violation of the Interstate Highway System’s rules for numbering roads. Interstates numbers are to increase from west to east. If the extension through southern Indiana is named I-69, then 69 will be west of I-65, a direct violation. “Naming the road I-63 not only follows numbering guidelines, it doesn’t have the sexual undertones that I-69 has,” says Hostettler, “It is a win-win situation.” The change will more than likely be introduced in committee when Congress convenes after the first of the year. Damn those teenagers! Thinking of what the numbers 10, 11, and 01 mean all the time! Hehehehe. "69." Even more meaning than 42. Indiana University study: “Dave” worst baby name By Edward Seelbach The social psychology department at Indiana University-Bloomington recently released the results of a twenty-year study of the effects different first names have on the psychological development of human males. The results were published in the December edition of Psychology Today, a leading magazine in the field. In 1983, IU psychologists began studying eight year-old boys in Indiana of the same race, religion, family structure, and socio-economic status in their attempt to determine if a person’s name was a major factor in their psychological growth and development. The study ended in February. All the boys observed as part of the study are now 28 years old. After several months of looking at data from the study, researchers say evidence shows that certain names almost always doom a child to mediocrity. Dr. Ethan K. Shireman, leader of the study, said that one name caused children and young adults the most psychological damage. “The worst name you can give a child is ‘David’ due to the negative nicknames derived from it,” said Shireman. It seems that “David” is not a bad name if one can keep it from being shortened to the shorter “Dave” version. “Our research has shown that the friends of young men named ‘Dave’ add an insulting adjective prior to the name over 98% of the time. This has made our state, and I imagine the country as a whole, full of boys named ‘Crazy Dave’, ‘Dirty Dave’, ‘Drunk Dave’ or ‘Dumb Dave’. These boys, all of normal intelligence and good family backgrounds, unconsciously live up to these destructive monikers,” said Shireman. People named “Dave” had more traffic accidents, drinking problems, arrests, and exhibited juvenile behavior more often than boys of any other name during the twenty-year study. Daves also performed poorly in school and on standardized tests, limiting their choice of colleges and their future earning potential. Shireman encourages all parents to think long and hard before choosing a name for their babies. “Avoid the name David at all costs unless you want to set your child up for failure.” Other names Shireman warns against are Darryl, Dirk, Donnie, and Bruce. Note the last sentence about other bad names? Poor Darryl. Hey, he's living in Indiana right now, isn't he? |
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