Eaglie's Aviary

Friday, April 09, 2004

Update from Spring Break 2004

With a bit of effort, I believe I know how the world will end.

With a game of Supremacy, Chief, Inconspicuous (Margaret), and Eaglie began a battle of epic proportions. The Soviet Union, the United States, and the European Union (whatever it was called back then, maybe the European Community?) sat on the map. I happily chose Europe (though I do love shouting "Go America" at opponents), as I always loved fighting for Europe in Risk.

The war was off! I quickly built up armies on my Soviet borders, and built a navy to jam up the St. Lawrence. Look out, here comes France again!

Then, bad luck. Spending $2.8 billion (euros?), I still couldn't figure out how to build one freakin' nuke. The Soviets and the US had already built a few, spending much less, and I couldn't get past researching them. Needless to say, Poland, Germany, Italy, and Scandanavia became radioactive particles without Mutually Assured Destruction helping me. Let me tell you, being fucked by the world's premiere superpowers is not fun when you can't fuck back.

My conventional forces mostly gone (Europe once had the biggest army and navy on the map), I sat back and waited for the fleecing of the rest of the Common Market. Then, luckily, the US and USSR went after each other.

Do you know what you do when the world is about to end? Take out a humungous bank loan with as much interest as the bank cares to charge. I happily took my $12 billion from the World Bank. $3 billion later, Europe had the secret of nuclear power. I bought as many nukes as I could. $9 billion later, I was a rogue state. The Americans and Soviets each had one turn to finish me, or I would end the world.

They couldn't stop me. A salvo of six missiles sailed through the atmosphere, and all the US and Soviet Union could do was watch... or join in the destruction of the Earth. Being the Americans and Russians they are, they scrambled to fire back. 12 explosions, 6 billion people dead, 3 superpowers wiped out, 1 Earth obliterated later, and billions of cockroaches have their day.

End of the World, kids.